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Well, okay. I have been wanting to learn how to play guitar for a year now, but I am afraid to bring it up to my parents. I have done it before, and my mom was all for the idea but then she tells me things like "Oh, if you start your own band with all girls they are gonna think you're lesbian" or "it's not your talent", or "you've never shown any interest". WEll now I am interested, and it is all I think about. I don't want to be famous, and I at least would have something to do after school. (My mom is upset that I don't do any activities). My birthday is approaching and my friend knows drums and my other friend just got a bass guitar, but I am the one they are waiting for. They know I really want this. But my mom seems to be scared of drugs or something and I am frustrated of waiting. My question is should I just go ahead and ask or secretly get a guitar and teach myself, or forget the whole thing..HELP!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Whatever you do....you can never "forget" the whole thing, trust me. Thinmgs like hidden desires have an uncanny knack for creeping up on you at the most inopportune moments in life. Like, after you've been married for a few years, the job's a LITTLE boring , and you've got three kids who all SWEAR your first name is actually "MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY".
Tell you what. You seem to be in tune enough to have given it, and others' concerns an ample amount of consideration. I have no doubt that you can ( and will ) sit down with your mom, explain to her your drive to do this and make it happen. After you've done that, ask her to explain to you HER reasoning for being so against it and do your best to assure her that hear fears are unecessary. You might be able to garner some extra points by caressing her ego as you do with statements like, " Well, I can understand why you would fear that I would get mixed up in drugs. But I feel good in the job you've done in teaching me about myself and the dangers of drugs...blah, blah, blah." What you've then done is put her in the position to question herself. Does she fear drugs because she thinks you're weak and couldn't say no? Or does she fear the drug thing because she feels that SHE didn't do all she could to educate you to HER satisfaction? If it's the latter of the two, then assuring her that she did may be all she needs to hear. As an ex-musician/tourer, let me know how this goes.
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Ask your mom! If she says no, then use birthday money to buy your own guitar. Also point out to her that If you learn to play a guitar, then you'll have something to do! And if she still doesn't trust you and thinks you'll go off snorting whatever comes into your hands (like mary jane), then tell her that she should trust you by now.
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My advice for you on this is pretty straight-forward and fairly simple:
Tell her what you told the people on this site.
Set her fears at ease. You are probably a very responsible person, and your mom knows that. She just sees these stereotypical things, and thinks that the guitar will be the gateway that she will lose her daughter through. Look her in the eyes and reassure her that this is something you want to do to have fun and learn a musical instrument. It will not be the beginning of drunken, drug-laden parties.
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