about

Hello, my name is Sarah and I'm a sophmore in highschool. I've been through many exhausting and depressing trials with friendship and drama and know my fair share of heartbreak. If you have a problem I'll be here to answer so don't be hesitant. :]

advice

I've been feeling extremely suicidal. I have dreams of my mother handing me a knife telling me that it was ok to kill myself. I read in the bible that you go to hell if you kill yourself. But at this point, I don't think hell would be that worse. can you give me some advice on whether i should go through with this deadly deed or not?

whoa, ok first.. suicide is a BIG CHOICE.. and remember, hell is worse.. believe me.. muahaha.. but really.. You should not go through with this, and it's not like I can control you but that's what I advise. Your dreams most likely have a different meaning. Such as..

Maybe it's like she's trying to tempt you test you. This time of your life is the hardest test.. there are so many pressures and challenges that you face that no matter what everyone goes through them. Suicide is a permanent solution to a not so permanent problem. I know to get myself through I always listen to music, hold on is an especially good song if you are feeling really bad.. more so the video.. Hang in there, things will get better. Keep your chin up! :)

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well i need help becaus well i was going out with this guy and well i broke up with him for some stupid reason and he really like me well my friends told me that he was sad in his classes and kept telling everyone that i dump him but yesterday my friend ask my ex big brother wat my ex thought of me and he said nothing because he was going out with someone ever since after we broke and she asked him wat the girl name was and he said he didnt know should i belive that or do u think that is a lie to get back to me for braking up with him????????????
14/f/

'broke up with him for some stupid reason'

ahem.. but the fact that you broke up for him for a stupid reason, infers that you are shallow, and uncaring toward him.. I believe that it probably is just trying to get back at you for being such a bitch, and breaking up with him for no reason at all.. geez.. what ever happened to 'I don't want to go from guy to guy.. I would like to have a solid long lasting relationship' oh yea.. preps beat it down with their damn pom poms and fingernails.. xD

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Well, at the end of the school year, we are having a little "formal" to send off the 8th graders into highschool. My problem is what am I going to wear? Im pretty sure the dress style is formal, but I need help picking my dress/gown/skirt/whatever. Any ideas? Thanks

hm.. my school has that.. I think I'm going to wear something simple.. black straight dress and a pretty necklace, I don't think you should go all out or anything.. overkill isn't flattering..

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I like this one guy in my class. I talk to him alot and we get along well. The thing is, first, he is a grade older then me (sophmore) and second, we are two way different people. He's really smart and kind of nerdy, I guess you could say. Also, hes more into a real relationship and doesn't seem like a shallow,"want to get some" guy. I, on the other hand have never had a real relationship because I always end up finding a shallow guy and I give it all away. I really want a true relationship and I have never liked a guy like him before, I guess my question is, how do I get a guy like him, what's he looking for in a girl, and does every guy just look for sex?

He sounds like he'd be more in for an intellectual, someone he can do things with, and have things in common with. Showing yourself off probably won't work too well unless he is a looking for sex guy, which by your description doesn't REALLY sound like him..

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after i straighten my hair.. blowdry and straighten. its always staticy.. what can i do so it wont static to my face and hands ect.

try water, your hair is probably warm anyway.. and the water should take most of the static away.

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On Friday I will be going to a (non-formal) dance i want to know what to wear and how do do my hair and make-up. I need to look hot cuz my crush is going to be there and I'm trying to get him from another girl. I'm 4'6 and have sholder length brown hair and brown eyes. THANX IN ADVANCED!!!

ok.. you have more problems than what you want to wear.. for gods sakes your trying to make a guy cheat? or leave his girl friend? bad bad bad.. tisk tisk tisk.. I know you don't want to hear that from anyone but seriously! And by your size you sound like your like.. 11! gebus.. what is our world coming to!

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okay so im goin out with this guy and we've been goin out for like... umm idk a few weeks and like when we're together we always have funa nd hes really sweet and nice to mebut when we get to school then hes really mean like he treats me like S**T and i dont understand i mean i guess i knoe hes just teasing or sumthing or tryin to look cool in front of his friends well i dont like it and i wana tell him that but i dunno wut ta say? please help soon

There is no use in stalling anything so be straightforward with him, beating around the bush only creates problems. Tell him how you feel, and how you don't like how he treats you at school.. If a guy treats you like complete shit, and you tell him, and he doesn't stop.. go shop for a new boyrfriend..

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in two weeks im going to florida and we'll be gone for 17 days. I have a cat and i was thinking about asking a friend to come by and take care of him. (for money of course) I was wondering would the cat get too lonely being that we wont be around for so long and my friend will only be in the house for five minutes to feed him and change his litter box? Another option is the kennel..but i hear they are very expensive. Do you know about how expensive they are? Should i have my friend come by or take my cat to a kennel? Thanks and i'll rate you guys because i appreciate your time and advice..i too am a columnist. Thanks again..
-melissa-

I don't think your cat will be lonely. See, cats are very independant, way more than dogs at least. Your cat should be pretty fine with everything and five minutes of friend time sounds like enough. Don't buy a kennel, that would be more traumatizing to the cat if it feels trapped for a long time rather than having space to walk around.. or run, whatever cats do. :) update if you need anymore advice.

~Sarah

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okay... well me and a few of my friends are starting a band, and allison wants to play guitar but she has no friggin clue what shes doing!(iv'e been playing guitar for a few years and she just started like last week) and she was going to be a singer in the first place, but i have no clue how to tell her that she doesn't know how to play guitar, and NO i can't just go up to her and say "you can't play guitar" or "you suck" because i'm not the kind of person that can do something like that. help please!

why don't you say something like "Allison, why don't you sing? We don't really need another guitar, and you are a really good singer anyway." eh? eh? purtay good.. you'll have made a good comment about her singing, and she won't feel too hurt if she's only played for a week! ha..

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I went out with this one lad (tom) for a few weeks but he was really funny towards me infront of his mates. we both decided it would be better if we split but a few days ago i found out it was because his best mate fancied me(declan)! declan asked me out but then tom said he still had feelings for me. my one m8 says to go out with tom because i know him better but my other friend says to go out with declan because tom upset me. I want to get to know declan better before i go out with him but i still have feelings for tom. shall i go out with declan, get 2 know declan and then go out with him or give tom another chance. please giv me some advice its drivin me crazy!!!

ok first, are like british? or australlian? (bad spelling) sorry.. just you said "mate, fancied, and shall" three words we don't usually use in the USA.. ha, sorry ok, here's advice.

Maybe you should give Declan a chance, I mean, Tom let you go of his and your own free will. I think that if your relationship meant anything you wouldn't have really broke it off in the first place. I think you should get to know Declan (by the way, that is a kick ass name..), you'll find out which one you maybe like better if you get to know both of them. I think if you really aren't that 'fancied' by Declan, than you should go back out with Tom. yesh yesh.. :) Update me if ya need any further advice!

~Sarah

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I'm pregnant but I don't know if the guy I'm with is the father. I cheated on him with my ex, along the sametime as I got pregnant. What do I do? Do I tell him that he might not be the father?... he's gunna freak!!!! and how do I tell my mother I'm pregnant.. and I don't know who my baby's daddy is?

As much as your boyfriend will freak, you can't keep this from him. You also should think about telling your ex.. Get a DNA test to figure out who the dad is, at least that will clear things up. It may be hard as well, but you have to tell your parents, they may be supportive and try and help you with a few things.. All of this sounds very hard to do, but the advice I'll give you for that is to be strong.. it will take a lot to take care of this baby after it's born so you'll need all the support and help you can get. Getting a job, or getting your boyfriend to get a job is a very good idea..

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ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months now.
his ex gf is still in love with him and wont leave us alone. he feels guilty for leaving her for another girl and she wont stop trying with him. help !

Tell the guy that he needs to set things straight with his x. If he still has feelings then your relationship with him could be just a rebound relationship. Tell him that if he wants to be with you he will calmly explain to his x it is over, and that he has moved on. He can still be friends with her, but she needs to realize they aren't together anymore.

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ya my friend all of a sudden ignores me and barely talks to me anymore..and she ditched me and ditches me in the halls..and forgets bout me..and we use to be bffs till xmas break..and then she talked behind my back..what should i do..

If your friend is being like this, maybe she is trying to send you some sort of message? It's possible she doesn't want to be friends anymore, and really I don't think it's good to want to be friends with someone when they don't with you. That never works out. If your friend is really your friend they'll come around for you.

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I think about sex all the time.....but i know if it came down to doing it i wouldnt do it...I dont want to have sex but i think about it all tha time....im plannin on waitin until marriage...but wat do these thoughts mean?

These are called hormones dear. Everyone gets them, everyone has them. Your grandparents, your principal, your teachers, your parents, and your siblings.. It is perfectly normal. You don't have to do anything until you are ready, all you have to do is resist these feelings, remember all of the bad things that can come of having early sex. Stds, early pregnancy.. :) if you need anymore help just ask. :)

~Sarah

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My twin sister and I argue about 40% of the day. I don't like fighting with her, and lately I've been getting so mad at her I get destructive. I used to cut myself- (embarrassing, but true)- and I can't help but think that may be problem- destruction makes me feel better. I'm not sure. Can anyone give me ideas on how to channel my anger differently?

There is a therapy where you put a rubberband around your wrist, snap the rubberband whenever you feel the need to be destructive. The sting usually is enough for a while until you can slowly wane yourself off of it. After that I suggest a diary is a good place to pour all of that anger and feeling into. Also screaming into your pillow a few times usually helps me.. You can beat this, dont give up. :) if you need anymore advice just ask me.

~Sarah

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(sorry for the length) Ok my boy friend and I have been together for roughly seven months. A week before we started going out we would stay up till like 4 or 5 in the morning talking with each other. Now he seems to be more interested in a comnputer game than in me. When we're both online at the same time he doesn't seem to want to talk to me much. Well a few months back his friend sent me this conversation they had about me and it really hurt me because my bf said some very hurtful things about me. I asked him aobut it and he had stayed home sick the day that conversation occured and was on a lot of medicne and he blamed it on that. After I read that conversation I thought my heart broke. I want to tell him that I love him and I want to know if he feels the same way about me, but I'm kinda afraid of what his response would be. What should I do?

Well you can't just postpone it forever, you may be hurt, and it's gonna happen, sooner or later. Better sooner than later I always say. I think you should ask him, and tell him how you feel. How he really hurt your feelings, and how you 'love' him. I hope everything goes well, update me please. :)

~sarah

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Well I have been going out with this guy for about a month now. Well I was a a party and I wanted to go over to my old b/f's house which is a really great friend too and say hello. :P Well when I went over there I realized that he had moved. And it crushed me soo much. But I dont know why. Maybe it was cause I never got to say goodbye or I still had a thing for him. And that sux to even say that. Cause I am happy with my b/f I have now. I wanna know so bad where he went cause I would still like to keep intouch with him. But what I wanna know is that is it bad to think that I may still have a thing for him?

No, that's not bad at all. It's natural to have a bit of after feelings especially if it was long and lasting relationship. I think that maybe you'll have to move on though, because he obviously has, sorry if that sounds a bit harsh. I think you should start thinking more about the relationship you are in now and start to let go of the past, afterall, it is 'the past'.. look to the future. Tell me how it all goes later, or if you need any more advice. :)

~Sarah

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i started likeing on of my friends and he's 17. Im only 13. He's really sweet and he REALLY isnt a bad person. when im around him, when i talked to him, even if i hear his voice i just smile the biggest smile. I talk to him almost every night on the phone and we text each other constintly through out the day. he said he likes me and i like him also. Some of my guy friends said that they dont want me to get hurt. they dont know him. They said that 13 and 17 is a very big age diffrence, but i really like him alot. He just makes me happy and for awhile i haven't been happy. Do you think that i should continue to like him? and do you think that if he was to ask me out should i go out with him? please tell me what to do im so confused

I'm wondering if your parents would let you date a seventeen year old.. do you realize he'll be out of highschool in about a year and a half.. think about it, you will probably never see him again. You may have feelings for him, but I really don't advise anything because that is a very serious age difference.. I know it's probably hard for you but maybe you should start shopping the younger age group, like a 14 year old? :/
update me :)

~Sarah

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i really extremely am i love with my boyfriend...but I just dont know how to deal with it!! i cry out of happiness...and just being with him makes butterflies in my stomach..i try to concentrate on other things ...but all i can think about is him!!

then what the hell is your problem? did you just say that because you wish to brag your "love" all over the internet? though you are unanimous.. sorry, but this is really really annoying.. you are probably thirteen and believe that you are in love.. teh..

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ok so there is this guy and we used 2 be like bestest best frendz!! like we told each other everything and called each other everyday and when i wuz like scared er sumpin i would call him and he would tell me everything would be ok but over summer brake we didnt hang out once and he didnt call me at all but when we went bak 2 skool he started talkinn 2 me and jokein around with me again n stuff but then he met these other kids and started 2 hang with them and toatally forgot about me i want 2 get over him but i cant i cry over him sumtimes because i miss are frendship and im tierd of crying over him i dont think he is werth it but i cant stop!!! plz plz help me
sighned ~~**upset\confused**~~

Hm, I'm sort of having a similar situation I think. If the guy is changing himself for these people, you have a more serious problem on your hands. People change though, and you have to accept the fact that if he wants to be a changed wannabe loser... he can be that. Try and focus your attention on other people, and other guys. Maybe if you are thinking about someone else, you won't feel so bad about the other one.

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