|
Abusive relationship advice
I have recently broke up with my bf after like a year, and I dunno how to feel. Sometimes I am really good, others I am so depressed I cant stop crying, I keep on seeing things that remind me of him, or hear songs or certain places that wind me up. I try to go out and get my head of things,but itsnot happening.
He had self-harm issues. There where a few occasions when he never got his way (For example, if I talked flirtaciously with a friend of mine, refused to speak to him because we where argueing) that he would cut, bite or hurt himself. Sometimes he even performed these things infront of me, and at times threatened to kill himself.
He was also rather violent towards me. He spat in my face a few times, grabbed my side so hard that it bruised entirely, punched me because he was being cheeky, so I was cheeky back,we knocked the hell outta each other twice (the first time I wanted to go home, he pushed me, screamed in my ear, shook me and wouldnt let me go, so I defended myself, the second I ended up in hospital with a black eye, it started becasue he punched me. I hit him back, AND HE PHONED THE POLICE), He full scale booted me infront off his best mate when we went camping, becasue I spoke to his friend and not to him cus where argueing, threatned to smash a mirror over my face and tried to burn my face with GHD straighteners, again,becasue I wanted to go home as things where getting too much. He also pushed me oncewhen I touched his facewith wax byaccident and I fellout the door. He hated me going out by myself without him, and mademe feel guiltyall the time, and unless I texted him throughout the night, would start an arguemtn the day after. He also went nuts at me for watching on porn my computer, but doesnt everyone, lol? He put me down an awful lot, calling my stupied or pathetic, even typing the words hurts.
He blamed me for his actions, casue I drove him crazy etc. He has trust issues. I didnt tell him bout talking to my ex, as he would get the wrong end of the stick, and told him it was weird seeing him with anohter person (when I saw him for the first time after the split), but we did talk, not bout us, just bout the youth club we both attended. I made up a few wee fibs, bout sleeping with someone he used to like and I didnt tell him my true a level grades, casue he was so smart and I felt daft on our first date.But helied bout weesilly things too and they didnt annoy me. The first time he grabbed meand hurt me was when I was honest to him bout not sleeping with the guy and talking to Andi. But after that, its hard to turst anyone who hurts you, took me a few days to realise what he did to me was wrong. I confided in my friends about some of the things that happened and he went MAD at me,but you need to talk, and he washard to talk with with that temper.
But we are broke up now and things are hard. He did treat me bad. But its hard for me. I wanted to help himin the way I couldnt my brother (who commitedsuicide a few years ago). And now I have to go out each week and face him in the one gay bar that we have, its so hard. How doya get over something like this, I miss him so much at times it hurts. And hes always in town as well wheich makesit harder,.
ADVICE!!!!!!
P.S...I am gay btw!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Advice? You are addicted to drama and violence, or else you would not pick a person like this to be with. If you were uncomfortable with a person like this, you would go nowhere near him. Ask yourself if you could introduce him to your family and friends and be proud. There is something in you that is drawn to an unhealthy, dangerous, disfunctional situation. I would forget him, and reinvent my life with positive people and goals. Your feelings (or cravings) will subside if you stay strong, and believe you can have a better life. It's up to YOU to give that to yourself.
]
...OOOOOOKKKKKKK, lets make matters worse
My brother went into his work and told his mates behind the counter
"Where is he? Yeah the blonde spiky one with the spots all over his face! You tell him from me his exs bro isnt too happy and is coming back for him!"
LIKE OMG! Kinda told me mum he bitched non-stop about the family, and she musta passed the word along. Think hes annoyed as he invited him up for boxing day dinner andhe insulted him and his wife.
This is SOOO not my fault! I wanna go out on sat as well, and so is he, ya think itsbadfor me to go so soon? X
]
sometimes it feels good to just write down the actions that took place, and your feelings and perception on what happened... it helps to go back and read it again... and it seems to just solidify your emotions...
I think that you are a brave individual with all that you have survived in that relationship... it seems to me that your ex has a lot of emotional inbalances. he is dealing heavily with something that he can not control or get over, and you can not help him, no matter what you thought or did to try...
he needs something more; he needs counseling.
it is hard sometimes to step back from someone you loved, someone who loved and hurt you so deeply... it is hard to step back and realize that there was nothing you could have done to help him, he needs to help himself now.
i hope that you can overcome your hurt, and that you walk away from that situation with the knowledge and experience to help others that you love in the future, and that above all else that you love yourself enough to know when to know when to fight for someone you love, and when you need to say "no" to the abuse, control, and the hurt. i hope you find happiness, and the strength that you need right now.
]
See a counselor. He mentally, emotionally & physically hurt you. Not to mention your brother is dead & you have the guilt because you couldn't help him.
]
Okay, that's just scary. That's being way too abusive, for no apparent reason, and I`m sorry if you still have feelings for him, but, he needs to see a specialist to deal with his anger. I also think you need to avoid him as much as possible, in case he tries to hurt you. Talk to someone about getting him help, because he's been or has hurt you, and that's not right. I understand that it's going to be hard to get over him, but try engaging in activities or other groups that won't interfere with him or his other activities. Hope all goes well.
]
More Questions: |