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feedback for my peom about cuttin, burning and bruising myself.
i dont like to whine,but cut myself burn myself bruise myself am bullied and have depression and i wrote this poem about it and ive suffered with self harm for about 4 years and i would like to have feedback on whether or not its any good....sorry there sad
Words hurt
and no razor can take that away from me
my sleeves were
once white but now stained red
the truth burns
more than any match can tell
i hide
behind the blood and the bruises
i worry that
some day someone will see through me
and ill have to face the scars
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Uncle John ....From England ( Coventry ) Lets get to the point , Like your poem but have modified it ( Can you play guitar ? If not I will help you ).................................Lets try your fantastic poem and change it to a Bob Dylan song.......The chords I give you are not correct but it will give you a good start :
No razor can take my pain away
My sleeves were white now they are red
I cant take any more of life am sure
the bruise on my cheek
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind
I am 63 years of age love my wife and have 4 Grand children.....Just fell on this site .....Your poetry reached me but you have to put it to song............Can you obtain a guitar ? It is quite easy to learn what I have adjusted ...A
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Make no mistake, you ARE a poet! I recognize this because I am also a poet and have read poetry for many, many years. You have talent. The downside of being a poet is that we feel things deeply. As you already know the world gets to see a totaly different person from the one you really are inside. Sensitive people often withdraw into themselves taking their intense pain with them in an effort to shield themselves from further hurt. You already know by now this doesn't work but it's the best you've got right now. Please listen carefully to what I am about to say. You can release these feelings through your poetry WITHOUT harming yourself! As soon as these feelings come to you WRITE, WRITE, WRITE! You are VERY talented! Your words are on fire! The kids who are picking on you today will be the grown-ups who will brag about having known you in school when you become a well known writer! I don't want to give you the same old counseling speech but it IS the thing to do right now, ok? There's no shame in it and nothing bad will happen. A good therapist will just teach you some coping skills for when things get out of control. Your writing is truly awesome. Try to write on some other subjects that you would feel comfortable showing in public. If you are still in school enlist the help of a teacher you feel comfortable with. You have very bright future ahead of you! Good luck and keep writing!
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The poem is a very good one.
But more importantly, have you sought therapy?
I don't know, or pretend to know what you have gone through in life. But I do know that there are people that are there to help you, without judging you.
You can confidentially seek professional help through a therapist, councilor (both available through schools), a psychiatrist, or psychologist.
You can go to your family doctor and they can refer you, or you can go to your school and ask to speak to someone.
Again, this is perfectly normal and you will not be judged. Just remember that things have a way of getting better!
In regards to the poem, once again, it's very deep. Good work.
Good luck! :)
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