I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Member Since: August 19, 2012
Answers: 317
Last Update: June 14, 2018
Visitors: 18517
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21/f
I'm having a hard time right now. There are things that are changing in my family environment and now things are changing in my relationships.
There's this guy. We dated when I was 17 years old. We went on and off when I was 19 years old, we weren't really seeing anybody in between those times. Our on and offs were pretty much him saying that he wanted to move on, and three days later he'd come back. We were going through a rough patch of him telling me to move on and then coming back asking me to stay. We fought constantly over the past 4 years... But recently, things got better. We stopped fighting. I thought because we've been through so much we don't fight as often anymore. When we get into an argument, we apologize and we automatically know what to do and we make up within those 1-3 hours. I thought things were going well.
I saw him two days ago and he seemed fine... But after I got out of the car things changed. He avoided me, he barely spoke to me, etc. I told him instead of keeping me in the dark, what was going on, he said he didn't want to "continue this complicated relationship anymore" and that he wanted to "start moving on" again... Since he was planning on moving to Japan.
I hate it when he says that. About Japan, he told me these news sometime last year. He told me he wanted to move to Japan for a couple of years and work for a company before he goes off to medical school because after medical school, he would not get a chance to go. I was in denial.
For the past year I was trying to believe what other people told me. The people that I trust the most and has a pretty good grasp about him, believe that he won't go and that it's just a dream that he has since he has this habit of running away from his problems and trying to escape reality and if he did move, he'd only be there for a month because it's quite pricey and the work environment there is terrible. His friends told me that they don't know what he's going to do, and that maybe he's doing it now because he feels like this is the only time to do it and that he will be back for medical school. Others? They say they don't know him well enough to tell whether or not if he's going to go.
To be honest, I've been having a hard time grasping onto that idea. The more he talks about it, the more he tells people, the longer time passes, it makes it hard for me to try to believe he's not going because I don't want him to. And I feel selfish thinking and hoping he wont go.
I've been needing the reassurance that he won't go but I feel more sad when the time may come.
I fear that if he goes, what if he finds someone else? What if things do work out there and he's there for years? To even think about that, it scares me and worries me. His decision on going makes me feel like I'm not important enough for him to stay and he's leaving me behind instead.
What am i going to do? I've been trying to be the best for him because i want him to stay but it comes off as not enough. Do you really think he's not going to go at this point or is it still a dream he has to escape medical school? (link)
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Both of you are very young to be making any life decisions based on your relationship. If going to Japan is his dream and you care about him then you will not try to persuade him to stay. If someone really loves you they would never try to stand in the way of your dreams. If he truly loves you he will come back to you someday. You have to give him the space he needs to get his life figured out. In the meantime focus on your dreams and goals for your life so that you can be happy and fulfilled whether this relationship works out or not. Best of luck to you both!
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Today is my 23rd birthday and he didn't even get me anything. I don't even want much just something to feel special but no. We have a long distance relationship and I had a party Saturday that he wasn't able to come to because he couldn't afford the 500$ ticket but he was able to go out that night and spend over 100$ on drinks. He told me he feels like an awful boyfriend but then today on my birthday he tells me he's going to the casino on Thursday... So I'm guessing he doesn't feel that awful. On his birthday I made a huge deal I sent him a care package, visited him, and bought dinner and some other things for dessert. But he can't even send a card or anything. Am I just over thinking this and being a brat? Or is it time to rethink my involvement in this one sided relationship (link)
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You already know this is a one sided relationship so I am guessing you don't think very much of yourself. I am also guessing you think this kind of guy is all you can get or all you deserve. If you believe that then you will always have a man who treats you this way whether it is this one or not. I read two sentences of your question and figured out this guy is a bum and not good enough for you to give him the time of day, much less elaborate birthday gifts! Do you really want a self centered jerk who can't even take a moment of his time to send you a birthday card? Please, please what ever you do get some counseling, invest in some self help books but please break this pattern in your life before you really get dumped on! You deserve a LOT better than somebody like this!
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I live in an apartment complex, and the apartment above mine decided to overload their washer, causing massive leaking from my ceiling. I have come to notice than when my one year old son and I are home, we are very congested, but when we leave, within minutes, our noses are clear and we can breath just fine again. I have spoken to the maintenance man about the possibility of their being mold, but EVERY time I bring this up "Oh you don't know what mold looks like. It ain't mold" I had lived in an apartment before this one, where there was NO ventilation system installed in the restroom, and yes, I dealt with black mold before. I know what it looks like, and what effects it has on me. I was mostly wondering, what organization would I get a hold of to hopefully get this situation properly taken care of? I am worried about my sons health, and speaking with the buildings management seems to do me no good. I can't move out because I can't afford to break the lease and to find a new place to live on my salary. Any and all help is greatly appreciated. For easier references, I live in the state of Indiana, and my apartment is supposedly owned by the IRS, so they say. Thank you for your time. (link)
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Unless you make your rent check out to the IRS then I strongly doubt they are your landlords. You can probably find out who owns your building at your local courthouse. In most states it is a matter of public record. Unless you actually see mold it might be a little tricky to get anything done about it. Your local health department should be able to point you in the right direction and possibly even send an inspector out to have a look. If mold is found and your landlord refuses to take steps to remove it, you have grounds to break your lease, however you might have to take legal action. Some states offer this service free to low income families.Please try to get this taken care of ASAP. If black mold is indeed present it could pose a very serious threat to your one year old. Good luck.
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I hate my mom she always lets me down i want a new family, a new life and a new happnnes.I hate my mom because she made me lose a lot of friends,now when i go to school it looks like no one wants to talk to me, because my mom took me back 7th grade and than she made me do 6th grade math. I want my old life back. I want to move and to have a new life. (link)
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Having to repeat 7th grade must be hard for you but unfortunately this IS the situation you are in. It is not going to change, so all you can do is make some changes about how you are going to deal with it. You can blame your mom and make yourself miserable or start talking to your classmates and make some new friends. Whether you know it or not you are in a pretty good position here. Since you are older the other kids probably think you are pretty cool which is probably why they are afraid to talk to you. Start talking to them and I'm sure you will have new friends soon. As for your old friends if they are really your friends they will keep in touch even if you go to a different school. You say you want a new life, well in a way you already do have a new life. If you moved and went to a new school you would be in a class full of kids who don't know you and won't talk to you(sound familiar?)This really is NOT as bad as it seems. If you are friendly to your new classmates they will accept you in time. How about trying to forgive mom, I'll bet she loves you very much. If she was concerned enough for your future to go to your school and choose your classes then she really does care. Some parents don't even show up at school when their kids have a problem. I'll bet if you go to her without all the hate and tell her how bad this hurts she will be there for you. Good luck and hang in there!
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Alright, I am not a good singer, but I do believe it can be built up over time and practice, but I don't understand certain things. One being breathing techniques. I've heard that we don't breathe properly (Which makes no sense) All this stuff about diaphragm, stomach, chest, and throat. But the thing is, I cannot tell if I'm doing it properly or how to breath the way they tell me to. It's like I'm missing an upper body monitor/sensor system and manual book that other people apparently have. They tell me not to sing with my throat and all this other stuff. I breathe how I normally breathe, so when they tell me to breathe a certain way, I have no idea how to. Any advice? And when I do try to sing, it's like I'm either shouting it or talking it. (link)
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I am NOT a good singer either so I can relate! The most important question here is ,do you LOVE to sing? If you really do then get your music teacher to show you some good techniques. The most important thing is to put your heart into it. There are many examples of famous musical artists who are not GREAT singers! Bob Dylan comes to mind immediately! If you watched Fergie's superbowl performance,need I say more! The studio can work miracles with mediocrity!Don't stop singing if you love it!You will find your own style in time if you just keep practicing.
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i dont like to whine,but cut myself burn myself bruise myself am bullied and have depression and i wrote this poem about it and ive suffered with self harm for about 4 years and i would like to have feedback on whether or not its any good....sorry there sad
Words hurt
and no razor can take that away from me
my sleeves were
once white but now stained red
the truth burns
more than any match can tell
i hide
behind the blood and the bruises
i worry that
some day someone will see through me
and ill have to face the scars
(link)
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Make no mistake, you ARE a poet! I recognize this because I am also a poet and have read poetry for many, many years. You have talent. The downside of being a poet is that we feel things deeply. As you already know the world gets to see a totaly different person from the one you really are inside. Sensitive people often withdraw into themselves taking their intense pain with them in an effort to shield themselves from further hurt. You already know by now this doesn't work but it's the best you've got right now. Please listen carefully to what I am about to say. You can release these feelings through your poetry WITHOUT harming yourself! As soon as these feelings come to you WRITE, WRITE, WRITE! You are VERY talented! Your words are on fire! The kids who are picking on you today will be the grown-ups who will brag about having known you in school when you become a well known writer! I don't want to give you the same old counseling speech but it IS the thing to do right now, ok? There's no shame in it and nothing bad will happen. A good therapist will just teach you some coping skills for when things get out of control. Your writing is truly awesome. Try to write on some other subjects that you would feel comfortable showing in public. If you are still in school enlist the help of a teacher you feel comfortable with. You have very bright future ahead of you! Good luck and keep writing!
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How do u deal with acute colitis? What do u eat or drink? (link)
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I am going to assume since you are asking this question that you have been given this diagnosis by a medical doctor. Any doctor making this diagnosis should have explained the diet you will need to follow or sent you to a nutritionist for follow up. Only a medical doctor familiar with your particular case can make any safe dietary recommendations. If you haven't in fact been diagnosed and you are only guessing based on your symtoms get thee to a doctor ASAP! You could have a serious condition and delaying treatment could have serious reprecussions!
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what does it mean when your boobs hurt not my nipples just my boobs? (link)
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Drinking a lot of soda with caffiene can cause breast pain. Many women also experience breast pain just before or during their menstrual period. Young girls often have breast pain when their breast are starting to grow, it is a natural thing and nothing to worry about. If however you should feel any lumps or get a discharge from your nipples that would need to be checked out by a doctor.
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Here's the thing I hate eggs and the texture of them and above all smell. It makes me throw up actually. I wish I were kidding about that. That usually occurs if I see them being whipped in a bowl. I know it's unusual but sadly that's my dilemma.
I have to lose weight as I'm overweight like there's no tomorrow. I'm starting a GYM and sticking to it. The thing is meal replacement shakes would help me and I want to use the ones designed specifically for shedding pounds.
I've tried Slim Fast and a generic brand but here's what I notice. You can't help but taste the egg and feel its texture as you're drinking the ones that come in the cans you shake before drinking. The powders also have that kind of consistency to them and in my opinion have a bit of a burning aftertaste to them.
I was hoping someone here could recommend a drink a powder or maybe a solution of things I could whip up in a blender for weight loss purposes and replacing a meal such as Lunch or breakfast. Thanks. (link)
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I am not sure why you are adament about choosing a meal replacement(which it sounds like you hate) instead of actual food. Most meal replacement drinks are higher in calories than a good nutritious breakfast! My advice is to eat a small portion of something that tastes great and is good for you! If you insist that it be drinkable then why not a smoothie made with some yogurt and real fruit with a little flaxseed added in? Yummy! Please remember you didn't gain weight overnight and you can't lose it overnight. You can really harm yourself if you are not careful. Starving and over exercising can cause a serious electrolyte imbalance which can actually be fatal.Seriously low potassium levels can lead to heart attack and death. Please be sensible when dieting. Small portions of good nutritious food are always your best choice. Try to imagine if there was a magic pill you could take and you would never be able to gain or lose weight again. You would have to be the weight you are for the rest of your life. You would have to accept yourself the way you are. It would sort of be a relief wouldn't it? Think about it. You don't need that pill to accept yourself as you are until you can become a fitter healthier you. Good luck on your road to fitness!
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Note: I am a 16 year old female. All people mentioned are also my age.
I've been friends with a guy for 3 years, through the end of elementary through to high school. I've always been his "advice columnist", offering him help with girls and problems he would have. Like any other friend would do. Last year, I made friends with a really nice girl, and us three ended up in a group project together at school. Immediately after the first class, where we brainstormed, he told me that he liked my friend. He asked for my help to get him closer to her. It was great because my friend (the girl) told me that she thought he was cute as well. So I got them to talk more, and then they found out each other's feelings with some help from me.
A couple of weeks went by swimmingly, but then the girl told me she lost her feelings for him. My guy friend didn't let go, even when I told him truthfully months later that she had a serious crush on someone else. Eventually my friend had to personally turn him down.
Fast forward to the beginning of this year. He got a girlfriend, and they seem very compatible. Fast forward to summer. His 6 month anniversary is coming up. He occasionally asked me to help him be friends with my friend.
I had my birthday party a few days ago. Just a small party with 5 of my closest friends. As soon as I told the guy that the girl (who I am still close with) was attending, he jumped aboard. I'm sure he cared for my actual birthday, but I found that he flirted a lot with my friend, and even left the party 10 seconds after she did.
Even after the party he joked about how he was attracted to her whenever she's near. Then he said that he wanted him, the girl, and I to be close friends. He reminds me of this wish in many of our conversations. He mentions her often saying he wants to be close friends with her.
It's been going on for a while, and maybe I'm being paranoid, but I feel like he's now using me to get closer to my friend. We talk about other things, of course, and we talk a lot, but he mentions my friend, more so after the party. I'm afraid that he, or my friend, and/or his girlfriend will get hurt if I don't stop his seemingly lingering affections for my friend. Plus, I have suspicions of my own.
So I'm sorry for the length of this question, but I'd like to have some peace of mind. What do you think about the situation? (link)
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Wow,this poor guy has it bad for your friend! I am guessing part of the attraction is due to the fact that she is unavailable. Guys love the thrill of the chase! You are really caught in the middle of this one! If your guy friend cheats with your girlfriend then you will feel guilty about the current girlfriend! I think you need to sit him down for a good heart to heart. Tell him you are concerned about him still having feelings for your friend since he has moved on with someone else. You should also tell him that you are feeling a bit used and you don't want to be caught in the middle of this situation. Give him a chance to come clean. Maybe the talk will make him see how hopeless the situation really is and that he is in danger hurting his current girlfriend very badly. Good luck to you, I am sure this will all work out!
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14 / Female
I know I might be to young to have sex but I still have questions .. I've almost had sex a few times but I was to scared too . Why am I so scared ? How can I get over my fears ?? My insecurities ?? How do I know if he is the right one ?? Im confused because i want to have sex with a friend so if im not good they wont leave me but i want to have sex with my boyfriend of a good amount of time so i know its special .. I dont want to mess up or anything .. Any advice I would apreciate (: Thanks (link)
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You are right to be concerned. A lot of things can go wrong if you have sex before you are ready. You could end up with a bad disease or an unplanned pregnancy. If your boyfriend really cares about you he will not try to push you into something you are not ready for. You can still be intimate with your boyfriend without going all the way. I want to tell you at 14 to please not engage in ANY sexual behavior but I know that is probably not an option you want to hear. Please talk to your Mom or a trusted adult. They may understand a lot more than you give them credit for!
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hey! i want to know how to have phone sex?
(link)
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First, you have to have a willing partner on the other end of the line! If you have that in place then you just start talking sexy and explaining in detail what you would like to do to each other until you are both turned on enough to masterbate. That is about as plain and straitforward as it gets.
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I've been sick all week with my tonsils infected so bad my temp has been over 103 everyday this week Sunday-Thursday I went to hospital got somewhat better but that whole time I couldn't eat or drink around Tuesday my gums started to hurt and dry up and bleed and now they all hurt now I brushed and scrubbed them and they are killin more. Also my tounge and mouth are all bumps and scabs..is it possible to get infected like that from my tonsils? I hope it goes away I had good teeth. (link)
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You need to go back to the doctor ASAP. I am thinking you could possibly have thrush in your mouth(an overgroth of yeast from the antibiotics)If that is the case you will need to be treated for it. I am not a doctor so my best advice is to get back to the Dr. or ER immediately.
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Hey I'm 17 and I was wondering if I could get a hookers number or something I'm not a virgin but need sex please help (link)
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I can remember being 17 and I really do feel for you but please don't do anything stupid!Your hormones are in overdrive right now and that is impairing your good judgement. You can get AIDS(and a variety of other nasty diseases) from prostitutes, don't go there! Prostitutes can also give you herpes which can cause very painful blisters on your genitals for the rest of your life! There is NO sex that good!I am sure you know what your safe options are until you are in a caring relationship with a trusted partner.Good luck!
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How does it feel to date ur step-brother coz i have feelings for mine top and hoping he has the same for me
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I understand how you might develope feelings of closeness with someone of the opposite sex who is not a blood relative living in your own home but whatever you do please, please consider your family first! This would be devastating to your parents if they found out!If other siblings are involved it will be awkward and weird for them as well.Please be mature enough to look at the big picture and how something like this will affect your family! Try to think of your step-brother as family and not a potential boyfriend. There are a lot of guys out there you could date and not destroy your family. Do you think maybe you want to do this to get back at your parents? Are you angry with them? Tell your parents you are experiencing some private issues and you need to see a counsellor. I am sure they will make you an appointment. You really need to find out what is at the bottom of this. You have to see that acting on these feelings can only end badly for everyone involved. I really hope you will do the honorable thing and put your family first.Good luck to you.
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hi i need ur guys advice theres this girl at my school that i know and like but im not sure if she likes me.
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I am going to recommend the age old approach of sending a third party to do the dirty work! Enlist the help of a mutual friend you can really trust. Get them to ask her what she thinks of you and if she would go out with you if you asked her. If you don't like that approach then talk to her everytime you get a chance and see if she is friendly or stand-offish. If a girl is interested she will persue you. Maybe not in a direct way but she will question your friends and smile and flirt with you. If she is not doing any of these things I would try to get to know her a little better before asking her out.
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I have this friend and its been two years since we met of course at school he's actually a good guy with a humor personality which i love about him. and in the pass months i been feeling something special for him like more than friends and i dont know if he feels the same way for me? we always hanging together going to parties , chilling at the movies but should i tell him how i feel for him? i dont want to mess up our friendship too aw what should i do? (link)
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Well, if I had to guess I would say there is a very good chance he is in the same predicament you are! If he is choosing you to hang out with and go to movies and parties with then he obviously enjoys your company and it would seem he prefers it to going out and finding a girlfriend to do these things with. With a friend like this you should be able to ask him anything. Just say "Is there a girl in your life that you have special feelings for?" If he says yes then you can pretty well bet it's you since you seem to be the only girl he is hanging with. If he won't say it's you then ask "Is it me? Because I would be very happy if it is."That should remove all doubt.Good luck!
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