Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
Visitors: 16163
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I often feel really lonely. Most of my friends have changed, and I don't know who are my real friends anymore. Some of my friends became really snobbish since they entered college.. And they act much differently towards me. It's like I annoy them, like i'm not cool enough. Also none of them ever have time for me.. Sometimes, I tell them to invite me when they do things together, yet they never even think of me.
Since two years, I also met a really nice guy named Kevin. He really is my best friend, but since a few months he's been completely ignoring me. He is always talking to his online girlfriend. When he can't talk to her he calls me and complains how boring things are without her. I feel like I'm a "last resort" thing to him.
How can I know who's my real friend and who isn't? (link)
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It sounds like you are feeling bad about yourself and need to develop some self confidence. Start focusing on things that you are good at, that make you feel better about yourself. I know friends are very important, but if you have a little distance, are more aloof and cool, they will probably respect you more. I don't mean fake it. That is why I suggested trying to increase your self confidence by focusing on things instead of your friends and their opinions.
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what do you do when u fall for you best friend? i know it sounds like the CLASSIC relationship question.. but i really dont know what to do! i have been best friends with this guy for 3 months.. that mite not sound like a long time... but we have grown really close in that time! i like him as more than a friend now and when he starts to talk about who i like... i dont know what to say! he says im shy.. and well i agree.. lol cause im not the foward type to just come out and tell someone that i like them... i dont want to ruin our friend ship by telling him how i feel, but what if he likes me 2 and he wants me to make the first move?? please someone help me.. (link)
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I have always thought that it is really hard for guys and girls to be just friends. One of them always wants something more, even if they keep it a secret. There might be one or two real guy/girl friendships out there, but they are rare.
I would ask someone who knows him well if he likes you or not. Hopefully that won't be as hard as asking your friend himself.
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What do boys REALLY like in a girl? All these magazines & stuff say that they love what's inside, not outside. Is this true or is it crap? (link)
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I think it is true. If they do only love what is outside then they are shallow and probably won't have any lasting relationships. I have known a lot of couples that don't look like movie stars and they really love each other.
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I have been married to a man I consider my soul mate for eighteen years. We have a 5 year daughter. My father died about a year ago. My husband loved him more than his own father (who is a selfish, egotistical, non-caring male). The loss touched us all greatly. I turned to taking care of my mom (my father's dying wish) and my daughter. I didn't realize that my husband had turned to drugs. On Feb 17, 2003 he was arrested and sentenced to 15 years. His tenative release date is Oct 2013. On Valentine's day (3 days before his arrest) his present to me was a broken leg. I still love this man. He seems to have changed since he has been in jail from the letters that he sends. Ironically it will be Valentine's day before I can see him. He was never violent during the times previous to my father's death. But he built a persona of me in his mind that he seems to hang on to. 10 years is a long time to wait. I have been told by others that he will be a harder person when he gets out. I had returned to school and will get my degree in Spring of 2005. I am not sure if I should remain married to him or not. I am afraid that all the lovely words he is writing is because he is afraid of abandonment. There are a lot of other details too numerous to mention but pertinent to the situation. But because of what he has done I have lost my home, my transportation, and my life. Should I give him a second chance or not? (link)
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He gave you a broken leg? When I first read this I thought you meant he broke his leg. I was going to advise you to be compassionate if you wouldn't gain anything significant from divorce. Then I reread your question. Whether he was abusive because of drugs or not doesn't matter. You have the responsibility to protect yourself. I would divorce him just for the broken leg. Physical abuse is completely unacceptable no matter what the circumstances.
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My friend(not best friend) is moving! What do I do!? She's moving to Florida and she doesn't want to go. her mom is getting remarried. What do i do?
I don't want her to go and she doesnt want to go. (link)
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I don't think there is anything you can do about her moving. It sounds like she is too young to move out with someone else, and her mother would not agree with that plan either. Just stay in close touch with her by phone, email, IM, snail mail, or whatever means you can. She may adjust to the move better than she expects, and if she doesn't you can help her just by being a friend.
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i get straight A's how do you feel about them apples (link)
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How do I feel? Well, since I don't know who you are, I am glad for you, I guess, in a general kind of way.
Oh, were you expecting a comment on your punctuation? Punctuation seems to be a personal thing on the internet. I always give the benefit of the doubt that everyone knows how to use punctuation and capitalization correctly, but just doesn't want to. But when you are giving advice I think it just looks better to punctuate.
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ok my girlfriends parents are neo nazi's. she a few bad grades and now shes grounded for over a month... this sux it means i cant do anything for her at all no two month annervirsy no dates no flowers nothig i cant even call her she has to call me...is this complete bullsht... we are trying so hard to stay together and it seems like one thin after another gets in our way we spend more time defending our relationship than atcually having one...her parents are cool but only to my face once i leave they say horriable things to my girlfriend...what can i do ive decided to start writing letters to her by snail mail since i cant see her or talk to her online but other than that i dont know what to do...i could use some help on this if anyone has any bright ideas please pass them my way thank you very much. (link)
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A month is a long time to be grounded. Her parents probably believe that her grades went down mainly because she has a boyfriend, and for her to do well in life in the future, her grades are much more important than her romantic life.
If you really care for her, and it sounds like you do, just be patient.
How are your grades?
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All my best friend talks about is her computer! Me & my other friends will talk about what we did over the weekend, and "Ellie" will just talk about gigabites, megabites, and that sort of stuff. We don't understand that sorta stuff at all! How can we get her to talk about normal people stuff, like guys, parties, or even her pets?! (link)
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I know how your friend feels. I get ignored by my friends when I talk about computers, unless they are another computer geek, then every one else leaves and there we are, left standing there.
Just tell her you want to talk about something else. Hopefully she will understand.
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I am getting a new bass/guitar. It is a washburn. I was wondering if it is hard to learn, or if my fingers will hurt the first few weeks or something. . . Im just curious, please tell me if its easy or hard or if it will hurt my fingers or etc. . .
Bye (link)
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I only tried to play the guitar for about a week, so yes it is hard. Yes, your fingers hurt. Unless you are very motivated and musical, you need to have a regular teacher and practice. It takes discipline.
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What does everyone here do to become a better writer? I want to be a writer when I grow up and I want to know if there are any writing excercises to become a better one. I know reading helps...but I'm just always in a writers block because all my writing is the same and it gets frustrating.
Know any way to improve my writing?
Anything...even if you think it sounds stupid.
Thanks! :) (link)
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Just write and don't think too much about whether you are writing good or bad stuff. Write about anything that comes into your brain. Tell yourself you are going to write 2 pages (or whatever amount you want to give yourself) then just start. Here's an example:
**************
I am going to write a paragraph about stuff.
I sat in front of my computer wondering if the heater was broken because it was getting cold. I didn't realize that this was the begining of the next ice age, but ultimately I read in the newspaper the next morning that weather changes had occured all around the world.
***************
Don't worry about how it is good, bad, the same, different. Just put down words. Add conversations and descriptions. This does two things. It gives you practice, and you will eventually find characters and plot ideas among the jibberish.
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I like this boy. I used to think he liked me because he gave me his phone number 2 years ago. I would call him every other weekend. Then I quit calling because his mom acted like she was getting mad. I haven't called him since September 2002. I like him now(2004) but I am positive that hwe doesn't like me. If I ask him out I'll be making a fool of myself. If I don't I'll end up telling my so called best friend and she'll tell everyone.What do i do? If you answer this question tell me in my inbox. my id is colgirl57. (link)
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If you know he doesn't like you and you will make a fool of yourself if you ask him out, why put yourself through that? I wouldn't ask him out. Find someone else to be interested in who is more likely to return the feeling.
Why would you want to tell your so-called best friend something that you don't want everyone to know, if you know she will just turn around and tell everyone?
So, don't ask him out. Don't tell your so-called best friend anything. Find another boy to like and find another friend to tell things too who doesn't gossip so much.
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okay here is the problem.
my friend entered in a beauty pageant and she is in the finals and she had them send ME info so i could enter. but my mother won't let me. my mom is 53 years old and im REALLY bummed out that she won't let me. i feel that im very pretty and that i could even beat my friend if i wanted to (not that i want to beat my friend) is my mom afraid that im not pretty enough to be miss teen of the nations? or does she think i will get a big head? im not going to get a bug head because thats not me. my mom use to do all this stuff when she was younger. is it that she WAY old or am i not good enough for her?
anyways im on this site to GIVE advice no ask but i really wanted some advice.
always
~kat~bare~ (link)
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I think you should ask your Mom why she won't let you enter. It might not be any of the reasons that you think it is. Maybe she thinks your are pretty enough, and is not jealous because you are younger but she had bad experiences with beauty pageants and doesn't want you to go through that. Who knows? You can guess, we can guess, but only your mom can tell you why she won't let you enter.
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ummm lets see is any one here lds? because if u r i would like to chat (link)
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I'm not LDS. I think they are not that common so you may be lucky to find them here.
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how do u know youself if your a good or bad kisser?help please (link)
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You know by how the other person reacts when you kiss them.
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Okay, I have a boyfriend who goes to my church (on wednesday nights) but i never see him because he never goes anymore and he doesn't go to my school. i want to dump him because i have this other boyfriend who i want to dump because he never sees me or calls me and i don't have his number and he doesn't go to my school. Okay, I want to dump both of them because I like this other boy who DOES go to my school and i know he likes me. If i ask him out though then ill have 3 boyfriends. i consider myself as if i don't have a boyfriend but i know i have to and soon will have 3. What to do? (link)
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Since you have no way to get in touch with your first two boyfriends I don't think you are obligated to consider them boyfriends. But if you can get in touch with them, just let them know you are dumping them. If you run into them later after you have asked the 3rd boyfriend out, just let them know then that you are no longer their girlfriend.
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ok i have a really hot and awsome bf...i get good grades...i have tons of friends...and i am lots of fun clubs..(gifted and talented siging)..my family is awsome...for some reason i feel like i am missing something..like there is a big whole in my body tht is missing..can anyone explain? (link)
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Maybe you should talk to someone who can tell you if you are just going through normal mood changes or if you should worry. Family doctors and crisis hot lines are good people to talk to. You don't seem to be in any crisis, but you can always call and they will tell you who to talk to if they don't have the answer. Crisis hot lines are in the front of the phone book.
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well ive been doing this for about two or three weeks now and id like to get some peoples advice who have been doing the whole advice column longer than i....is there anything i should change. should i be alittle less harsh maybe not speak my mind so much i dont kno i would love someone to critique me thank in advance -me (link)
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I've been doing this for about a half hour now and so I am not the kind of advice columnist you are looking for, but I did look at a few of your answers anyway, because I always have an opinion. I think you should use capital letters and punctuation. I didn't see anything else wrong with your answers, but I do think it is better not to be harsh.
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By the way, I don't care if I SEEM desperate.I just want to help people if they want help...sorry for spazzing out before but you guys can get really harsh even if you didn't mean to. (link)
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You probably got the harsh answers you did because of a breach in etiquette of this website. You put your email address up and asked for questions. This was seen as rude by the other advice columnists who wait for questions to come through in the normal manor. Keep being nice, help people if they ask for it, but be patient.
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ok im 13 8th grade 130lbs and feel weigh to over weight i want to look like a modle and im not doing this for the man of my dreams im doing this to look good. im pretty and got all the right looks but i feel to fat andi want to look good in a bikini aslo i want the man of my dreams to go woah!! when he sees me even thouhg he already thibnks that about me but he likes girlss like paris hilton and i kinda want her figure and everyones gonna say dont change you look for him im not im changing it so i feel good around him cuz right now i feel ot fat when im around even though everyone thinks im beautiful and skinny just help me do u think i could get liposection? or soemthing i have tried dieting but i just crave food to much but im trying to cut dwon on the fatining stuff im in a little bit of good shape i play soccer and lift sometimes but help me someone? (link)
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You said you aren't doing this for the man of your dreams, then you are wanting him to go woah!! So it sounds like you are doing it for him. You didn't say how tall you are, but since you play soccer and everyone says you are beautiful and skinny, it sounds like feeling fat is a false perception. Did you know that dieting can make things worse? Your body decides it is starving, and stops using as many calories, so you gain weight when you stop.
Besides if he like Paris Hilton, he is not worth it.
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my boyfriend and i had sex 3 days after i got off my period, he bust in me. i don't start until the 15th but do you think there's a chance i could be pregnant if he bust right after i got off my period? (link)
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Yes. Hopefully you will start on the 15th.
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