Deanimal's advice column

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Q: What should i sell?

Motorcycle parts. On Ebay. My aunt does that and makes a lot. She buys motorcycles, then takes them apart and sells the parts. That's all she does.

Q: Why am I black?

Because you were made that way. Do you not want to be black? If not, you should. Hell, I wish I was. Black people are the bomb. If being black is a bad thing in your community, then move.

Q: I work in a cinema and part of my job is to make sure that people don't talk or mess around because it disturbs the other customers.

It would help me a lot if you guys would say how you think I should react in the following circumstances.

1) Group of people talking,throwing popcorn.

2) Two people making out.

3)People walking up and down the aisles a lot.

4) Little kids sitting in the aisle because they're too short too see over peoples heads(against fire regulations)

5)People with their phones on(messes up the sound)

6)Teenage boys wanking in the back row(has happened to me before)

7)People waiting outside banging on the doors to come in whilst a films on.

8)People making obscene gestures/giving me verbal abuse.

9)Having a queue, knowing we are going to run out of seats.

10) Babies crying.

Could continue but I think I've given you the general idea-my job is hard work!

1. Talk to them. Threaten them with bringing in the manager and/or throwing them out if needed.
2. Aw, c'mon, this is a tradition! But, seriously, if it's really an issue, look at #1.
3. Calmly ask them if there's a reason they are up. Ask them if they can sit in a seat. If they become difficult, see #1.
4. Ask the kids to sit down in their seats. If they refuse talk to their parents.
5. Tell them to turn off their phones.
6. Wow. That's disgusting. Shine a flashlight at them. Directly at their face. If needed, refer to #1.
7. Tell them that they can catch the next showing, and that it is disturbing for them to do this.
8. Get the manager.
9. Tell the line how many seats you've got left, and offer the next showing to those who want to see the sold-out flick.
10. Ask the parents to either calm them down or leave.

Q: does anyone no where to find a free chat log for aol, not aim, aol? cuz i love looking at old chats from a really long time ago but its a pain to always save them to word.

Download Trillian. Besides being a nifty messenger manager, it has a chat log.

Q: Ever since I was a little kid, I've been terrified to leave my house for fear of spontaneous combustion. Is this normal?

If this is real: No, it's not. Talk to someone, like a psychiatrist, or a family member.

If this is not real: yes, and we are all out to get you. ;)

Q: I've heard that some babysitters take classes at local hospitals or community centers. What do they teach you? Are they worth it? Does it matter where you go to take them?

These are VERY helpful. Being able to tell people you have taken a class, or that you are certified in First Aid, helps you get LOTS more jobs. The YMCA is a good place to take them, so is any hospital that might offer them.

Q: I am a fast runner you see and I got asked to run this thing called the turkeytrot, but Iave to run in front of the whole school. I am araid of getting lastplace should I still run?

Yes, chances are, that you are better than you think. Plus, I'm almost sure you won't get last. Have a little confidence. It'll help you run faster. :) Have fun out there!

Q: Hey everyone, i'm so tired of being a prep and since being a punk is popular now, i think i'll go steal a chunk off of someone else's culture!

And can anyone tell me how to make my boobs look like Pamela Anderson's? Thanks so much, everyone! It means a lot to me!

Boobs? I dunno, get bigger ones. Punk? Get a life. Not that there's anything being wrong with being punk, but being punk because you "feel like it" is a mistake. It's a way of life, not a fashion statement. Labels suck.

Q: I want to have a party and I want to serve cheese, but I don't think plain old cheddar is very classy or interesting. What are some other good cheeses I can serve just cut up as cubes, that people might not have tried before but will still like?

Brie is excellent for just this sort of thing. Plus, it's very tasty. I also reccomend asking your local delicatessan worker at the grocery store. They should be able to help you find some good cheeses.

Q: What's the best thing to mix with vodka?

Lemonade. It rocks.

Q: I'm not a full-on vegetarian, but I try not to eat a whole lot of meat. Frankly I just don't think it's healthy, and I don't like depending on it. The problem is that everyone around me... my family, my boyfriend, etc. is of the opinion that unless you're poor or sick, you must consume meat at every meal or it's just not a meal. When I offer to cook black bean casserole or vegi pizzas, they're just like, "that's great... and what else?"

How do I get them out of this mindset that vegetables aren't "real food"?

Although I am not vegetarian, I know where you are coming from. Meat isn't that healthy. I try to avoid too much red meat, as it is the worst. I musy say, however, that cooking meat is fun. Black bean casserole rocks! *cough* Anyway, Talk to them. Tell them that you are serious about being vegetarian. If nothing else, let them eat meat. At least you aren't forcing your beliefs on them. Good for you. If they don't think a meal without meat is complete, let them think that. You can still be a vegetarian. If, however, they are ruse about what you've prepared when you serve them food, you deserve an apology. I reccomend you demand it.

Q: do pop tarts qualify more as a "breakfast" or "junk food"? i'm aiming for breakfast here, don't let me down.

I think it depends on the flavor. While the choclate ones are my favorite, they are not a good brekfast. However, eating ANYTHING is better then nothing. So if they are all you've got, pop away. If you added some fruit or a glass of milk, that would make them fit more into the brekfast category.

Q: Is it safe to use any old salmon steak from a reputable market in my sushi, or should I stick to the stuff from the Japanese market?

As long as it all appears freash, I see no problem. I use fish from Central Market (think super-HEB) in my sushi, and it's just wonderful. It's both inexpensive and easy to find. However, for specialty or hard-to-find fish, I suggest the Japanese market.

Q: Hello guys,
I'm in the habit of baking sugar cookies for most major holidays, and this Yuletide, I was given the suggestion that, for the benefit of all my geeky gamer friends, I make D&D shaped cookies. This instantly sparked my interest. I'm already thinking about elfcookies with sparkly tunics, unicorn cookies with white frosting, pretzel sticks with a doubleheaded axe... but my friend wants Orc cookies. Typical. How am i supposed to make an Orc with a gingerbread man shaped cutter? I can figure out how to make an orc shape and trace around each one, but here are my problems:

1.How can I make brown or dark frosting that isn't molasses (too sticky) and will stay put, or dry hard so I can stack the cookies without mooshing them? I usually use a milk and powdered sugar mix that dries hard, but how to dye it brown or black?
2. What sort of edible decorations can I use for armor? Chex? m&m's? I can't think of anything good!

Anyone have any good ideas?

Choclate frosting! Dark choclate. You can use different kinds of choc, for different shades. On gingerbread, I have always been a fan of just using colored icing to decorate and skipping candy and stuff, but that's just me.

Q: *SIGH* We found Caspian. Dead. Hit by a car, as a matter of fact. What really gets me is he was about three feet from our house... he had been trying to come home! Any ideas on how to not become even more majorly depressed?

Not getting depressed sounds pretty immpossible. I assume Caspian is someone you know quite well. A family member, perhaps? Get some counseling, try to carry on, remember the good times, grieve with friends and family, shedule some alonetime, find a new hobby. Do whatever you need to do. Let yourself cry and get sad, that's gonna happen. But get some counseling for sure.

Q: ok last night i went to the movies with my friends peter and jules we saw the return of the king well all threw the movie i would talk to peter and stuf but forget a bout jules (i was siting in the middle of them) but i like this kid sean and then my sister is haveing her bday party today and her friend brian came over hes my age (14) and he had his girl friend with yhim and i was jelouse can any one tell me what this means
boy crazy

Is this a dream????

Q:
My daughter is currently 13 years old. She's fairly mature and doesn't dress slutty. Now, she has liked this guy for about half a year. Today, he asked her out. They want to go see a movie with another couple their age on monday. I don't know if I should let her go. What is your stance on this? Is 13 too young to be dating?

In my opinion, a double date at this age is appropriate. If she had asked to go out alone, then no, but as long as there are other kids, I say alright. CHECK to be sure there are other kids though. I also reccomend calling/talking to the parent(s) of her date. JUST TO MAKE ARRANGMENTS. Don't discuss their relationship, or anything of the sort. But do let her go. :)

bio

My name is Deanna: aka manrashi, banana, deanimal

I'm 15 and I like answering questions. I try to be as competent, coherant, and helpful as possible. Everyone is welcome to ask me questions personally, as it it makes me feel special.

I LOOOVE cooking and drawing and other artistic type things. I also like altering photos and making avvies/icons in photoshop, so I will take any requests for those as well. (email or IM me).

Please rate my advice, and rate it fairly. If I deserve a 2, go ahead and give me one, you won't hurt my feelings.

Pet peeve: people who answer questions just to say "That sucks, I don't know. Sux 2 B u."(If you don't know, why are you answering?) and people who say "Hope I helped!" (Obviously, or you wouldn't have an advice column)

Haha, sorry.

I'm out.
>>-Deanna->