I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 28388
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
General Sex Questions
View All
|
| |
|
I am a 29 year old married woman with three kids. I just found out that I am pregnant and my husband and I have agreed that I would have an abortion because we couldn't afford to have another child. We are already struggling to raise our three kids. I am so confused and depressed right now. I am scheduled to have my abortion next week though. If I continue with this pregnancy that means I would have to stop working and money is really tight right now. We are actually living pay check to pay check right now. The other side of me wanted to continue having this child. And it really hurts me so that I have to do this. My family and his family would be so dissappointed if they learned I'm preganant and I doubt that they would be willing to help. If you were in my shoes, would you do the same thing? Am I wrong in doing this? (link)
| |
I can't say you're "right or wrong"...noone can. YOU both know what's in your best interest. Turn to that which has helped you make hardened decisions in the past, whatever that may be. I would like to know what it is that is leaving you "depressed" about the entire situation. I think you already have your answer. But, if you'd like to talk more about this, out of eyeshot of everyone else's eyes on this board, please feel free to contact me through my personal e mail. i think it may help to have someone to talk to about this. I look forward to hearing from you.
|
|
i've been friends with this boy for a couple of years, just friends, but now, after spending most of the summer and after school with him i now have a crush... he has a split personality... one minute, he's the nicest, funniest, all around good person you'd ever meet, but sometimes he hangs around druggies... this scares me... (link)
| |
Hmmmm drugs? Scares you? It SHOULD....move on!
|
|
My 10 year old daughter is invited to a birthday party sleepover this weekend. Is ten year old too young for sleepovers or is it okay for this age to go on sleepovers? (link)
| |
You know, things are a LOT different when we were ten years old. There's more violence, more sex, more risk of drug exposure, etc., etc. but I do know one thing. The fact that you're questioning whether the age is appropriate or not tells me that you're a very conscientious mother. Being so, I know you've done all you can you to teach her right/wrong, and believe it or not, there are other parents that are just as conscientious. And if they're the types of parents that would be congenial enough to allow a sleepover, then I also think that they may be responsible enough to insure that the safety of your child is forst and foremost, don'tcha think? :) How would YOU care for children that age in your care? So, you see, it's not the children, it's the adults. Let me know.
|
|
I hang out with a few of my friends, but theres this one girl that follows us everywere How do we get rid of her??I dont want to tell her anything though Im just not good with feelings!!! (link)
| |
Hmmm, how doews she know where everyone's going to be in order to be there to follow you in the first place? Why don't you guys try planning to be together among those that you only want to attend. I don't know why you don't want this girl around, but if it was something she was doing that was THAT bad, then you guys wouldn't worry about her feelings. If it's because she's just not "cool" enough, or something else silly like that, then you know what, I'd tell her. Then I don't think she'd WANT to be aropund you guys, you dig?
|
ok i like dont like my friend any more because she is becoming some ones that she is not so what should i do cause i still want to be friends with her but not if she acts like someone shes not it just not right i dont know what to do
HELP PLZ (link)
| |
Tell her things to let her know that you enjoyed who she was when you met and make her feel good about being that person around you, if noone else. She may be feeling the pr4essure of trying to find out who she is and what she wants to be. That's normal for people at different stages in their lives. You may just be fortunate enough to be present for hers'. Let her know all of the things that you liked about the "her" that she was, and maybe she'll feel good enough about who she was to let you see her again.
|
|
Ok well i used to be the girl who wrote the best peoms ever.Then bout a year ago my other friend started writeing her peotry and totally just critisizing mine and then my other friend started writing it oo and then my friend said whoa is she tryin to take m y place and then said well i took urs i mean my poetry is better well she didnt say that but implied it ever since then i have felt so empty b-cz peotry is the only thing i had why is she doing this what can i do to help and y do i feel like this? (link)
| |
Why do you say the only thing you've ever HAD? You still have it. Poetry, my dear is ususally written for the person that's doing the writing, as a way of expressing what's usually not easy to say but has to be. Sometimes, it's written for others, as in the form of Odes, but for the most part, it's for you. You haD it, you haVE it, and it's still yours. As lonmg as you enjoy it, then it's doing it's job, hon.
|
|
OK SEE I HAVE ONLY HAD LIKE 3 BOYFRIENDS BUT I TELL MY FRIENDS THAT I HAVE HAD A TON AND I HAVENT EVEM KISSED A GUY BUT MY FRIENDS THINK I HAVE MADE OUT WIT LIKE EVERY GUY I DATED WHATS WRONG WITH ME AM I LIKE A LIE AHOLIC? (link)
| |
Hmmmmm. liaholic....no. Liar....yes. The problem is not that you told the lie...it never really is. It's all about why you felt you NEEDED to tell the lie. Do you think that they won't like you as much if you don't have all of the experience you say you have? Or will YOU not like yourself as much? Do you feel like you're "falling behind " in the romance category and in an effort to be cool, you make up your own? You know what? I did the same thing as most of us did. I didn't have sex until what I thought was EXTREMELY late in comparison to my friends. What's funny though is.....when I actually DID have sex, it came out that none of them really had. Chances are that those you're trying to impress haven't either. Which is why they pay so much attention to who you've been with. you're about as close as they'll come for now and they live for your stories to add to theirs. Once I actually had sex, lol, the funniest thing of all happened. I didn't want anyone to know and didn't tell anybody. Go figure. Ask yourself what it is that you get from the lies and see if it's something you REALLY need or is it something you only WANT. Good luck.
|
|
Well, okay. I have been wanting to learn how to play guitar for a year now, but I am afraid to bring it up to my parents. I have done it before, and my mom was all for the idea but then she tells me things like "Oh, if you start your own band with all girls they are gonna think you're lesbian" or "it's not your talent", or "you've never shown any interest". WEll now I am interested, and it is all I think about. I don't want to be famous, and I at least would have something to do after school. (My mom is upset that I don't do any activities). My birthday is approaching and my friend knows drums and my other friend just got a bass guitar, but I am the one they are waiting for. They know I really want this. But my mom seems to be scared of drugs or something and I am frustrated of waiting. My question is should I just go ahead and ask or secretly get a guitar and teach myself, or forget the whole thing..HELP! (link)
|
Whatever you do....you can never "forget" the whole thing, trust me. Thinmgs like hidden desires have an uncanny knack for creeping up on you at the most inopportune moments in life. Like, after you've been married for a few years, the job's a LITTLE boring , and you've got three kids who all SWEAR your first name is actually "MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY".
Tell you what. You seem to be in tune enough to have given it, and others' concerns an ample amount of consideration. I have no doubt that you can ( and will ) sit down with your mom, explain to her your drive to do this and make it happen. After you've done that, ask her to explain to you HER reasoning for being so against it and do your best to assure her that hear fears are unecessary. You might be able to garner some extra points by caressing her ego as you do with statements like, " Well, I can understand why you would fear that I would get mixed up in drugs. But I feel good in the job you've done in teaching me about myself and the dangers of drugs...blah, blah, blah." What you've then done is put her in the position to question herself. Does she fear drugs because she thinks you're weak and couldn't say no? Or does she fear the drug thing because she feels that SHE didn't do all she could to educate you to HER satisfaction? If it's the latter of the two, then assuring her that she did may be all she needs to hear. As an ex-musician/tourer, let me know how this goes.
|
|
..ok...soo....its been a few months since my boyfriend and I broke up, and I was upset, but now I'm ok with it. And he has a new girlfriend, but yet...my friends say he always watches me when I walk past, but he tries to hide it (he doesn't do a very good job). And when you ask him if he would ever go back out with me, He's like No I'm happy with (we'll call her Bob) Bob. So then what's with the watching me crap? Could somebody explain it to me? Ahhh. Thanks. (link)
| |
Porr girl. It's like this. Let's say you have a car and you hate it, enough to get rid of it. Once you do...a little time goes by and you see the car again. You remember how good it looks, how well it drove and how much you loved it when you had it. Eberytime someone drives it down the street, there's going to be a part of your heart that aches because the car always looks better and better because it's not yours anymore. Even if you have bought a brand new, 2004 BOBcat. Yours still looks the best. What he's doing is reminiscing. The good times are flooding back now and that's the only way he can allow it to show.
|
Okay this guy (call him Pierre) used to like me and i liked him n stuff. Then he asked me out, but i said no. On monday he invited me to his party. On thursday Pierre was passing out papers and said my friend likes you he thinks your cute. So I was like cool who is it! He wouldnt tell me though. He said unless i tell him who I like he wont tell me. So the next day Im trying to ask pierre who it was, but he avoided me. He looked at me by the sides of his book and made faces at me stuck out his tounge and eventually he made a kiss with his lips at me. And my friend (call her Sarah) saw him wen he did that too. She and acouple other girls think the mystery guy is him. They asked him if its him and he said EWW no!Though he said he liked a girl (call her Mary). So then finally Pierre told me the mystery guy doesnt like me anymore and he thinks Im a loser! And then I tried to bribe him by telling him I knew alot of girls who like him, but Pierre said guys dont care about that. But still he wants to know who I like though! And then this other guy (call him Chriss) told me he over heard Pierre say ya I wouldnt blame the guy for not liking her she IS a loser. So my questions are, Why does he still want to know who I like? If he thinks Im a loser why did he ask me out and invite me to his party? Is he the mystery guy? Why did he react weird when my friend asked if it was him? Why does he call me a loser? and does he still like me?
~~~~~~HELP~~~~~please!~~~~~~~~~TODAY!!!!~~~~~~ (link)
| |
Not ONLY does he like you, my dear, he's deathly afraid of letting you know AND being caught with his heart wide open. he wants to make SURE that you don't like anyone else or at least that the possibity that you MIGHT like him exists before he let's his feelings be known. The next time that he approaches you and makes m ention of someone thinking you're a loser, just half-smile and say, well, I've never seen someone spend so much time thinking about a loser. That's ok, though. I know alot of people throughout my life aren't going to like me so I better get used to it now. And then change the subject as if what he just said meant about as much to you as the process for squaring binomials deos an english major. he'll come around.
|
|
One of my so-called friends decided that she wanted to make stuff up about me, I guess to start a fight, but it's pretty sad that she has to make something up instead of saying osmething true that's bad, and it's pretty sad that she had that much trouble finding something bad that she made something up. Question is, do I confront her about it or not, because I heard it on the grapevine. I don't know if I should tell her to her face how pathetic it is that she has to make up something because she can't find anything, or if I should just leave her to think that she has gotten away with it completely. Can anyone help? (link)
| |
This one is simple, if you heard it through the grapevine, then that tells me that the person who brought it to you doesn't believe much of it, either. People usually don't approach you with what they KNOW is the truth. If that is the case, then there's nothing to be concerned with. Confronting her will only add fuel to the fire because she will then know that she's getting to you and that makes it all the more "fun" to her. Let it be, and I assure you, after a few rounds of people acting as if they have better things to do and hear, she'll get the message and move on.
|
Hello One Man,
1st of all, i would like to compliment on answering the various questions and subjects ppl bring ur way..Great Job!!!
Now if i may ask a Question concerning myself?..
Sometime back i met a wonderful Man, very compatable with me,a Man i have dreamed of all my Life, but there is one Problem..he reside in a different State..we have met on the Internet (we've met in Person) and developed a deep LOVE for eachother..it hurts and aches so badly that i am not able to see him more often, or even better, on a daily basis..i am loyal to him and wish the day would come, we could close that Distance..in the meantime, there is this Pain of missing him and longing for him so much..Pls could u advice me on how to handle this part of my Life? (link)
| |
First of all, let me comment on your use of small letters when referring to yourself and large case whenever you refer to him. I'm not sure, but in other circumstances, that would lead me to believe that your involvment with this gemtleman is one of a.....let's say......submissive nature. If that IS the case, then I am well aware of the loyalty involved. For you two to have actually met and still communicate says alot. How about this....try and keep in mind, the faith you have in this man, and until such time as the two of you can close the distance, try to remember just what it was that makes you love him and the time you had together and see if that will help in staving off your angst until you see him again. Let me know how things work out, little girl.
|
|
hey r doing an EKG. . they already did one* (link)
| |
Hmmm, then I guess they're cheking the heart. Anyway, I hope all goes well with you.
|
|
is fear in religion a good thing, to keep morality, or is it some man made thing to control people? (link)
| |
There ARE men who instill fear in an effort to control, but, that;s not the origin of fear. Fear itself, is an innate repsonse that is integral in self survival. As far as fear in religion. THAT may be an implementation of man to chide one into his/her way of thinking or believing. Notice I say may be. Your personal relationship with your god is nothing that anyone else can comment on. Nor should they be allowed to. if YOU feel that it's best for you to be fearful, then by all means, do. If you don't feel it's necessary for you to have an absolutely wonderful relationship with the Holiest of Holy, then...... Only you can answer that.
|
|
Why am I black? (link)
| |
Because God knew you could handle it.
|
|
What should i sell? (link)
| |
Whatever it is that people want in abundance.Number one rule of economics.....supply and DEMAND.
|
I'm just starting out in the guitar world, and I've been doing some research. I've decided that I want a Fender, because they've gotten good reviews and are in my price range (or the ones I've seen, anyway.)My questions consist of:
1. What's a dreadnaught? Is it bigger than a Grand Concert?
2. Are you supposed to use a pick with acoustics?
3. What is the best kind of case?
4. What's a good price (in general) for a Fender?
I think I want the Grand Concert GC-12 Acoustic, but I also might want the DG 245 Dreadnaught Acoustic.
(link)
| |
You know, I have absolutely NO clue on these. BUT, my best plays guitar and I GUARANTEE she could answer these for you. If you'll check back, I'll see if she's available to answer. If not, then I'll be glad to look the answers up for you or call her and get the answers that way.
|
|
I have to drink coffee every day to survive. I don't drink a ton of it, probably two cups a day in the morning. My friends and I used to have a day we'd call "detox thursday" where we wouldn't drink coffee all day, but I was starting to hate detox thursdays because I felt tired and grumpy all day so I quit doing it with them. Does this mean I'm addicted? Is coffee really that bad for me? It's way better than soda, right? (link)
|
Lol I'm the WRONG one to ask THIS! Anyone who knows me will gladly tell you the incredible, almost inhuman amounts of mountain dew consumed by me on a daily basis. Hey, caffeine is caffeine and yes, it IS addictive. You feel tired and grumpy becuasde caffeine is a stimulant and your body has become accustomed to receiving it. It pretty much has to have it in order to generate the needed amount of dopamine to get you started, lol. I noticed you didnt mention headaches which also accompany caffeine withdrawal.
If I have to answer correctly, I'd say, " Yes, coffee is bad for you". But, as a partner in crime, and one that would KILL if I had to start a day without my caffeine, I say, to hell with'em all.
|
|
Hey, I fainted twice tody and went to the doctors twice, all in one day. . I want to know whats wrong with me! I have a rash,a dn my mom put stuff on it then all of a sudden i get dizzy and everything would be so blurry and then it would get dark, and the next thing you know i wa sin my moms arms. . Then I fainted again just abotu a half hour after I visited the doctors. . But my mom had put on this ointment iwas sappose to have for my rash. . then all of a sudden I got dizzy, and I saw blurrieness and darkness came and I was on the floor. .My momw as really scared. . is this my rash's fault?? I went to the doctor, they say Im fine and everything but thye want me to go gethtis thing done where u put those thigns on u, they stick em pon you I dont know wut its called exactllly. . But please tell me if u know what is causing this?!?!!?!? (link)
| |
Chances are, it's an allergic reaction to an ingredient in the "stuff" your mom put on your rash. Run this by the doctors simply as a suggestion. It sounds like they're planning to do an EEG ( electroencephalograph ) to see if there's anything abnormal in the brain. But, let them run theirs first ( they ARE the doctors ) and if nothing, then suggest it.
|
I have a HUGE crush on this guy at my church, but he HATES my guts. I actually think I love him, but I dont know why. What should I do?
(link)
|
You only feel like you love BECAUSE he hates you. Noone likes to be disliked. But for some, it seems to be the end of everything holy. Take a look at WHAT you (ahem...LOVE) about him. Make a list. And if you find that it's shorter than you thought it would be, then maybe you feel that way out of a need to change his feelings for you, if only a small bit.
If you find that you DO have a long list. Then take into consideration that maybe he hates you because you love him.
|
|