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is it a bad idea to date a boy who has a slutty rep?
so theres this kid. he's pretty much a slut. he's dated like every girl ive ever met. but there's a reason for that; he's really adorable/funny/witty/charming. for the past couple years ive thought he was a really despicable person but within the past three months we've been hanging out like nonstop. he picks me up and calls me every day. hes my friend now, but i like him. a lot. he flirts constantly and asks me out like every other day. when i say no he pretends to get really sad and he'll start laughing and trying to hug me and he'll be like "whyyyy?" i WANT to say yes but ive kept myself from doing it. he makes me so happy and sometimes all i want to do is kiss him. i mean, how bad of an idea is this? should i just go for it? keep in mind that this kid gets a new girlfriend like every month. but he is so amazing. i don't know how much longer i can keep saying no.
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well you have to choices...since you like him so much and really cant take it then go for him BUT.....youll have to handle it if he were to break up with you a month after.Hes done it to other girls what makes you think he wont with you.Plus,hes probably done it with all them girls and has STD's and is willing to pass it on to you!OR you can say no and realize that this is only just a stage in your life thatl pass and youll get over him soo enough and later on youll be glad you didnt get with him.I,myself would never agree to go for a guy like that,i wouldnt care how sweet he is,a guy like him is afraid of commitment and wont stick to one girls he likes VARIETY,and thats not the type of guy you should have in a relationship.The choice is yours to make but youll have to handle the consenquences.
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Yikes. Dating a new girl every month is not slutty. It's capricious. It's experimenting. It's being a normal guy, and it's age-appropriate. There's nothing wrong with dating lots of other people. There becomes a problem when you're in a relationship with a lot of different people at the same time and they don't know it and think you're exclusive. There is something wrong with having sex with a lot of people at once or in quick succession. That's slutty. I don't know why a lot of teens on this board seem to think that they should all be in long-term relationships. You are or should be all full-time students. You should have college ahead of you, hopefully, and a lot of years in which to find the right person. Why settle down with one person while you are a teen? If you are really that into each other, then that's fine, but if you're not, you can still date casually without being a slut!
There's my rant of the day and it's not even 1:00 AM.
I say go for this charming boy. Just don't give him more intimacy than the relationship calls for. Have fun, for heaven's sake!
Sabine
Your feedback : "actually, that's your opinion. he only dates the girls because they refuse to have sex with him otherwise, and once he gets what he wants he breaks up with them. i'm sorry if i'm too young, but i DO want a long-term relationship and i'm not interested in fooling around. but thanks for the input."
Yes. Of course that's my opinion. That's what you asked for. That's what advice is. :) Knowing that he's not only dating all those girls, but also having sex with them leads me down a slightly different path. You should be honest with him that you really like him and let him know that you're in it for the long-haul if it works out. I think you should just flat-out say that you're not having sex with him until you're sure he's committed to the relationship. You are in control of when/if you have sex with him. Just going out with him does not mean you have to do it. Again, just have fun and let things progress naturally.
I'm not suggesting that you "fool around." I just think that one shouldn't necessarily equate dating with sex. However, in this case, you seem pretty sure that the two are connected for this guy. So you're right to be careful! I'm sorry that I miscommunicated my position.
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Anyone can change. Maybe he really does want something serious with you. Ask him what he is looking for in a relationship with you the next time he asks you out. Get an answer before you tell him anything about how you feel. Don't tell him you like him and don't tell him what you're looking for until he answers. Once you get an answer, let him know that if you were to agree to be in a relationship with him you'd want it to be serious and that you're worried that he isn't looking for a serious relationship with you. If you're both looking for different things, the relationship is never going to work and it's going to hurt you a lot and him not at all. A mature conversation can solve just about every problem. It may be awkward to start it, but it's much better than the situation you are in now. It'll take a few minutes and then everything will be over. If he beats around the bush and doesn't give you a clear answer, forget him. Beating around the bush only means that he's trying to come up with a lie and can't because you caught him off guard. If you date him and he's not serious about it, you'll get hurt hardcore. Don't do it no matter what kind of feelings you have for him. There will be other guys. Lots of them. Good luck. <3
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