I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172970
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and then after gymnastics im going to the moviesss with a guy a i likee so what if it leaks there.!!?? AHH ADVICE
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Okay. Simply bring a fresh pad or two with you - you should be doing this anyway. When you get to the movies, go to the bathroom and put on a new pad before you go into the movie.
Once you get used to pads you'll see how long you can wear them before needing to change, but no matter how heavy your flow is, a new pad right before a movie will be enough. Plus, you'll just be sitting still, so that means there's nowhere for the blood to go but on the pad.
Good luck.
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ok im a girl and homophobic. but not scared of gays but im scared of lesbians. am i still homophobic or what? i dont hate them or anything but i just get scared of them. and is being homophobic is bad?
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Homophobia has a pretty wide-ranging definition, but a lot of it is about prejudice based on someone else's sexuality.
You having a fear of a group of people, merely based on one general shared characteristic, does make you homophobic. The good thing is that you don't need to stay that way - and why would you want to? People are individuals and should be judged accordingly, rather than lumped into categories.
It might be helpful for you to think about what emotions are trigged when you think about lesbians - why do you suppose you might feel fear? How do you think you might lessen this fear?
It could simply be that it's a fear of the unknown. It's great that you seem to have an open mind and are willing to question your beliefs.
Living in fear of people who are all around you (you probably know lesbians without even realising it) means that you are closing yourself off from possible great people, who might make excellent friends. Keep your mind open and reflective, and maybe you'll manage to gain a different perspective on your fear and how to manage it.
I wish you the best.
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okay so this morning i went to the bathroom (good thing i did) because i realized that i just got my period. and i had to tell my parents- how embarrassing right. and my dad didnt believe me but then im like YES. dad i got it. so hes like trying to give me my moms like jumbo sized im like NO. so i didnt go to school. and good thing i didnt because i have the BIGGEST flow. its the MOST disgusting thing i have EVER experienced. and my mom WONT get me pads. but i talked her into it so i think shes going to get me pads later today. and i have GYMNASTICS tonight and we do like splits and flips and stuff and like its going to be so SOO uncomfortable and what if i freakin leak all over the place. EWW. i actaully have it two times a week so.. i really need advice on just like everything. im NOT talking to my mom about it cuz shes just a freak. (link)
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Well, you're right in thinking that all pads are not jumbo sized. In fact, there are pads designed for heavy periods (like yours) that are so thin you barely notice you're wearing them. As this is your first period, it might take you awhile to get used to the sensation, but after a few months you won't even notice it anymore.
Gymnastics might be tricky. Thin pads with wings might be best, as the wings would make sure the pad stayed where it was supposed to no matter how much twisting, turning, or flipping you do. Many females choose to wear tampons when they engage in sports, but that's something totally up to you.
It might be helpful for you to mark this day down on your calender, perhaps by circling it. You might also want to write (or make up a code) that it's been a heavy flow day. If you do this throughout your first years of periods, it can help you recognise any patterns - and therefore help you to be better prepared. It's normal to have a heavy flow the first day or two, and then it will slow down.
Periods can be anywhere from three to seven days, depending on the individual. It might take you awhile to become regular, as your body is flooded with new hormones. This means you might get your period every few months, or just really sporadically. Some people are regular right from the start, though.
If worst comes to worst, put on one of your mom's pads and go to the store to choose your own! There are loads to choose from it might take you a few goes to find a brand and style you're happy with.
Not sure what else you might want advice on period-wise, so if I've missed something or you've still got confusion, drop another question into my inbox.
Best of luck!
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14/f. ok, well i've had my period before, but every stinkin time i have it i ALLWAYS get blood in my underwear. i'm running out of underwear!!! i'm not comftrable telling my mom that the blood gets in my uderwear, but i'm down to about only 5 pairs. idk what to do!! help!! (link)
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Okay. You CAN wash underwear with blood on, and it's likely to come out - if it's washed fairly quickly. Another wonderful home remedy is rinsing your panties out in cold water as soon as you notice there's blood on them. This cold water and a little friction will usually be able to get all the blood out if it's done quickly enough.
Now, in order to prevent this happening in the first place, think about when this happens. Are you caught off guard when it starts? If so, it might be helpful to circle on the calender when your period is due, and you can wear a pad or pantyliner just in case.
If it's happening during your period, you may want to consider special pads with wings. These wrap around the side of your underwear to protect it from stray blood.
If you wear tampons, you may want to consider also wearing a pantyliner to catch any blood that the tampon doesn't get.
I wish you the best.
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I was masturbating earlier and I felt that there was a piece of hair inside. I tried getting it out of course (I even made sure it IS a pubic hair) but I ended up pushing it deeper (or I don't know, it just got lost). As a result, I even think I've irritated/scraped off the vaginal walls, and I think I made myself bleed a little. To top it off, it's not the start of my period yet. Would any of these - the stray hair still inside, chapped vaginal walls, the little bleeding - pose a mild or serious trouble for me? (link)
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Skin is skin - and your vaginal skin will need a chance to heal before you put anything up there again. To be rough with the skin while it's healing could aggravate any scrapes or tears, and make things take longer to heal.
This in itself should not cause a problem. If bleeding continues, or you begin to experience pain or anything unusual, though, you'll want to see your doctor.
The hair isn't going to do any harm either (aside from annoying you because you know it's there). It will most likely come out without you even noticing.
I wish you the best.
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ok so i have a problem i REAALLLLY like this boy named damon... and he works with my brother.... and he goes to my school he is on the varsity basketball team... and he just broke up with his girlfriend.... but the problem is i feel like an idiot if i talk to him... and it just seems like im gonna make a fool of myself and i cant ever think of anything to talk to him about.... i am a girl and im 15 and he is a boy and is 16... he is in my grade and i see him alot in the halls.... and i help out the varsity basketball coach so i see him even more then if i didnt.... and ive even gotten so desperate as to talk to the coach about him.... but he just says that i need to talk to him but i just cant ever think of anything to say without thinking to myself that i am stupid.... PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
and he is this "popular" guy so that makes me feel like even more of an idiot but i really really really like him and no one can seem to help me!!!! and i was hoping that i would b going out with him by valentines day but that isnt gonna happen so (link)
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You're in a really good situation, believe it or not. Damon works with your brother. You help out with his basketball team. Those are two opportunities to see or talk to him that are great as they are very casual and genuine.
Unfortunately, you will need to talk to him. Otherwise, how are you ever going to build a friendship or relationship?
Fortunately, research has shown that people are apt to be more positive feeling towards a person they see regularly, even if they've never talked.
Why not drop by to see your brother at work one day and give Damon a friendly smile? Why not speak to him about something basketball related, perhaps something that is related to the work you do for the team?
At the very least, smile and say 'hi' when you pass him in the hallway. You've got nothing to lose in any of these scenarios, as you aren't declaring your undying love - or doing anything else that could mortify you. Remember, it's okay and normal to feel nervous on the inside, and your outsides might look more calm than you think.
If you're really into this guy, build up your nerves! Think of what you have to gain by talking to him, versus what you'll lose if you don't. Whether this works out or not, it's excellent practice for the next time you want to speak to a cute guy.
I wish you the very best.
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waht is it?
does it smell?
how do you get it?
ciz im scard i might have one
and if it involves being sexual. im not. i never let anyone touch me down there
but it smells like yuck even when i dont have my period...and if its not a yeast infection is tehre any creams that wont irritate it that will take the smell away? (link)
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A yeast infection is an itchy and irritating infection in your vagina. You can have it without ever having had sex.
Yeast infections can cause an unusual odour, itching, burning, or discharge. This discharse is usually thick and white.
These can also be symptoms of other problems, so while yeast infections are actually very easy to treat, it's best to see a doctor so he/she can confirm this is what you've got.
They are quite common - most every woman will experience at least one in her lifetime. Your doctor should be able to tell quite quickly if this is the problem, and advise you in how to treat it. While there are home remedies, these are only effective for yeast infections and if that's not what's going on for you, they will not help at all.
The smell could be a result of the discharge or yeast infection, so if you cure the problem you'll get rid of the symptom.
Best of luck.
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Okay, I'm 17/m and have a beautiful girlfriend that I've even promised to merry(sp?). Anyways, I have a friend that I was talking to, 15/f, and we got into a discussion. This discussion was about sex, we were talking and she asked me what I was thinking about. This was kind of weird because she usually can assume what it is. She kept wanting to know and then she asked me to email her my fantasies that I have about her. I hate to say this but I do have fantasies about her as well as my gf and sometimes all three of us. I know most of you think thats sick but were all young and young people do stupid things. Anyways, I'm scared and don't know what to do. Should I give into temptation and reveal my fantasies or keep them to myself? Is this feeling unnatural? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooo confused!
Thank you.
P.S. Me and my gf are perfectly happy with each other. We never fight, we love each other to death. We've been going out for 1 year. (link)
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Fantasies are normal; people of every age have them. Thinking about sex with other people is not the terrible betrayal to your relationship, but acting on them is.
This girl is clearly trying to take you into territory you will want to avoid if you want to maintain a happy relationship with your girlfriend. Talking about your fantasies with this other girl is telling intimate things to someone other than your girlfriend, and she probably wouldn't be pleased if she knew it was going on.
Telling this girl the fantasies may also open the door to further emails, conversations, or even actions. If you're looking to hook up with this girl, go ahead...but if you are serious about your girlfriend, better to keep those thoughts in your own head.
I wish you the best.
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What EXACTLY IS a vibrator? And what does it really do and what's its purpose? lol...I'm 15/f...and I don't even know these things. :P (link)
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Okay. A dildo is a penis-shaped toy, usually made of sillicone, that can be used during masturbation or sex.
A vibrator is the same thing, except that it vibrates. They usually have a spot for batteries on the inside, though some plug directly into the wall.
While some women put the vibrator inside their vagina, most use it on the outside to stimulate their clitoris.
Some people love them, some hate them. It's a personal choice.
I wish you the best.
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if a girl and a boy both wear a condom, doesnt that make it way likely yuo cant get pregnant? or can you not wear both (link)
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The male and female condom should NOT be worn at the same time, for the exact reason 2 male condoms should not be worn simultaneously.
Wearing two condoms means they will be rubbing against each other. This friction can cause one or both to break.
You are much more protected from pregnancy by only using one condom, whether it's male or female.
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when i got married , my wife had periods and i did first intercourse with her inspite of that the periods r coming. i felt that my wife had no any pain & also not seen blood. is my wife was virgin?? (link)
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Many women do not bleed the first time they have sex, or if they do it's such a small amount that it's almost unnoticeable.
If your wife states she is a virgin, why not believe her? Trust and communication are hugely important in every relationship, and it's not the strongest start to married life to be doubting her already.
I wish you the best.
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What does it mean to be in heat? Sometimes as I joke i hear people say "oh she's gonan do it i can see she's in heat". whatever that means, can't you have sex without being "in heat"? (link)
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'In heat' technically refers to animals. During certain parts of the menstrual cycle, female animals are likely to initiate sex - this is because in evolutionary terms, these are times when the female is most likely to get pregnant.
When this term is applied to a human female, it simply means whoever is saying is thinks that female is sexually aroused. Of course, there's no way for people to tell that about random girls.
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So i know when a girl/guy has a cold sore and they give another girl/guy head they can/will give them herpes. But i was wondering if its the same with canker sores. Because i have like 5 canker sores in my mouth and i dont wanna give my boyfriend head if it can give him herpes. So do you know if giving someone head when you have canker sores can give them herpes like cold sores can?
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Canker sores are not the same as herpes. In fact, they are not a 'disease' in the normal sense at all. There is no conclusive evidence of what causes them, but many contributory factors. They are quite common, and most people will have one (or more!) sometime in their life.
Canker sores are also not contagious, so you can't give them to your boyfriend.
One thing to note - they ARE an open wound, and this can make it much more likely for YOU to contract an STD/STI from giving your boyfriend oral sex. If he has not recently tested as negative for STDs, then you may want to rethink the risk you are taking.
I wish you the best.
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Why do guys get wet dreams? Like this one guy i know has been dating a girl for two years and he has been having wet dreams about me? (link)
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Wet dreams are the body's way of discharging extra semen. They are also a natural response to a sexy dream!
No one actively controls the content of their dreams, and it's impossible to accurately interpret another person's unconscious. The only person who might have an idea about his feelings is this guy.
It's entirely possible that he's happy with his girlfriend, and you're just a handy brain fantasy.
I might question why he feels the need to tell you he is having wet dreams about you - this might indicate that he's trying to tell you he's attracted to you. If this is something you don't want to pursue, then you may want to steer him away from this topic in future.
I wish you the best.
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is there any way when you have sex on your period you can smell absoultly horrible afterwards? (link)
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I suppose it depends on your definition of 'absolutely horrible.'
If you are smelling your normal scent you have when you've got your period, then that's normal.
If you are smelling something above and beyond that, then there could be a problem. If your partner is female, there is unlikey to be a problem as she will not be mixing fluids with you. If your partner is male, the smell might be his sperm. (This is if you are using a form of birth control other than condoms.)
If sperm is particularly funky smelling, it can indicate that something is not quite right with the guy. It would be in his best interests to see a doctor.
Of course, when you combine blood, semen, and sweat, you may just be likely to be smelling much stronger than you usually would.
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okay ive recently gone vegetarian.
i used to masturbate maybe once every one to two weeks. now, i cant seem to go 2 days without masturbating.
i know masturbation is healthy but im still very scared about it being a sin and if my friends do because if they dont i feel like im messed up or something.
what should i do? (link)
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I'm not sure what the vegetarianism has to do with masturbating. It should not have had a big effect on your sex drive.
The increase in your urges could be due to a number of things, like where you are in your menstrual cycle. With the fluctuation of hormones comes an increase in sexual appetite for many women. It could also be that you are just getting older and feeling more sensual.
Masturbation is a normal and healthy response to sexual urges. It's also the safest sex you can have - no worries of consequences, after all. Most people masturbate at some point in their lives, and many masturbate throughout their lives.
You need to worry more about your own ideas about what feels right for you, rather than comparing yourself to your friends. I will say that many of your friends probably feel very similarly, but each of them will have to work out how they feel emotionally.
In my opinion, which I share with medical professionals, you're not messed up. You're a normal, healthy teenager. Masturbation is a good way to enjoy your body, and an excellent way to learn about what pleases you. This can help you in the future if you decide to have sex with a partner.
I wish you the best.
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14/f
I dont want any stuff like "omg you're wayy to young" "wait a year" because i dont wanna hear it.
So heres the deal, me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months. tonight we tried having sex for the first time, notice the word tried. We arent allowed to in the first place so it was a little hard. He brought a condom. So we made out did foreplay, that kind of stuff, foreplay was rushed, we had a limited amount of time. He put the condom on and his penis started like geting unerected. So we were sitting there trying to get it into me. Didnt work. So he takes the condom off and I give him head again. He puts the condom on. And his penis get unerected. Well, this happened 3 times all together and by then I was pissed. So his penis wouldnt go in, I wasnt wet enough, and it kept getting unerected.
So my questions are...
Is this normal?
Has this happened to anyone before?
Why do you think it did that?
Please help me
Sorry it was so long
thank you :) (link)
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Okay, first let's get the safe sex stuff out of the way. It's not safe to reuse condoms - even if he has not had an orgasm. Once the condom comes off his penis, throw it away and use a NEW one every time.
Erection problems can be emotional or physical. Emotional ones could include not feeling ready to have sex, being worried about the added responsibility sex brings (like worrying about pregnancy), or just not being in the right frame of mind.
Serious, ongoing physical problems are not common in guys of this age. The lesser problems might be as simple as the rushed situation - not taking enough time for him to feel really aroused. And if you're not wet (and you get wet, say, by normal messing around or masturbation), then your body isn't ready for sex, either.
You'll both need to find a time and place that offer you more privacy and a more relaxed atmosphere. I understand that can be difficult at your age, but it's very worthwhile. Sex is certainly not at its best when you're worried about being caught or in a race against time.
I wish you both the best.
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me and my ex went out for a year and 5 months and broke up for a stupid reason. we were an on and off couple but not a bad one.. anyway. when we broke up he got a new girlfriend that i totally hate now and hes only dating her cus he tried to get over me.. and it didnt work. hes still coming over and kissing me and telling me he loves me and hugging me. but he says he loves her and crap. we even had sex.. but ahh i dont know does he really love me or is he using me? (link)
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You need to have a chat with this guy. If he's only dating her to get over you, and you're still readily available, then why's he still with her? The fact that he's told you he loves her is a big red flag.
Right now this guy is basically seeing two girls. This is not fair to either you or his new girlfriend - or him. You need to think carefully about what you want.
If you want something exclusive, then you are going to need to make that very clear to him. Once he knows where you stand, he can make a choice - but don't forget that you've got a choice to make as well.
Do you want to be with someone who can cheat on his girlfriend, as he is doing with this girl? Do you want to be with someone who will not commit to you?
He's either really confused or really manipulative, and neither are a great help to someone who wants an open, honest, and genuine relationship.
I wish you the best.
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Hi, Im am 15 years old and 120 pounds. I had unprotected sex 2 days ago, and I was wondering my chances of pregnancy. I have been on the pill for a month now, and I know it is very effective in preventing pregnancy. My concern is that I was on the plecebo or "blank" pills while I had unprotected sex so I wasnt technecally on the hormonal pills. I start the hormonal pill in 1 day. I have been very good about taking the pill at the same time everyday, and I have only missed one day the entire month. also, It was around 2 days after I had my period. I would like to know what my chances of pregnancy. There was no form of birth control except that I had been on the pill for a month (ie no pull out method) (link)
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The pill is not considered fully effective until AFTER you have been on it a full month. Missing one day's pill can mess things up, so make sure you keep a copy of the instructions to look at. They usually will offer clear and detailed info about what to do if you miss a pill.
Once you are established on the pill, you are over 99% protected from an unwanted pregnancy (assuming you take it the same time, every day). This protection is ongoing, even if you are on a placebo day.
Your option now is to wait and see if your period comes. If it does not, you'll want to take a pregnancy test. Chances are small you are pregnant, but I can understand why you are worried.
I wish you the best.
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I woke up this morning to the sound of yelling, it was my parents...again. they always argue about money and everything. my mom is tired of how my dad threatens to leave and she told him to just go. he said he was going to pack his S*** up and leave...whats going to happen? my moms disabled and we only get 500 a month from her pay and my bro sends 600 a month for watching his daughters. if my dad does leave there will be 5 people in the house...what are we going to do about money? (link)
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If your dad were to leave, he would be responsible for paying your mom to take care of yourself and any brothers or sisters you have - if you are under 18. This payment often extends throughout your college years if you are a full time student.
Likewise, your mother might be entitled to a payment from him called 'alimony.'
Money is a stressful thing, and it's understandable you are worried about it. But this is something that would be sorted out between your parents' lawyers, and you wouldn't be expected to offer any advice or guidance about this topic.
Your mother would have to realistically look at how much money is coming in - and going out of - the household each month. Budgets are great things for people on any sort of income to get to grips with living within their means.
In the meantime, take care of yourself. A threatened divorce can be a scary, stressful, or emotional thing. Make sure you've got some way to relieve your anxiety - journelling, painting, writing poetry, etc.
I wish you the best.
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