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Is my guy friend using me to get to know my friend better?
Note: I am a 16 year old female. All people mentioned are also my age.
I've been friends with a guy for 3 years, through the end of elementary through to high school. I've always been his "advice columnist", offering him help with girls and problems he would have. Like any other friend would do. Last year, I made friends with a really nice girl, and us three ended up in a group project together at school. Immediately after the first class, where we brainstormed, he told me that he liked my friend. He asked for my help to get him closer to her. It was great because my friend (the girl) told me that she thought he was cute as well. So I got them to talk more, and then they found out each other's feelings with some help from me.
A couple of weeks went by swimmingly, but then the girl told me she lost her feelings for him. My guy friend didn't let go, even when I told him truthfully months later that she had a serious crush on someone else. Eventually my friend had to personally turn him down.
Fast forward to the beginning of this year. He got a girlfriend, and they seem very compatible. Fast forward to summer. His 6 month anniversary is coming up. He occasionally asked me to help him be friends with my friend.
I had my birthday party a few days ago. Just a small party with 5 of my closest friends. As soon as I told the guy that the girl (who I am still close with) was attending, he jumped aboard. I'm sure he cared for my actual birthday, but I found that he flirted a lot with my friend, and even left the party 10 seconds after she did.
Even after the party he joked about how he was attracted to her whenever she's near. Then he said that he wanted him, the girl, and I to be close friends. He reminds me of this wish in many of our conversations. He mentions her often saying he wants to be close friends with her.
It's been going on for a while, and maybe I'm being paranoid, but I feel like he's now using me to get closer to my friend. We talk about other things, of course, and we talk a lot, but he mentions my friend, more so after the party. I'm afraid that he, or my friend, and/or his girlfriend will get hurt if I don't stop his seemingly lingering affections for my friend. Plus, I have suspicions of my own.
So I'm sorry for the length of this question, but I'd like to have some peace of mind. What do you think about the situation?
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Wow,this poor guy has it bad for your friend! I am guessing part of the attraction is due to the fact that she is unavailable. Guys love the thrill of the chase! You are really caught in the middle of this one! If your guy friend cheats with your girlfriend then you will feel guilty about the current girlfriend! I think you need to sit him down for a good heart to heart. Tell him you are concerned about him still having feelings for your friend since he has moved on with someone else. You should also tell him that you are feeling a bit used and you don't want to be caught in the middle of this situation. Give him a chance to come clean. Maybe the talk will make him see how hopeless the situation really is and that he is in danger hurting his current girlfriend very badly. Good luck to you, I am sure this will all work out!
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