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shrinking! wouldnt go in! oh plz help me!
14/f
I dont want any stuff like "omg you're wayy to young" "wait a year" because i dont wanna hear it.
So heres the deal, me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months. tonight we tried having sex for the first time, notice the word tried. We arent allowed to in the first place so it was a little hard. He brought a condom. So we made out did foreplay, that kind of stuff, foreplay was rushed, we had a limited amount of time. He put the condom on and his penis started like geting unerected. So we were sitting there trying to get it into me. Didnt work. So he takes the condom off and I give him head again. He puts the condom on. And his penis get unerected. Well, this happened 3 times all together and by then I was pissed. So his penis wouldnt go in, I wasnt wet enough, and it kept getting unerected.
So my questions are...
Is this normal?
Has this happened to anyone before?
Why do you think it did that?
Please help me
Sorry it was so long
thank you :)
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I'm a guy and this happened to me...i was (and still am) 14. I had never EVER had any problems with getting erections before that moment...I mean NO problems. Quite the opposite...lol. But if you are suddenly really nervous, this can happen. I barely got it in her... you're so tight as a virgin that it's hard to get it in even with a rock-hard erection. Then once it starts to go badly, its more nerve racking and you lose it even more...and if she yelps in pain a little bit, you lose it even more...so you've got to take it slowly and try to make sure you're going to have a long time without interuptions.
If you can get that far, staying calm and focused until he gets it in, then the sensation is so great that it gets very hard again immediately and you're all set.
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I'm sure the fact you were both rushed, scared to death because of this being the first time, and worried about something going wrong played big factors in why he kept losing his erection. Don't let it bother you. If you still decide you both want this, try making the first time a little more special. Wait until your both alone, free of unwanted visitors, and allow time for more foreplay. This should help ease the nerves a little, and allow for a better first time.
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Okay, first let's get the safe sex stuff out of the way. It's not safe to reuse condoms - even if he has not had an orgasm. Once the condom comes off his penis, throw it away and use a NEW one every time.
Erection problems can be emotional or physical. Emotional ones could include not feeling ready to have sex, being worried about the added responsibility sex brings (like worrying about pregnancy), or just not being in the right frame of mind.
Serious, ongoing physical problems are not common in guys of this age. The lesser problems might be as simple as the rushed situation - not taking enough time for him to feel really aroused. And if you're not wet (and you get wet, say, by normal messing around or masturbation), then your body isn't ready for sex, either.
You'll both need to find a time and place that offer you more privacy and a more relaxed atmosphere. I understand that can be difficult at your age, but it's very worthwhile. Sex is certainly not at its best when you're worried about being caught or in a race against time.
I wish you both the best.
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Everything everyone has said so far is totally correct. and to add, I would say that if you're not wet enough that means you're not into it so why do it? but if you're gonna do it anyway then I suggest getting some lubricant to make the process easier on him and you. KY is the most common brand and please, please, please don't try skipping the condom to see if that works.
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well, i will not tell you that you are too young..
you are unexperienced, as is he, i lost my virginity to my husband, and both of us were virgins, the first night that we tired was a complete disaster. we couldn't get the rythm down, he had anxiety and couldn't perform, etc.
the next few times that we tried it got better, and better and now, no complaints :)
your boyfriend had performance anxiety. next time you try you need to allow a lot of time to "do the deed". having sex is not a race to the finish line; and it doesn't have a set amount of time. don't be in such a rush next time... take it slow and easy let it evolve instead of rushing it, or pushing for it. it can get irritating, but some of the best things in life are worth waiting for, so next time just make sure that you are comfortable and have a lot of time to spend together in privacy before you try again.
I would say "good luck", but that seems weird to be saying that to a 14 year old trying to have sex; oh well.
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Yes this is normal. There are a few different reasons but it's probably because he's nervous especially if it's his first time. Plus with the added amount of pressure of keeping it hard after he messed up the first time will just add to it. That's my guess, he just needs to try to relax, or steal gramp's viagra. :-/
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Rushing and sex don't make a very good combination.
In dealing with a guy who is close to your age, it is quite possible he came the minute he put the condom on. Young guys are not very practiced in not doing so. However, you probably would have known it had that happened.
Its not really normal but then you were rushed. He may have been thinking you would get caught and that would be a real turn off. Fear and sex don't go together to well either.
Now, I am in no way advocating your having sex, I do think you are to young (Hey I'm a grandmother, I gotta say it.) But if you do, make sure it is someplace you won't be walked in on and don't rush it. And way to go on using a condom, very smart. Never think it is OK to do it once without, OK? :)
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