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my ex? what should i do
me and my ex went out for a year and 5 months and broke up for a stupid reason. we were an on and off couple but not a bad one.. anyway. when we broke up he got a new girlfriend that i totally hate now and hes only dating her cus he tried to get over me.. and it didnt work. hes still coming over and kissing me and telling me he loves me and hugging me. but he says he loves her and crap. we even had sex.. but ahh i dont know does he really love me or is he using me?
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You need to have a chat with this guy. If he's only dating her to get over you, and you're still readily available, then why's he still with her? The fact that he's told you he loves her is a big red flag.
Right now this guy is basically seeing two girls. This is not fair to either you or his new girlfriend - or him. You need to think carefully about what you want.
If you want something exclusive, then you are going to need to make that very clear to him. Once he knows where you stand, he can make a choice - but don't forget that you've got a choice to make as well.
Do you want to be with someone who can cheat on his girlfriend, as he is doing with this girl? Do you want to be with someone who will not commit to you?
He's either really confused or really manipulative, and neither are a great help to someone who wants an open, honest, and genuine relationship.
I wish you the best.
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I know its hard and your going to have so many memories of him in your life but you have to face the facts. Why isn't he with you if he's hugging and kissing you? He's probably just using you. You need to come out straight forward and tell him its either her or you and if he chooses her you have to be calm about it and understand and not over act. You need to get over him and find someone thats going to treat you better then that. Hope I helped.
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I've experienced this same situation before i met this guy and we hit it off right a way.. Anyway he had a girlfriend and i knew about it but i didnt want to admit it to myself i just kept telling myself he'll leave her one day to be with me...and you want to know what happened finally one day he told me he loved (and i feel head over heels, first guy to tell me he loved me) a few days later he told me he didnt want to be my friend anymore because he thought we were getting to close and he would cheat on his gf with me again (i feel sooooooo terrible that i ever did this now, but i was really young when this happened). Anyway in my point of view i think he may be using you because he feels safe with you. Do you get what im getting at, sometimes its better to stay with someone that is safe rather than moving onto someong that is a challenge. So i believe (no offense)that he is using you until he lives up enough courage to feel safe with this new girl. But maybe im wrong because i dont know the guy but anyway i hope i helped a little..
Hope Things Work Out
~Jess
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i'm sorry that you have found yourself in this situation. i know that you have a lot of memories and history with this man that you could not possibly convey in a single paragraph for complete strangers to disect and comprehend.
you care for him, as i am sure that he cares for. but he is doing something wrong.. stringing 1 if not both of you girls along. he was yours first, and so how do you feel now that you are a second? he is having his cake and eating it too. for me, i would be wondering about him... i'd be thinking that if he feels that comfortable to cheat on his new fling; that maybe he cheated while with you.
i think that he is only going to stick his hand further in that cookie jar, the other girl might not know about it, but you do, and he is just seeing how far you will let him go.
do you want him back? is what you had so great that you can't live without him? if the thought of not being with him hurt so much, then you need to let him know, you need to let him know that you need him all to yourself, and that you want another chance with him... but if he refuses to give up what his got with that other girl then you need to walk away... and you can take solace in the fact that their relationship will not last, if he isn't cheating on her with you then he will find it somewhere else, or it was nothing more then excitement for him and he will tire of her and come running back to you...
the question is not "if he loves you, or if he is stringing you along"... you deserve better, and the real question that needs to be asked is do you know that you deserve better, and what are you going to do about that?
i hope you make the right choice; good luck.
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He's obviously using you.
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you should talk to him. ask him straight out if he`s using you to not. tell him if he really loves you to break up with the other girl and get back with you. if not, tell him to buzz off.
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