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January 23, 2007Answers:
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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
Hey, ok i"ve got a question. Well, one day me and my boyfriend were making out ok and um he said I turned him on. And we talked about it and we both talked about going further so next time we hangout, do you think i should just put his hand by my belly, cause he said if you ever wanted to do anything, put my hand wherever, cause i don't want to feel like im rushing. do you think it'd be ok to just you know...put his hand there and yeah..
p.s. im the one who asked you the first question about this, saying do you think i should, and you said talk to him about it. well, we already did.. so yeha!
thanks alot
That's not talking about it. That's him avoiding your question. You need a straight answer out of him. Say exactly these words "I give you permission to finger me. But I don't want to have sex." THAT is talking about it. Saying what you want and what you don't wanr.
Am I In Love?
Everytime I talk to my boyfriend, my heart races and my knees are just like about to bend, oh wow it's an amazing feeling! and I've never felt this way before! he gives me butterflies, ESPECIALLY when I look in his eyes, oh my gosh! and also, he turns me on, by just touching my arm or something! and no-one has EVER done this to me! I've never felt this way also!
ah, is this love?
because if it is, it is an amazzzzzzzing feeling =]]]]]
I know how you feel! Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for you!
You and you alone are the only one who can decide if you are in love or not. Feelings are hard to interpret. It's kind of something you just learn to do.
Hi, you know how people say "believe in yourself, then you can do it." well, how do you do it? do you just say "I can do this." then it will happen?
i'm so confused, and I hear that sooo much!
so yeah, ty for your help
Basically, I really think that if you believe in yourself, you will probably achieve things. If you don't believe in yourself and are negative, then you won't be able to do anything. Realistically, just believing in yourself isn't enough to achieve your goals, you actually have to get out there and work at it. Talking to yourself and giving yourself pep talks will boost your confidence and might help you do better.
What if I let my boyfriend finger me and he popped my cherry
would I hafe to tell my mom and go to the doctor, or would it be ok?
I've always wondered this, sorry if it's stupid =[
Don't worry. Having your cherry popped is totally normal. You might bleed a little, and you might not, but either way it's nothing serious. If the bleeding doesn't stop for more than a few days, then I would definitely go to the doctor and make sure he didn't scratch you or something.
I moved to a new school this year and i met about
10 new friends and we are all in a group.
But i've got really close with 2 girls from the group ( i'll call them maria and jen )
but maria told me she liked this guy who is sadly in all of her classes. i've known him since 1st grade and honestly, he's really stupid. she only likes him because she thinks he's cute, well he is but thats a different story. Well now shes been going all crazy and saying i need a boyfriend soo badly and i told her it won't go far but she doesn't believe me. she won't stop talking about boys and how bad she wants a boyfriend. its really annoying. i want to keep her as a friend because i love her a lot, but how can i prove to her that this guy isn't right for her? =\
It's just a phase and I'm sure she'll get through it. When she talks about boys and the guy she likes, you don't necessarily have to say that the guy is good for her, you could just be a good friend and say something about how beautiful and smart she is and assure her that she'll get a guy someday. Then you can casually change the subject to something else. Like other columnists have said, she needs to learn from her mistakes. You might think the guy she likes is a jerk, but she's obviously not going to listen to you so just let her learn that on her own.
ok i read this girls website, and she told this girl "when you do situps, breathe every time, or you'll start to get a big pooch"
what does that mean?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pooch
I looked it up on urban dictionary. Apparently it means "rounding of the belly." I have no idea if what the web site said is true or not, though.
So i bought pets yesterday (cause i couldn't get university and nightlife)..but anyway i want to know how to get/ buy the bird//hamster thing. They say you hve the buy the cage but how? how to buy the cage?
And also what caterloge do you get?(they say you can get the bird through a caterlouge?
For the Womrat (hamster):
Go into buy mode and click on the three dot miscellaneous thing and then click on the pet dish. Scroll through the objects until you find the Womrat cage. The cage comes on a little table. Once you place the cage in the house, select the desired sim and then click on the cage. It will say "Restock: $__" I can't remember how much, but that is how you buy one. Select "Restock" and then it will bring you to a menu where you can choose the Womrat you want and name it.
For the bird:
Go into buy mode and click on the three dot miscellaneous thing and then click on the pet dish. Scroll through the objects until you find the bird cage. Once you place the cage in the house, select the desired sim and then click on the cage. It will say "Restock: $400" Select "Restock" and then it will bring you to a menu where you can choose the bird you want and name it.
Once you have the cage filled, make sure your sim checks on it several times a day to fill it's dish and clean out the cage. If you don't, the pet will die.
I want to go further with my boyfriend..well i might see him next weekend and we might go to the movies and go driving around, and well, if we go to the movies, do you think when we makeout, i should just put his handon my belly, and go down to my vagina? or randomly bring it up when we're making out and say "i want to go further." (and i'm talking about fingering)but I think I should tell him first tho, cause i don't want him to feel like he's rushing. he felt like that one time, and i kept telling him, no your not! and yeah,but he told me if i ever wanted to do anything, to put his hands where-ever. so what do you think i should do? im soso sorry this was long!
I think it would be best for you two to talk about how far you are willing to go before you even do anything. It's important to talk about it so both of you can get what you want out of the intimacy while preventing any accidents from happening. If you feel to uncomfortable talking about it, then you're to immature to be doing that stuff anyway.
And just a tip, don't make out at the movies and PLEASE don't let him finger you at the movies. That is disgusting and rude. Think of the people around you. They are there to see a movie; not watch you get it on with your boyfriend. Forgive me if this seems harsh, but it's true. If you want a quiet place to fool around, go park in a field somewhere or go in one of your bedrooms or a basement.
i need to loose about 10lbs.
i don't care how fast.
but how?
If you're busy like me and don't have a lot of time for exercise, you could try cutting a few fattening things out of your diet. You'd be surprised how such a small change can make you lose weight so easily. For the entire summer, I didn't drink ANY pop (not even diet) and I didn't eat french fries or fast food. I ended up losing ten pounds just from doing that. It takes about two weeks to really see results, but it does work.
I'm trying out for my all state choir in two weeks. I'm getting braces in one week. Will the braces affect my singing in any way?
It might alter it might not. It depends on how comfortable they feel in your mouth. The important thing is to practice practice practice as soon as you get them. As long as you do that, you'll have adjusted by the time you audition.
I personally have had braces, so I know what it's like. Don't worry, they won't give you a lisp because they will be on the front of your teeth where they won't interfere with your tongue. I'm sure you'll still be able to sing just fine.
Good luck!
ok well when im with my boyfriend..and he can just hug me or even touch me or put his arm around me and i get turned on, and it feels "wet" down there. well, if we went to the movies and cuddled a bit, and madeout, i'm sure i'd get turn on..well what if he felt that i was wet do you think he'd think it'd be gross? or do you think it would be awesome to know that he can do anything to turn me on? =]
so sorry if this is confusing.
I'm sure your guy will absolutely LOVE the fact that he can turn you on! Guys need their ego stroke just as much as girls do, meaning that he'll be pleased to know that he can please you! If he thought you being wet was gross, then he wouldn't make out with you or anything. If he DOES think it's gross, then he's too immature to be doing those things anyway.
:)
I want to give my boyfriend a hickey, but I feel like I don't know how? Everyone says just suck on the neck, well, I tried on my arm, and I don't think i can do it.
and how long do you think it will go away if he gave me one? because i got one before..and it lasted about 3 days, and sadly, my mom saw it =[ but this time, i'm gonna make sure she doesn't, so yeah, any help here?
First of all, to give a hickey, just gently pinch a piece of his skin between your teeth and suck and move the skin between your teeth. The longer you do that, the darker it will be.
If you're going to have your boyfriend give you a hickey, perhaps let him give you one on your chest or a very low part of your neck. Hickeys can last anywhere from a couple of days to a week. It depends. If he gives you one on a lower area, your mom won't see it.
Also, I don't know if this works, but I've heard that taking a comb and "combing" the hickey from the center to the outside will spread out the blood and it will be less noticeable.
ok just to start i am a man..ish lol (16 years old) but the thing the proceeds to allways piss me off is the way i see other guys looking at girls as if they are mindless sex objects, damn i hate it. one of my freinds freind today was lookin at a girl across the street going oh wow looka her ass i'd bone that bitch and crap like that. am i missing something? because its demoralising as hell and i hate it... how do i just tell him that he is doing something that pisses me off to no end without being so... oh how to put it harsh... well maybe a little to show him a bit, but i dont know ime confused about it i just need a good one liner that will tell anyone i meet like it in the future.
First of all, I love you.
Second of all, there are so many guys like that out there and there's not much you can do about it except just keep doing your thing and respecting girls. When you're the one with all the dates, I'm your guy friends will start to realize how wrong they've been.
Something you could say is "And saying stuff like that is the reason you never will even get a girl." Whenever one of your guy friends says something like that, just shake your head and roll your eyes. They'll get the point that you don't think it's funny and they'll most likely stop doing it around you.
In the end, you can't stop your friends from saying such moronic things. But maybe by being the good guy and setting an example for them, you might be able to get the message across.
I was wondering how to get to second base with a girl. I mean does she have to like tell you to start touching her boobs or just like lead you into or does the guy just have to go for it and hop that it was the right time?
The polite way to go about it is to gradually feel your way up there. Start at her waistline and gently run your fingers up her side. If she pushes your hand away, don't pressure her. If she doesn't stop you, then it's a single to go for it. Very few girls will go right ahead and tell you to grab her breast, so don't count on it. As long as you're not forceful about it, you shouldn't have any problems.
Couple weeks ago, my friend has a party. I went with one of my good friends, Amber. Since she drove, she promised that she wouldn't drink and if she did, she wouldn't have a lot. Once we got to the party I asked her for her keys just INCASE and I hid them in my purse. Like usual, she thought she wouldn't get drunk, she did.
She got SOO wasted that she couldn't even walk for 5 seconds and it freaked me out because everyone there was drunk and I didn't know how to drive but we both had to get home since our parent's and her sister were calling non-stop.
I finally answered to her sister's phone call and explained to her what was going on and she came to pick us up. I did not want Amber to be driving drunk and get us killed. I would never let that happen.
The next day, she was so furious with me that I took her keys and wouldn't let her drive. She even knew I had them. She was also very mad at me for calling her sister and now her sister is mad at her.
I can't help but feel like this is my fault. I didn't want us to get hurt and then regret anything later. What do I do? Advice? Thank you.
I agree with Rahzie. Amber can get over herself and find a new friend that will allow her to get herself killed.
You did absolutely NOTHING wrong and I'm proud that you made such a responsible decision. If Amber is stupid enough to get that wasted and actually think she can drive, she's very lucky that you were there with her or she might not be alive right now.
Just let it go and don't worry about it. If Amber really values you as a friend, she'll get over it. If not, all well. There are other friends you can have.
I start driver's ed soon & I was wondering if anyone knows what you actually do?? It's 30 hours classroom time & 6 hours on the road. Obviously on the road, they teach you how to drive & get practice in. What do you do during class though?? Is it all lecture or is there activities?? Anyone take driver's ed?? Thanks!!
In my driver's ed class, the instructor talked a lot and had us watch some really cheesy videos. They were so cheesy it was hilarious. Usually at the end of each class day we would take a test on what we learned that day. Don't fret, because they're pretty easy. There aren't exactly activities to do, you pretty much just sit there. It helps to have a friend in there with you, so if you don't know anyone, sit next to someone and start a conversation. You'll be glad you did.
Good luck!
i've been shy forever
but it's my sophomore year now
and i'm willing to do anything to make this year great
i've never had a real boyfriend, i want one
i want more friends, i wanna go out every weekend and have fun
i just want to enjoy my life, i'm content now but i want more out of life
i'm definitely no doubt about it going to join some clubs, MAYBE do a sport, if i find one i like and just be more outgoing around others.
unfortunately this year, i dont have lunch with my 2 best friends :[ and i sit with this girl im friends with and her friends. so it's good-im gonna try my best to become friends with them. except what do you do when they're sharing inside jokes and talking about stuff you totally have no clue about?? i just like sit there. i wanna show people i'm funny and talkative, cuz i really am. but it doesn't show. what do i do/say??? especially when stuff like that happens. thanks so muchh!
You're already making the perfect steps toward making more friends by joining clubs and sports. One thing you might not have considered is getting a part-time job. That is a wonderful way to make new friends and you might even expand your group of friends to other schools if they happen to have the same job as you. Just a suggestion. =]
When those girls are talking about inside jokes, if you feel awkward, kind of join in sarcastically. I always do that at it makes people laugh. If they say something like "Omg! Remember that kid in bio?" Chime in and jokingly say "Yea me and him go way back" and then laugh. They will gradually start to include you if you chime in once in awhile. If they're rude about it, then they obviously aren't worth being friends with. Another thing you could do is ask everyone at the table if they'd like to go to the movies sometime.
Then, as for the kid in your math class, since you sit right next to him, it should be easy to strike up conversation. Ask him how he worked out a problem and then casually say "hey, don't you know that one girl i sit with at lunch" and TA DA! You start a conversation! Just be friendly with him from then on and say hi to him in the hallways and stuff. As long as you're nice to him and keep talking with him, things will grow from there.
Good luck!!!
Today was my second day at my new high school. Everyone else has already been there two weeks. My homeroom teacher had a volunteer show me where my locker is. He was so cute and nice and geeky; like 5”, freckles, mousy brown hair (lets call him “Tom”).
Later during lunch, my buddy asked me if I was going to homecoming; I said I don’t know.... She exclaimed, “I’ll fix that!” And despite my protests she went off in search of a date for me. After lunch, this guy walked up to me and asked if I would go to homecoming with his friend. He pointed out the guy, and then I realized it was “Tom” and he was staring at his feet.
I said I’d get back to him tomorrow about that, I have no clue what I should say! HELP!
I think it would be a great idea to go with him! Accept his invitation and say something like, "Well, you were really helpful when you showed me around!"
I'm sure he'll introduce you to some new people, you'll boost his self-esteem, and I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time with a date. You said you thought he was cute, he was obviously nice when he showed you are, and clearly he has a thing for you. Go for it and I'm sure you'll be glad you did.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. We decided to get eachother some small gifts......Only spending around $30.
He already has an I-Pod and XM Radio so CD's would be stupid....His favorite team is Florida Gators...he already has lots of stuff concerning the Gators!
Please help me with some ideas!
I only have about 2 weeks!
You could always make him something. I made my boyfriend a hallow book one time, if you don't know what that is let me know and I'll explain, but it takes a long time to make so you'd have to get started right now.
After I made the book, I decorated it with cool pieces of scrap booking paper and I put little notes inside with quotes I liked and little love notes to him. In all, the supplies added up to about $30. Here's a web site on how to make the hallow book:
http://www.wackyprojects.com/37.html
You could also buy him some movies that he has been wanting to get. Or perhaps some cologne he would like or a shirt?
i'm a guy. 15 years old.
i have never had a girlfriend before. i have asked someone out before but got turned down. im 99% sure its not my looks (i dont look that bad at all), and its not the people i hang out with (i guess you could say i chill with the "cool people" or something) but girls just dont seem to fall for me.
theres this girl i really like in my art class, and we talk to eachother for a few mins almost every day. im pretty shy when it comes to girls so she always starts the convos. there are always theese awkward silences when we're talking that last for like 15 secs. im pretty sure im gonna ask for her number tomorrow at school, but how should i ask her? and if i get her #, how should i ask her out to the movies (like texting or calling)? and when should i ask her (after tomorrow we have a 4 day weekend)?
if she turns me down its going to be really weird and awkward between us since we have the same class together for the rest of the year.
thanks
Casually ask her what she's going this weekend. Then say "Oh maybe we could get together. Can I get your number?"
If she's talking with you so much already, I'm sure she won't turn you down. Just be casual and confident about it. Then just give her a call on Saturday or Friday night and invite her to the movies.
If you're casual about it and don't make it obvious that you're coming on to her, I'm certain she won't turn you down. Even if she does, it shouldn't make things too awkward because you never officially asked her on a date.
Good luck!