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Hi! At this point, I'm just checking back when asked a question. When my life gets less hectic, I'll start browsing to find questions to answer. But please ask; I will answer within 24 hours.

advice

ok i'm a teenager and least year i almost commited suicide over a guy i really liked and this year i've been thinking about my father (i have never met him andi really want to know more about him and accually meet him) and my mother will not tell me anything and earlyer today i was ready to write a couples of letters to my family and friends saying how much i love them and stuff like that nad i was ready to take a couples of different strong pills and kill myself but then i stopped and called up the guy i almost killed myself over and i asked him what he thinks other people and himself would feel if i killed myself or died and he said that he would be really upset cuz we went out a couple of times and we've been in each others lives for a long time and he said that he wouldn't know what to do with out me but i don't know i just can't handle all this so someone please tell me what i should do cuz i just feel like takin my life

http://suicidehotlines.com/ lists hotlines by state.

1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433) is easy to remember, and hopefully nationwide.

I know it sounds hypocritical of me to tell you that suicide is not the answer, since I've attempted several times, but it really isn't.

Something my friends have done for me: can you call your grandmother on the phone and tell her that life is so horrible that you have to kill yourself? If you can't do that - if you can't discuss why your death is the best option with people who love you - than your probably depressed and need to speak with a medical professional to get help.

Something I've been led to believe since my last suicide attempt is that each person effects others in ways they never guessed - and that many of those interactions are positive ones. Your no exception. You have a positive influence on the world.

Being a teenager is hard. You need someone to talk to. Someone who is there to squeeze your hand or smile at you or maybe even give you a hug if your comfortable with that. Older family members, clergy, and councilors are all good options. For emergencies, try using a suicide hotline.

Good luck.

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how do i go about teaching what i need without
offeding him'

Since this is in the sex category, I assume you mean "how do I explain to my lover what fulfills my sexual needs?"

Some ideas for getting communication started:
* talk dirty
* if talking is too difficult at first, try sending a "love" letter. If that's still too hard at first, practice with tame things like "I can't wait to feel your arms around me" or "I miss your sweet kisses" and try to put something a little more explicit in each time.
* find a picture of something you would like to do and leave it in a private spot with a note that says something like "can't wait to see you again".
* don't fake it when it doesn't feel good. if it hurts, make sure he knows - either pull away, go "ouch!", or do the "baby, don't hurt me like that" thing
* When something feels good, respond positively. Feedback is good. :)

Another option is to take charge yourself. Some lovers will like it, some won't, but hopefully yours will let you know one way or another and you can use that to open up a dialog.

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how many fingers do i use to finger my self? because i want it to feel good but i dont want it to hert? how many???

Start with one. Like most things, starting small is good. :)

Other bits of advice:
* make sure your fingernails are trimmed short and smooth. You don't want to scratch your insides by accident.
* wash your hands before and after - including under the nails.
* stimulate yourself in other ways until your "wet" before inserting anything - or use lube.

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