A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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About a week ago, I felt very uncomfortable. I was talking to someone during school, and somehow we got into the conversation of homosexuality.
She was disgusted, blunt about how all gay people should be burned to death, that they chose to be rebellious and gay and they would rot in hell forever. I, myself, am not gay, but I was so taken back by what she was saying. I told her that I did not believe in God, and that I believe that people do not choose their sexual orientation. Mind you, I am not ignorant. I was raised to believe in God, but as I have gotten older (17) I have realized my own views.
She flat out told me that I was going to hell along with all the gays, muslims, buddhists, non-believers, jews, etc; Asked why I was defending gays, and then decided to accuse me of being gay for not agreeing that gays are disgusting.
I stayed calm, and asked he what she would do if she birthed a gay child. She told me should would lock it in a closet or in their room and not let it come out until it was straight.
I am just feel offended and imposed upon. Just because I do not believe in the same thing she, or the majority of people in my area (i live in the south) do, doesn't mean I should be yelled at and accused, and meant to felt horrible about myself.
I don't impose my views upon others, but I just felt so uncomfortable when she was basically giving me a one way ticket to hell.
Should I just forget about it, and disregard her?
Help. :/ (link)
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You should ignore her, anything she says, and avoid her as much as possible.
Honestly, people like her disgust me in the extreme.
I wish I had an article to link you. I cant find it. There was a study done a while ago, when people are attracted to others they release pheromones. Chemicals that cause responses in others and cause them to feel attracted as well.
In heterosexual people, (take me) I react to female pheromones. There are parts of my brain that light up like a christmas tree when I am around a girl I am attracted to. Straight girls around me light up in exactly the same way.
Now, this brain activity can actually be identified and cataloged.
The study also tested homosexual people. And it showed that in almost every case, homosexual people did not react to the opposite sex's pheromones at all, but when exposed to the pheromones of another person of the same sex, they lit up like I would around a girl.
The first domino in what I'm sure will eventually be a mountain of biological evidence that there are definitely things beyond choice or preference that go into being gay or straight.
You should feel offended. The person you talked to is an ignorant fool who blindly accepts what she has been told. You should also feel a slight amount of pity, because she has undoubtedly been taught to believe these things, so its not _entirely_ her fault.
If she draws you into another argument, this is what I would tell her.
"You are a hypocrite. You claim to be religious but you use religion to cover your hatred for others and to justify to yourself the fact that you are a terrible person. Believing in God, or Christ, means that you should have a loving acceptance of your neighbor the same way that you would want your neighbor to lovingly accept you.
You are shortsighted and ignorant. You have been taught to hate others and you are too blind and comfortable in your beliefs to see that everything you have been taught is wrong and evil. There is a seat in hell specially reserved for those like you who hide their hatred behind God and use him as a justification for this kind of thing"
I am a Christian and I am incredibly offended by this myself. Stand up for yourself, you are completely, totally, and utterly 150% in the right.
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Okay...backround info: I'm a girl, and I'm in my sophmore year of highschool. I have a boyfriend named James and he's a junior. We've been going out for 9 months and I love him...no...I'm in love with him, and I know he's in love with me too.
Fairy Tale ends there :(
Problem:
The past couple of weeks he's been acting sort of strange. He's been more affectionate at school and he'll just get me these random gifts...he trys to be with me every single second... and he's being way overprotective lately.
It's not that that bothers me either, but sometimes I just kind of caught him staring at me with this kind of worried expression or he would be really quiet around me...pensive.
So I decided to bring up his behavior after school today and here's what he said.
James/Botfriend: I love you and I don't want to lose you.
I was so shocked!
What could I possibly have done to make him think that he was losing me? Honestly I need advice here.
I was about to ask him about it, but I didn't get over the shock until his teacher was calling him up to the stage for rehearsal...
I don't know what to do now...or what to say to him...or even how to act?
What could I possibly have done to make him believe I didn't want to be with him? (link)
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You need to talk to him. Not angrily, you need to talk to him to comfort him.
Obviously, there is not enough communication. You need to be understanding and sit him down and ask him why he thought he might lose you.
Something to keep in mind. At 17 or 16 in junior year, he isnt going to be fully formed and confident in himself. I remember being that age, and occasionally getting worried that someone might leave me or something for some reason. Sometimes there wasnt even a justification other than my own self esteem causing mental issues for me.
Get him to talk to you. Tell him that its ok, and you want him to be truthful because you DONT want to leave him or anything like that and if he has worries then he needs to tell you so that you can talk them out, and you can assure him that everything is fine.
Communication is key. Be gentle and understanding.
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Do you feel it's okay to change your significant other? Let's saying, you liked to drink. Do you think it's okay for your bf/gf to persuade/threaten your relationship for you to stop? Vice versa. Do you think it's okay for you to tell them to stop or make them feel guilty because you don't like it? What if they only drank on special occasions or every other week/month. Is it okay to control them?
I'm curious on your thoughts :] (link)
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No, it is not.
The only time you should force change in a relationship is
1) If you have reasonable needs that are not being taken care of
2) It is a change that you and your significant other agree needs to be made for them to be a better person.
In those two occasions it is permissable to ask for changes. Do not threaten. Relationships are about COMPROMISE not control. If you need something to change and it isnt changing, then it might be time to end the relationship.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend just does something you don't like then you need to first look at yourself and see if there is a very good reason for you to feel that way about what theyre doing. Example, if someone is drinking a few times a month on special occasions and you have a problem with that, that is YOUR problem not theirs. If someone does something responsibly like that and you just don't like that, it is unreasonable of you to expect them to change for you.
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im thinking about taking a bus instead of a plane on a trip next week. last minute i know. im in college so every dollar counts and buses are cheaper. im going through 2 and a half states. does anyone know anything about greyhound busses and how reliable and safe they are? any experiences, comments? thanks!
f/19 (link)
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I hate greyhound. I hate them with a fiery passion.
Its cramped. The people who ride them regularly are generally not very pleasant. The busses are not maintained that well and break down sometimes. Even if they dont, it can be subject to horrible delays.
I would take a plane. If you stay in the stations they are relatively safe, but the one time they call a 30 minute break, and leave 15 minutes later while you're doing something like going to the bathroom and they leave your ass in a small town in the middle of fucking nowhere, and you have to wait 6 hours for the next bus, you won't ever take greyhound again.
I recommend strongly against it. At best its going to suck a little. At worst, it causes vision reddening rage.
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i am sick of hearing the word gay being tossed around so carelessly. "that song is so gay!" how does that make ANY sense? does that song like other songs of the same gender? am i missing something here..?
i want people to know that i am gay and i find it very offensive to hear people use gay instead of stupid. i am gay. does that make me stupid?
if you are jewish and someone said "that movie is so jewish", you would get offended because jewish does not mean stupid. this is the same exact scenario: a minority being discriminated.
so why do people do this, and how do i get them to stop? =( (link)
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I can understand this very much.
When I was younger, gay was a negative connotation. A decade ago being gay was not nearly as acceptable as it is now.
Especially among the straight, if something was "gay" it was emasculated, it was negative. If a guy was gay he was a pussy and effeminate.
This is a holdover from that. To be honest, when I was younger I used it that way. Breaking that habit took a while and some effort but people have to realize that they are being ignorant assholes before they want to change something like that. Some people don't have an issue with being ignorant assholes.
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My boyfriend (age 23, I'm 21) of 4.5 years just got back from a business trip in Chicago & told me while he was out at a bar he did a bodyshot off a bartender. I was pretty upset, but he was confused why. He kept saying "it was at a bar! what's wrong with it!?". But I disagree? Anyways, just wondering what other people's opinion is, if he's right and I'm overreacting, or if its a no-no and I am justified. Thanks! (link)
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Hmm.
I'm not a jealous person at all. My take on jealousy is that if there is an actual threat to the relationship, jealousy is justified. If there is no threat, then there is no justification for it, and I deal with any feelings of jealousy. Over time, thats gotten easier.
Ive watched my girlfriend(s) do things like this. They are innocent, I wouldnt consider something like this cheating in any way, shape, or form.
Look at your own reaction. Consider if theres some way you could be OK with this kind of thing. I mean, its not a regular thing, its not like he has a bartender at home that he takes body shots off of, he didnt do it because he was interested in the girl he did it because its fun to take a shot off of someone and most straight guys arent going to take a shot off another guy.
Thats my personal opinion.
Then again, if I were dating a bartender and a guy wanted to take a bodyshot off of her, I would crack up laughing and encourage it and probably tease her about it later. Thats just the kind of person I am.
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Let me start off by saying that I have wonderfull boyfrind.I am currently 17 and I am a girl.Michael, he is my soul mate.My mother doesnt like him. She has valid reasons but I love him nad he treats my with respect and loves me. I dont belive that theres nothing that he wouldnt do for me.
I am currently in Virginia. I moved here in August. he is in Virginia. Our plan is for him to come get me on my 18th birthday and for us to get married. I wont be able to see him until next Novenber. I miss him terrribly.
What should I do? I mean my mother would freak if she found out that I was with him again and I cant talk to him on the house phone and I am like the only one in the universe that doesnt have a cell phone.So, should I stay with him and move or should I stay here, in VA?
urs truly
Confuzzeled? (link)
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Do not get married.
Seriously.
I know it seems like a great idea. It seems like you want to spend your life with this guy, but you guys arent ready for that yet.
You need to get to know him in every day life. An online relationship is not a true relationship, you dont get to see someone's flaws that way.
I was in a distance relationship for 2 years and she moved in with me at the beginning of the summer. Chaos. We got to see each other about twice a month during those 2 years and even then, there were things about her that I didnt learn until I saw her every day. At a distance its too easy to gloss over your faults.
You should not marry someone unless youve been with them at least a year where you could see each other several times a week. That is close enough proximity to start seeing true flaws and learning if you can live with theirs.
You are going to change. So is he. I would say another good guideline is do NOT get married to anyone until you are past 20. Before that you are way too young to know if things are going to work out. Even 20 is very young.
See Abbey's advice below me? Excellent advice. Read mine, then read hers. Then read hers again. And again. Its a very good perspective from a girl.
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what are the names of some good pop/rock bands??? (link)
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Hmm.
Wide selection.
Nirvana
Rolling Stones
The Beatles
The Wallflowers
Pink Floyd
Boston
New Order
Depeche Mode
Duran Duran
Green Day
Hoobastank
Smashing Pumpkins
Cake
REM
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rage Against the Machine
Queens of the Stone Age
Pearl Jam
Pantera
Oasis
I could go on. There are tons. Those are some of my favorites. They range from 80s to today date wise.
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Keeping personality out of the question, one of my guy friends said that it doesn't matter if a girl is super ugly or not but if she has a good body she can score guys. Is that true.. somewhat? How does that make any sense? If someone can argue for both sides for this viewpoint, that would be awesome. (link)
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Varies very widely depending on the guy.
For one thing, there is no universal standard of beauty. One guy might find a girl amazingly hot while another finds her completely unappealing.
Personally speaking, there have to be certain levels of attractiveness in all areas. Face is a big one for me, an ugly face is an instant turn off. Bad teeth, too much makeup, just certain facial features. I am more forgiving on body than on face.
Honestly speaking, I am more likely to find a girl not attractive who other people do than find a girl attractive that other people don't. Everyone has their own standards, some people (mine) are pretty high.
It also varies with your own personal attractiveness and self esteem. Some guys will date a girl who they are less attracted to because they think they cant or actually cant do any better. Some guys like a girl who has a great personality or high intelligence and care less about appearance. I have my own standards of beauty but I do have high standards in all regards.
I developed those standards because I can afford to. I am an attractive guy who is highly intelligent and a good bit to offer a girl personality wise. If you meet higher standards you will have higher standards because its easier to attract the opposite sex.
Similarly, if I were someone who could not meet high standards, I would have lower standards myself because the girls I like would not be attracted to me.
I will also say, that standards change as you get older. I have much higher standards than I used to. I am more confident in myself than I was when I was in high school or starting college and I was a bit more socially awkward. This is pretty true of most people. As you date you learn what you like and you refuse to accept anything less.
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what exactly is considered child abuse? me and my parents just got in a fight (mostly me and my mom because shes crazy) and she came running after me so i ran out of the house and she said not to come back in....is this abuse? by the way i live in a place where its like 20 degrees right now and i was in a tee shirt :( i dont wanna get taken away but i hate when this happens (link)
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Way too vague to answer.
You ran outside into the cold and she yelled at you in anger telling you to not come back inside.
That does not sound like abuse. Now, if she locked you outside for a significant period of time (read, more than 5-10 minutes to teach you a lesson) then it could be considered abuse because she placed you in harms way.
If she just yelled at you, then no it really isnt and I'd lean towards you just looking for justification to make yourself more mad at her and to try to ignore your part in the fight.
This question is patentedly unanswerable because of the severe lack of information. We dont know enough about past and present history to tell you.
The answer of the poster below me is ridiculous. Comparing you (who are probably 14-18) to locking a 2 year old outside is stupid and shortsighted. Do not take such answers as truth, even though they may tell you what you want to hear. I'm beginning to wonder if shes a 15 year old girl pretending to be a grandmother to be taken more seriously.
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ok...i have a few questions. how safe are condoms? like whats the percentage you could get pregnant.
where do you get morning after pills from? and how long after sex should you take them, how many ect...
if you have sex and dont know your pregnant, could you take them anyway? will they harm you if your not pregnant? do you only take them once or is it like a few days thing? are they 100% gaurenteed to get rid of the baby? and what actually happens. does it just get everything out? and are there sideaffects?
thankyou so much xxx (link)
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::Edit::
Post rating response
What would happen if you took the pill and werent pregnant? Well there are a few side effects with MAP possible. Nausea and such. That simply comes from the fact that you're overloading your body with hormones short term and it kind of screws it up a bit. Other than those side effects (which will come with the MAP, I dont have a full list on me), if you arent pregnant and arent going to get pregnant, nothing happens.
::/edit::
This is something I tell everyone.
Its not a scientific fact, its an opinion.
Condoms are not there to prevent pregnancy, theyre there to prevent STDs. Condoms are NOT reliable enough to count on. Every guy Ive ever known whos been sexually active for more than a year or so has broken one. If that happens, you are essentially completely unprotected.
You should be on birth control if you want to have sex. Period. Its a second line of defense if the condom fails thats more effective than the condom.
Take the two together, and you are pretty safe.
Ignore the first responder. She is an idiot. "No one knows the answers to this"
Condoms are quoted percentage wise as anywhere from 86 to 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. It depends on which study you are looking at. The truth behind them is that they are that effective if they do not break or have any problems with them.
The morning after pill is emergency contraception. Its basically a larger dose of normal birth control hormones. The FDA quotes the MAP as 80% effective at preventing pregnancy.
Lets clear that up though. The MAP is designed to prevent pregnancy. Normally, you don't become pregnant immediately after sex. Its not until the egg is fertilized and attaches to your uterine wall that you are officially "pregnant" and the MAP is designed to try to prevent both fertilization and attachment.
If you are already pregnant, the MAP is considered to be ineffective. It is not the same as the abortion pill, which basically forces a miscarriage.
Good resource for you.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/morning-after-pill/AN00592
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My bf and I have just started getting closer. He tells me he really loves me and I believe him. We spend so much time together. I feel comfortable with him, so when we make out I let him feel me up sometimes, but I don't what I can do back. I don't what to get too, sexual or anything, but is there anything else I can do to make it more exciting? (link)
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Hmm.
Guys have many of the same sensitive areas as girls do. There are a ton of things you can do to him that dont require anything more than maybe having him take off his shirt.
Usually light rubbing with fingernails or finger tips feels amazing. Light kisses or licking are also very exciting.
Areas of interest.
Hands, Wrists, and Forearms. When sitting there, a good start is to just pick up his hand and run your fingers over it. Kiss his fingertips, his palm, or the underside of his wrist. Running your nails up and down his arm from elbow to palm is always very nice. Its cute, and sweet, without being very sexual.
Neck, ears, and shoulders. Guys necks and shoulders are very sensitive generally and being kissed there is exciting. A good way to end up there, is kiss his lips, then his chin, then down to his neck on one side. You do the chin kiss because alot of times if you move your face someone will try to follow your lips with theirs. Kissing his chin tells him "lean your head back and let me see your neck"
You can kiss down his shoulders. From there, you can kiss up the side of his neck and to his ear. Guys love it when a girl kisses and lightly licks his ear, maybe sucks on an ear lobe for a second. Also, when kissing him, feel free to run your hands up and down his neck, or wrap a hand around the back of his neck and play with the hair on the back of his head.
Most guys also love having their heads scratched. Its very relaxing.
Chest, nipples, ect. While guys nipples generally arent as sensitive as a girls, it is still exciting and feels good to have a girl kiss or lick there. Same thing with the rest of his chest. When kissing him, if his shirt is off you can run your fingers lightly over his chest while making out.
A good rule of thumb when making out is anything he does to you he would probably enjoy you doing to him. Even though he doesnt have breasts that in no way means his chest cant be sensitive. Touching him will make him feel good. Just run your hands over his body in places you're comfy doing so. The neck or arms are great.
Explore the areas I mentioned with your hands, your lips, and if you're feeling adventurous, your tongue. Theyre all sensitive and most of them you can stay fully clothed for. Watch his eyes and face sometimes when you're doing something. Most people will close their eyes, or smile, or show other signs of enjoyment when you hit a spot that feels really good.
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i am madly in love with this guy. everytime i see him i fall in love all over again. we have had a past but he doesn't wanna be with me anymore=[ i cry all the time. i need help falling out of love=[ (link)
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Time, and distance.
Those are the only two things that really work.
Its hard. Its incredibly hard. Three months ago I was broken up with. She cheated before she did.
I am still head over heels in love with her. I'm actually seeing someone else and hoping that I can forget. But I know that its probably not going to happen. I know that the depth to which I loved this girl is never going to go away, and in 10 years if we are both single and meet again I will throw myself back into a relationship and try to work it out.
Most people never fall completely out of love. But eventually with time it doesnt hurt any more. I don't miss her like I did. I don't feel empty inside when I go to bed alone anymore. I don't miss the sound of her voice and the smell of her hair. Time has healed me a good bit, though I still have a little ways to go.
Give yourself time. You cant speed it up. The one thing you can do is avoid him. Because every time you see him, it sets you back. You can make two months progress, and seeing him sets you back a month. Another 6 months go by, you see him, it sets you back 3 months. Eventually, its set back a week. Then a day. Then not at all.
If you can, see other people. You miss all the things he did for you, but if you find someone else who can fill some of that void it can help alot. Thats what I've done. And I'm falling for someone else now.
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So the guy I like is so overly nice to me, but I worry that hes just leading me on. He always tells me that Im amazing/incrdible, that I look good, that he misses me, etc. Weve even stayed up til 4 talking on the phone before. i hear that he flirts with other girls, but i dont actually see him doing it so idk if hes the same with all of them. How far will guys really lead you on? Is that what this ones doing? (link)
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If a guy shows interest in you to the point that you have described, there is a 99.9999% chance that he is genuinely interested in you and is not leading you on.
If you give him some openings I would be very surprised if he didnt ask you out, and if he didnt theres a pretty big chance that its because hes just too shy and scared to.
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whats the difference between loving someone and being in love with them? (link)
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I love my friends. I love spending time around them, talking with them, laughing with them. I love my family. I love many things in my life. Loving something is just having a large attachment to it, or to them.
Being in love...
I love my friends. But I don't want intimacy with them. I don't want to sleep with them, to talk to them, to make future plans with them, to have kids with them.
Someone I am in love with is someone who is the center of my universe. She is my other half. Someone whom I choose as a partner in my life to share my life with with the possibility of marriage, kids, family, all that jazz.
Being in love with someone is to me knowing that you want to spend your life making that person happy. And understanding the commitment inherent in that. Its wanting to not go to bed angry and work things out. Its wanting to make them smile.
Thats about the best I can do in a practical explanation.
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my boyfriend and i have been together for a couple of years. we have talked about marriage and we are in love. he still watches porn every week though. i feel as if i am failing at being a girlfriend. is this normal? do boyfriends, even when in love, watch porn? (link)
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Yes. This is normal male behavior.
Most men with a decent sex drive masturbate, even in a committed relationship. Its a way to keep yourself sane when sex isnt practical, its a way to get in touch with sexual fantasies, and to be quite frank, its also just a way a guy can kind of "pamper" himself. There are times when you are feeling sexual but you just want some "me" time and thats often a good way to do it.
Now, if you are feeling insecure, one thing you might want to do is talk to him. Find out what he likes about what he's watching. Be open minded and see if there are some things he likes watching in porn that the two of you can do together.
I had a friend who used to watch alot of porn involving sex in public. He absolutely loved the idea of having sex in a changing room, in the bathroom of a restaurant, in a movie theater. He would watch porn of this stuff every single day.
His girl (another friend) was a bit insecure and didnt know what he was watching, just that he watched it. One day she asked if she could watch with him. They ended up talking about it, and they started trying out sex in interesting places themselves.
He still watches it alot, but its almost always with her, and shes discovered that she absolutely loves this fantasy and their sex life kind of jumped up a few notches.
Something to think about.
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if you're a girl, how can you determine how big a boy's penis is without looking at it or feeling it? (link)
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The hands and feet thing is a complete crock of shit.
Notice, the person who said that said "I know three people, two of them dont conform to this stereotype but one does!" and says that its true.
Its not. There is no genetic or statistical correlation between the size of the penis and the size of ANYTHING else on the body.
About the only way you could tell is if he got excited with his clothes on, if he is well endowed obviously hes going to stick out a bit more than a normal guy will.
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im 16, 5'2 and weigh 109 i know thats not fat but my stomach could use some working on. like 3 years ago i had the perfect body minus boobs haha but anyway like my stomach was flat my waiste was really small everything was wicked skinny but i got mono and i lost alot of weight but it slowed down my metabolism and i gained7 or so pounds. i diet and excerisine and whatnot but like i want my tiny body again. when i sit i have rolls and like it makes me so self consious. my dad tells me to do crunches but you cant "target" spots so i just run because hey my thighs and arms could get smaller too but like once your thighs are big is it true that they wont get smaller because like that fat turns into muscle so you get big muscular legs? im not sure but can someone give me good exercise and diet tips. i want some like fad diets like drink cranberry juice for 48 hours or like cute things like that. oh and im also a vegeterian. (link)
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::Edit::
You misunderstood me. I wasnt telling you to use atkins, I was using atkins as an example of a fad diet that does not work. South beach doesnt work.
Hmm. Perhaps sugarbusters. That is a bit more effective. Its not about focusing on meats its about cutting carbs and refined sugars. That might actually work if you work it into your lifestyle. Cut out soda, try to avoid white bread, that sort of thing.
::/edit::
Ok. First off, dieting isnt meant to be cute. And fad diets dont work, thats why theyre fads.
Generally a fad diet means that you are shocking your body into losing weight. Take Atkins. You eat meats but nothing that provides energy, and your body suddenly starved for carbs goes into panic mode and starts eating itself to survive.
Then it adjusts, and you stop losing weight. Then you go back to your old eating habits, and it comes back.
I'll tell you something. 5'2 and 109 is hot. As far as being in shape, that is in excellent shape and very attractive.
And something else. Having a little softness to yourself is not a bad thing. My girlfriend is 5'7 and about 150. She is in great shape, she has the tiniest bit of belly, and I think shes all the more beautiful for it. Shes soft to my touch, when I hold her I don't feel bones I feel... woman I guess.
And fat does not turn into muscle. Often if you work out alot you build muscle, and burn fat. But fat itself does not turn into muscle. Fat is made of oils and other compounds called "Lipids" which are a form of stored energy. Muscles are made of protein fibers. The body does not convert one into the other.
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First of all, I like guys...a lot. I have a boyfriend who I really like.
But I'm really comfortable with girls too. I mean I'll go to a club and dirty dance with girls. I have no problem with girls sitting on my lap or anything. I've kissed a few girls too, just for fun I guess, I was out partying with friends. And I'm totally okay with all of this. I guess I'm a bit bi-curious, but I'm definetly straight.
Is there a word for that? (link)
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Bi Curious.
Thats the official term.
I know plenty of girls who, dating wise, are straight. They only date men. But when it comes to intimacy, kissing, sex, they are flexible. I actually have a friend who is gay... She is married to another woman, but sexually she enjoys both men and women. She just only dates women (well, marries now)
Its pretty normal. Most girls are at least curious. I mean, after all, girls are pretty. Man or woman, thats pretty much a universal opinion.
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I really like my bgf possibly even love him and i know he loves me. He just told me. I may be going into a serious relationship with him soon. The thing is we have an amazing friendship and bong or w/e but im not physically attracted to him. I really wish i was. Some things i like but i have had other bf's that i thought were just SO hott but hes not like that. Hes attracted to me and i turn him on and sumtimes when he says sweet things to me im turned on but not really when im with him in person or he does sumthing. im not meaning like to have sex or anything cause we def. arent planning for that! but i would just like it if i was attracted to him. its kinda saddening that im not haha. any advice? thanx!
and is 14 to young to have a serious relationship with a boy whos 15 1/2 cause we are amazingly close and have been best friends for a year+ i think it's fine if you really care about the person but i want to know what all u guys think :)
thanks and i will rate helpful advice! ;) (link)
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I just have to point out that it amuses me the "bong" instead of "bond" typo.
Attraction? Thats a fickle thing. I cant say that Ive ever become attracted to someone I wasnt attracted to off the bat. Ive actually had a decent number of first dates in the last few months, and the girl I'm with now just had that impact. Some of the other girls were even more physically attractive than she was, but its more than that that formulates attraction for me.
14 isnt too young to date someone. I don't think that you will really get the impact of what a serious relationship is until later, but thats alright. You cant love someone until you learn how, and you cant learn how without experience in relationships.
If you want to give it a shot, give it a shot. He likes you, and he wants to be with you. Thats not going to change or go away on his side. If you think you could like him back, try to. Otherwise hes just going to torture himself.
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