Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

askSweet_LiL_Angel

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Ok so my whole life I had planned on going to one high school and now, 2 months from the end of 8th grade, I find out I'm moving and its gonna be a different high school. I don't know anything about it or anyone that's gonna go there. Should I try to go along with how their students are, or stick to who I am, cuz I'm artsy and this high school is very technical from what I've heard. And how should I act, I've never been the new kid and now I'm gonna be the new kid at a new high school and I'll be a freshman, as if high school wasn't scary enough.

You should act like yourself. Youll meet people who are like you. High school isnt really a certain way one school isnt going to be more technical than the other they may offer a different selection of courses but their will be people who share the same interest.

Q: My stomach hurts extremely bad, when ever I pee it hurts worse. Its not my period because I already had it this month. It hurts towards the lower part of my stomahce whats wrong with me?

Okay so lay on a flat surface and you can or have someone else push hard on your lower right side of your stumoch and release if it is really painful its your appendix. I am on the depo shot and i get extremely bad pain i think its because of my depo shot as well as it couls be a urinary tract infection bring up this options to your doctor and see what she or her thinks.

Q: I've recently reconnected with a guy I met at school who I have always had a thing for. We are both from the same city but are in different places for university. We have always stayed in touch and been friends but recently we have been talking everyday and although nothing has actually happened yet, it's pretty clear that it will do. We have arranged to meet up when we are both back in our hometown which will be in a week or so.

The problem is not only do we live really far away from each other during term time (our universities are about 6 hours apart) but at the end of June I am going to work in another country for nearly three months over the Summer.

I don't know whether it's sensible to get more attached and start a relationship with him if I'm going to leave and only be able to see him during breaks after that. I struggle with insecurities and homesickness as it is and I worry that being in a long distance relationship will exacerbate things. What do you think?

I'm 19 and he's 21.

Have you thought about just keep the relationship part in the back of your mind till the end of this summer. Spend the time learning a lot about each other making sure he is a guy you can really see your self being with.

Q: I had this friend freshman year. She was my best friend. We had so many laughs and good times, and we've both been through some tough times. We were great together. But she caused too much drama. Her up and down depression, her negativity, and her promiscuous ways had me fighting a roller coaster of emotions. When I tried to help her, she always closed me out. She was always ordering me around. But the worst problem were the boys. They say you should never end a friendship because of a boy, but she did. She gave me permission to date her ex but yet was still flirting with him and messing around with him while I was with him. That led him to breakup with me several times and he went back to her.

I got over it and then when I was dating someone she'd been rejected by since fourth grade, my ex decided to rub in my face that she was still dating him. I got upset that she didn't tell me and I had to find out from someone else... And school finally came, and we didn't talk for a while. I forgave her but then she just went way too far. She was always sexually all over my boyfriend at the time because she was jealous that I got the guy she's always wanted. I told her off, and we didn't talk. And now, sophomore year, we are not friends. However, sometimes I miss her.

But I remember her shit. She called me a whore that loves "niggers" and I was finally through. I reported her for harassment and told her to her face she has no right to call me a whore. I know for a fact she has slept with more guys than I can even count.

But now I feel bad. She glares, stares, and dirty looks me up and down. But still, she doesn't talk crap about me anymore. She hates me. She's so jealous of me. I don't have any need to talk to her. But now I feel pity for her because her family got evicted from their home, and she has always had a tough time with life and school.

I don't want to be her friend because I pity her, but I just feel bad for all the shitty things I think about her. She's going through so much and I know barely anyone is there for her. In my classes, nobody talks to her. She's always sitting alone while everyone is flocked around me, laughing and having a great time. Sometimes I feel like a bad person for not liking her because she needs someone to talk to that understands her like I used to. I'm not desiring to be her friend again, but I just want to help her.

Honestly it sounds like you are better off to stay away from her. It seems like everything in a competion I knew girls like that in school and thats how it was they wont change. itll be like that for along time its not worth the headache you j ust have to make it threw school date a guy who doesnt go to your school. dont hang out in the sames places. at school dont even look at her just ignore her. shell finally relize you are putting up with her crap and shell move on to the next girl wholl hopefully ignore her and forcer her into getting some help.

Q: what does it mean when i sleep a lot. its always at a certain time i dont understand why this has been happening everyday for about a week now at around 2 as soon as i get home from school til about 5 or 6 in the after noon is that normal? and then when i go to bed at night i usually go to bed around 10 or 11 and wake up at 5:30 -6 depends how tired i am but i dnt know whats wrong with me why im so tired it wasnt like that before

There are many different reason's for this, Depression and stress are two big reasons. exercise staying active etc. can keep you awake more often.

Q: Ok so i had sex with my boyfriend and im scared that i might be pregnant and i can not tell by if i miss my period because i dont have mine. do to my birth controll. so im afraid that i might be and my parents wont give me any money so i dont have any way to buy a test... im also 18 and still in high school.. I DONT KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO IF I AM MY PARENTS WOULD LIKE KILL ME IF I AM PREGO..

It does not sound like your pregnant I am going to assume you are taking the depo shot? that is what i am on. The birth control i think can cause you to feel like you are pregnant. you are 18 you can just go into your doctors office and askk for a pregnancy test. you dont need your parents there with you.

Q: I don't know if I'm expecting "too much" from my roommate but I wish she could be more considerate about what she does and says. My biggest problem with her right now is the inordinate amount of noise she makes when I'm trying to sleep. I don't get much sleep at night because I'm up late studying and up early going to classes. When I take a valuable nap in the middle of the day, she claims she didn't realize and/or didn't see me. During those times and when I go to sleep before her/sleep in after she wakes up, she is so inconsiderate and loud. Some examples include leaving the door to the common room open - my suitemates are obnoxiously loud and it lets in a hefty amount of light and noise, bumps into my bed (it shakes it enough to startle me), closes her drawers and closet with too much energy, throws her granola box to the side after she's done crunching them in her open mouth, has phone conversations in the room, turns on music or the light, brushes her teeth in the room with her electric toothbrush, etc. I have already asked her to be careful when I'm sleeping because she wakes me up...in vain.

What's more aggravating is that she tells ME to be quiet when she's getting her precious 9 hours of sleep. First of all, she signed up to be in a morning suite when she's not willing to get up any tie before 9am. I have 8am classes almost everyday so I have changed my routine a lot just to make my mornings as quiet as possible - laying out my outfit in the mornings, packing my bags at night, using my phone alarm instead of my alarm clock, changing my lamp lightbulb to a dimmer one, etc. But she STILL tells me to be quiet because I wake her up when in reality she rarely wakes up except when she is sleeping really lightly. I am quiet as a mouse in the morning but I have no motivation to do so.

Just 4 hours ago, at 3am, she knocked the top half of my desk (it's a detached shelf like component) in her sleep. She says "Sorry, haha" and goes RIGHT back to sleep while I spend an hour putting it back up and picking up everything that fell and lying awake in my bed, super annoyed.

She also has a tendency to demean the college we go to. She says that this was her back up and she should've gotten into an Ivy League but doesn't know why she didn't. She says everyone here is such a slack with no motivation to do well. She talks about transferring, how she's so shocked at how low of a standard the school and kids have, etc. First of all, this school she is talking about is UVA - #2 public college in the US. Second of all, does she not realize that she's not doing so hot academically here yet she says UVA kids are stupid and she should've gone to an Ivy? Third of all, does she not realize how annoying and insulting that is?

I only have 2 months left before the semester ends, but I am at my wit's end and on the verge of just screaming my head off at her. What should I do? What should I say?

I dont know how dorm rooms are set up or anything do you have your own room? If so id just get a lock. but im assuming you share a room or something or else you would of thought of that. Two months go quick and maybe next semester you can change dorm rooms some how. you have to give to get what you want. but it sounds like there isnt much to give to this girl. she sounds like she wants to be able to hang out and kick it with her room mate rather than study. can you tell the college that she signed up for an am dorm but shes not even taking am classes or being respectful to your needs at all.

Q: I'm a highschool student and this year has been rough for me. I have very few friends. I have low confidence, low self-esteem, and i am really insecure. I'm always feeling like I'm being judged by everyone I walk by. I feel like I'm not important and no one cares about me or of me. I don't feel accepted at my school. What can I do?

I was the same way growing up. You have to be confident with your self. Do sports, or dress the way you really want to dress, hair how you want to wear it and just dont care. Walk down the hall ways with your head held high smile and say hello to some of the people you walk by but most important smile smile smile.

Q: I have been skinny all my life. I am 15 years old and I have a fast motabolism. I eat all the time and as much as I possibly can. I've even counted every calorie once to make sure I was eating enough! I want to gain weight in my arms and legs especially! My legs look like sticks to me. I'm tired of people telling me how I look anorexic or asking me if I am anorexic. How can I gain weight with a high motabolism?

you can learn to deal with and tone yourself out like someone else answered or you can talk to your doctor about slowing down your metabolism

Q: im not saying im scuicidal but just wondering what other people think on it. Do you guys see it as a person going thru so much that decided to end his misery. Or do you see it as some shallow uncaring jerk that decided to end it. I dont know i just kind of want peoples opinions on the subject whatever it may be.

I think if someone has the thought of suicidal in his mind that , that person needs to talk to a counsler needs to get a little help maybe even medication. Unsolved depression can only get worse. If its not treated. I had post partum depression and post dramtic stress depression. I still have post dramtic stress little things trigger it but im being able to handle it a little better Post Dramtic Stress is b ecause of something in your past. Post partum if after babies. My sons i never treated but when i had my daughter i was on anti depressants and im 100% better.

Q: Okay... I am doing this for the very first time but nevertheless probably my last try at self help..this is 26 female.
I am the edge of insanity.. i am in a very troubled relationship.. married for 5 years now.. My husband doesn't earns a penny, doesn't allows me to go and fetch for myself, hes got a loan of 500000$, no child. hes constantly fighting, he rendered me homeless on 3 counts, but then took me back. right now m homeless again, living in motels of the money loaned from friends. I'm planning to divorce him, but he wont let me go. I have given him enough chances. but i am not sure what i should do next. suicide seems the most appropriate. PLZ help. ANYONE!

Hun suicide is never an option and the only reason he wants you around is you are paying his bills and you are supporting him. You deserve a man who is going to get his ALL into making you happy and he is out there for you. you just have to wait for him to come around in the mean time drop the baggage (your husband) divorce him. if he constantly bugs you harrasses you get a restraining order he breaks this restraining order hell be arrested i dont know you but i have faith in you. you can be strong and dont give into this man no matter how hard it gets.

Q: I posted this question about 2 weeks ago: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=591220 You don't need to read it to answer this, but basically I said I was sick of my boyfriend and everything about him. I'm a high school senior, he's a college freshman, we've been together for close to a year and a half. My discontent with him began last May and hit a high when he bought me an eBay ring for Christmas.

I confronted him 2 weeks ago and told him that he barely talks to me or communicates. I thought that communication might fix us. It hasn't. He stepped up majorly, awesomely so. Yet 2 weeks later, I'm still not happy.

I honestly just don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. I made that decision last week. I barely replied to his texts and managed to avoid our once-weekly 45-minute Skype session and shortened our one night together a week to 2 hours. I told myself that if things were neutral or bad the night I saw him, I would end it the next week (this weekend). Those two hours together, he was the sweetest he's been in months. Legitimately. Lots of hugs, snuggling, kisses on the cheek. Nothing like the disinterest I've received in the past.

Obviously he missed me. But is it really that promising that I have to ignore him for him to show me affection?

I really want to see what a relationship would be like with this kid after I finish a year of college. I don't want this to be over. He's a good person and I love him. But its my senior year and I want to do what makes me happy. I feel like he's tying me down (every single Saturday night I spend just watching movies at his house... every... single... one...) and that I'm tying him down - he travels nearly 2 hours every weekend to come home; if I was removed from the equation, he might do so less often.

A big thing for me too is that I really want to date other guys and experience new situations. This kid was my first boyfriend, and while I'm glad things lasted so long, I feel like I'll never know what's out there and what's better for me if I don't look.

I may or may not want to be with him in the long run, I'm not sure yet. And I'm 17-- I shouldn't have to be sure. So would it be wrong to break up with a "Sorry, try again later"? Or should I just flat out end it? Or should I stay with him until I'm sure? What if I'm never sure???

Oh, and added to the situation, there's another guy who's interested in me, and I get butterflies around him, whereas that hasn't happened with my boyfriend in... a year........

Any personal stories or general advice would help... thanks :)

i am assuming with your boyfriend being in college you dont see h im very often and that is what is affecting your relationship you want someone who is there and there all the time not just sometimes. think of it this way if you were able to see each other every day how would the feelings be then? i think this other male is getting in your mind hes around your boyfriend is not that is why you are having mixed feelings throwing your relationship away now for someone you dont really no as much as you know you boyfriend is it worth it?

Q: i have a normal period but for sum reason my period was weird for the month of feb. i had my period on feb 3 i stoped on feb 6 i had sex several times after that but then i had my period on feb 27 that night then it quit on feb 28 the afternoon could i be pregnant i really want another child. i had the signs of being pregnant i took a test and it was a negative. can anyone help me

i have had irregualr periods since i gave birth to my first child and it was like an olyimpic sport trying to get pregnant with my second since i was so irregular sometimes id go 4 months with out a period. you can indeed be pregnant do you feel like you are? with my daughter i just new i was pregnant i took about 6 pregnancy tests spaced out with in a month to two months all negitive. i finally told my husband just one more pregnancy test i know im pregnant i got up early went to the dollar store bought a two pack of pregnancy tests went home and they were both positive. it takes time im sure you know this. you need to be patient continue trying watch your period write them down if that will help and try and stay stress free.

Q: Hi- sorry to rant but my family is crazy and I need to vent somewhere. Please help.

Basically, whenever my mom gets angry, she turns into a psycho and starts yelling at my brother.

There's a lot of history behind this. When he was a junior at high school, he started going through severe depression. At the time, my parents were having a very aggressive divorce and my mom was in a very bad state of mind, often crying and losing her temper easily. As a result, she didn't notice that my brother was depressed so she didn't notice when he started missing school without telling anyone.

When the teachers finally mentioned his absence to my mom she became furious and started screaming at him, that he was just like his father and why couldn't everyone leave her alone as she sacrificed so much from her life to try to make things work out for everyone. To this day she still speaks about the start of my brother's depression as if it was a personal betrayal (she had high expectations about his school future as he is smart).

My brother then proceeded to fail his high school exams and not get in to university. He and my mom would often fight, sometimes ending with her breaking things from his room against the wall. My brother lost interest in everything and had (and still has) no friends. He refuses to talk to my dad because my dad is a dishonest person who isn't interested in having a relationship anyways (a lot more history there but i won't go into that) .

My brother then went to a 6-month therapy camp abroad, stayed with relatives, came back to re-take his high school exams (after a 1 year study program) and failed them again. He has no drive and I'm very worried about him. He is now doing a pre-university course that will give him one more chance to get into uni but I'm afraid that he may fail again. He doesn't do drugs or anything like that but the main problem is that he just doesn't do anything! He is addicted to the internet and cares about nothing else.

My mom is still angry at him. She thinks that he doesn't respect her and thinks that she is an idiot (that's what she tell me). If she just communicated with him about it, she would find that he is actually a very nice person who would respect her if she just stopped using him as an emotional punch back. To me it seems like she just gets so unreasonably angry, as if she is taking out her issues against my dad onto my brother (or something!).

They just had another argument. My brother lost his temper last night because my mom made him do the dishes, so she got really angry at him for losing his temper. She then started yelling at both of us for not taking her seriously at around 12pm, woke up my brother by yelling at him and stormed out of the house. My brother didn't let me come into his room (I think he was crying) but a while later told me he was going to the local hospital because his hand was bleeding. It turned out he had punched his mirror and now there is blood spattered all over his floor.

When my mom comes home, she will probably get angry at him for losing his temper again and getting blood all over the floor. She seems to think he is some sort of monster. I am now sitting home by myself feeling pretty shaken up and I'm not sure what to do. When they both come home, it's going to be hell. Please help.

i think your brother shound apply for public housing get out on his own.. look for a job and get away from your mother. hes the monster she says he is because of her. I am not saying your mother is a bad person but she took the divorce hard and still is. she doesnt know how to deal and she needs a theripist as well. and you are doing great seeking for help; i dont know how old you are but you are in an unsafe enviroment and you need to find some place else to go weather with family or something.

Q: 18 female

Okay so I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and it is absolutely the most perfect relationship. We have been having sex since month 2 and we always use a condom. My period has ALWAYS been on time. However, my period is a week late right now and I don't know what to do. I didn't have unprotected sex but I am starting to get worried. Need advice!

Alot of things cause a late period. including sex. thinking about your period being late causes a late period. give it 2-3 more weeks. take a pregnancy test if you still have not recieved a period. You may want to look into birth control if you are not wanting any kids right now. I use the depo shot and I love it

Q: My friend has internal bleeding and she hasn't been coming to school a lot. People have been saying that shes dieing. And she has been to the hospital a lot. How could she have gotten this internal bleeding and how does a person even get it?

Internal bleeding is cause by some sort of accident. such as falling, car accident, etc. When you get a bruse on you that is internal bleeding.. but very serious internal bleeding needs to be treated at a hospital. to be treated the hospital will need to do surgery to stop the bleeding.

Q: my parents used to make me clean the entire house as my "chore" for living at home, all through high school. My sisters are apprx 12 years younger than me, and because my mom is perpetually sick and my dad is perpetually working, i have always been the one to take care of them. Recently i moved out, and over the last few months the house has absolutely gone to hell. the carpet is literally covered in clothes, food, and my sister's toys. my dad has left some plumbing projects undone which has resulted in mold. to make a long story short, they no longer care if the house is clean or not.

I have noticed since moving out that my sisters (4 and 6) are always ill. they go through pneumonia, colds, flu viruses more than any other kids i have seen, and i know it's because my family is living in their own filth. whenever my dad sits them down to eat, he brushes all the food crumbs (and objects) onto the floor to make room. he uses bath towels as pot holders.

Because i was hurt that it only mattered to them when they could force me to keep the house, i stopped coming home every weekend to clean up for them (even when my mom said she was going to pay me) but started once again when i went into the bathroom and stepped into a used baby wipe. (my dad won't allow us to flush them, we have to throw them in the trash, which was overflowing)

I think my parents might be hoarders as well. you cannot walk through the garage, even though we have cleaned it out 4 or 5 times; my dad refuses to get rid of anything. only recently could we even walk around downstairs.

the house being in constant disarray has resulted in my parents being on edge and also, constantly sick. i usually wake up to screaming. I can't talk to my parents about anything without being treated like i am younger than my sisters, then i am reprimanded for trying to correct them.

now here is the problem. I am going to move to another state soon, and i am afraid to leave my sisters in this environment; there is no way i could take them with me, i can barely support myself. if i mention anything about how to keep organzied, i get yelled at, and treated like i am too stupid to understand them. it's getting frustrating, and i don't know how long i can stand coming home and seeing everything BEYOND dirty. how do i tell my parents that i am worried about this environment, and that i want things to change? my mom is too sick to really help, and my dad has started habits that are actually making it harder to keep things clean (like putting trash in the sink when the can is full, then putting and industrial sized can in the living room because he doesn't want to walk 5 feet.) it looks awful and it's harming their health. furthermore, i am tired of being responsible for essentially, 4 children. i don't want my sisters to have the same emotional problems that i did from being seen as a cleaning tool... and i have no idea how to talk to my parents about it.

please, please help.

Is there grandparents or aunts or uncles or something that could care for these young children. I know hoarding is a dieses but its self inflicted. I like to keep crap to but I am not going to i have a 4 year old and 1 year old i cant keep a house like that. i would love to be lazy and not pick up after my self and my family but that is not life. not part of growing up and your sisters are being taught they dont have to clean that this is how they are supose to live. you need to find some help for your family because worse comes to worse.

Q: i've been talking to this guy from craigslist, who's got an 85 camaro for sale. he's asking for 2000 for it. he said that it has no ac, or heater, and needs new vacuum hoses. he said he's got the vacuum hoses, just hasnt had the time to hook them up. i thought that he was asking a reasonable price for it, considering what's wrong with it. but i wanna know how hard is it to fix the ac and heater? what all do you have to do? is it expensive? would i have to buy new parts? i'm going thursday to go look at it and see if it's worth buying.

also, if anyone could tell me little things to look for when i'm looking at it to see if it's worth buying, that'd be great! i know nothing about cars! :) thanks so much

Do you know any one who does no something about cars, friend , family anyone. That is your best bet. I think 2000 sounds a bit to high. You may want a nice car but my brother has a 85 camaro and has nothing but trouble with it. i bought a 97 dodge dakota off craigslist a few days ago and only thing it needed was the front bumber back on and ass transmition fluid it cost me 8 dollars to fix and i paid 400 for it. it may need ac fluid of you may have to replace the ac condenser . call o rielys or any kind of part store for cars and talk to the sales associate they no alot about cars and what it may need but yes its going to cost you some money. also it could have a belt broke for the ac.

Q: So i have a sister & my parents, whenever im on my period my mom and sister always piss me off, i tell them to dont make me mad when im on it but they say we wont! but they totaly do they dont understand me, and when im mad i feel like theres no way to escape my life and to free my self but when i tell my sister this she just laughs and makes fun of me :(

Your family isnt always getting upset with you when your on your period. When you are on your period your hormones are all crazy, your moody, you got cramps there are so many other things that happen on your period. Do you know what post partum depression you get it after you have a baby. its sort of like that you can cry alot i used to get so mad at my husband and be angry or feel like he was mad at me and angry the only difference is the way of treating your period is pamprin or midol. i always used pamprin it takes a little while to start work but it does.

Q: Hi there,

I am under doctor's orders to eat certain items in my diet and one of these is oatmeal. Do any of you have new and exciting ways to eat oatmeal? Not the instant packet kind either, please. Thank you!

I know you said not instand oatmeal but I use milk instead of water and it tastes so much better (coming from someone who doesnt like oatmeal but eats it beacuse its healthy.) McDonalds also sells Oatmeal for 1.99 all day long ( i work there :( ) lol. but it comes with diced apples and raisins. with or without brown sugar.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.