heyimcaro's advice column

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Q: What is a really good moisturizer? My skin is super dry, flaky, scaley (whatever) and rough and i want it back to my baby soft skin. it is really dry from vacation (really hot/humid and tons of sun exposure) and my new acne medicine so i need some great moisturizer

I use Clinque Dramatically Different moistuizing lotion on my face, and it works wonders. It's not greasy and doesn't clog my pores and I have the same dry skin (in winter) problem as you.

Q: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=34815c2&s=5

i'm pretty sure it's a dell "studio" laptop, or maybe an inspiron.

Q: On the blackberry pearl, how do you make a certain song your text message ringtone? It gives me the option to set it as my ringtone but i don't know how to set it as the text message one. Please help! Thanks!

i have a blackberry curve and i'm pretty sure it's the same method. so here goes!

go to the 'profiles' menu (like vibrate, normal, etc). at the bottom it should say 'advanced..'. click that. then select which profile you want the ringtone on (which i'm guessing would be normal). scroll down to 'SMS'. then go to select the "tune" and browse for the one you want.

if you get confused or need anything else just leave one in my inbox (:

Q: well i got one last february.
and one of my friends got the same one for christmas.
and in her texts messages, she somehow has it to where you can see the whole conversation. kind of like an im i guess. but it's not.
she said she just thought everyones was like that, but when she found out it wasn't she asked the people at the store to help her change it back. they didn't know how.
but i really want that on mine.
could anyone tell me how to do that?
PLEASEE!

i'm not sure, but i think you just have to update the software on it. my friend has a blackjack, but it messed and and so the phone company sent her a new one, and the new one had the new text format and all that. she said they told her it was an update.

so i'd suggest taking it to the phone company's store and asking them about it. i'd guess it's free, but i'm not positive.

Q: I'm going to Florida next monday and I was wondering if I could prevent getting my period with the birth control I'm on. This week (until sunday) I'm taking my last set of hormone pills. Then I start the placebo pills all next week. Should I not take these pills or is there no way that I have a chance of it not coming? And if that doesn't work, is there anything else I can do to prevent it? Thanks, 17/f.

I don't really have experience with birth control at all, but could you just switch the weeks? Like, take the placebo pills this week and get your period over with so you'll be period-free the next week and take the hormone pills then.

Q: I was supposed to go to my friend's sweet 16 this past weekend at some hotel. Well I wound up not going because I got mad sick. So I get to school today and my friend, who was at my bffs sweet 16, told me that my bff [the one who turned 16] invited 5 guys up to the suite. I don't know how many guys actually went to the suite but my bff gave this guy who is 17 a head. this was her first bj she ever gave a guy and then he fingered her and she had freaking butt sex with him. WTF. and she didn't even tell me, I had to hear it from my friend. my bff hasnt even ever had normal sex and now shes not even a virgin [because sex is sex] and she did this with a guy she JUST MET and omg i think its so wrong. her first time was up the butt. I don't know what to do, I want to talk to her about it, but my friend said I can't mention anything to her because she said that everyone in the suite heard it and said it was sooooo gross. I'm actually pretty pissed at her, do I have a right to be? and i'm also worried that she's heading down the wrong path because she had to get her stomach pumped over the summer and she got high alotttt. ive never had a drink in my life, and ive never done any drugs whatsoever, i hate what it does to people. I feel like I'm losing her and I don't want her to become this out of control person she is becoming. I'm also 16 and i really don't know if I have a right to be mad at her. I don't know if I should talk to her. I don't know if this is even NORMAL for a 16 year old who tranferred to my highschool from a strict CATHOLIC school to be doing. wtf. any input. how would you guys feel? please answer all of my questions, I'm so emotional and confused right now. thank you.

Talk to her. Just because your other friend told you all this stuff doesn't even mean that it's true. You need to hear what your BFF has to say first before you acuse her of all this stuff. But if it IS true, just tell her everything you told us. Tell her you disapprove of all of this and it's hurting your relationship.

Q: how much do they usually cost?

would it be better to buy in store or are there any ones online combined with shipping that would be cheaper?

definitely go to zappos.com. they have free shipping now until the holidays and are sometimes cheaper than on the actual converse website.

Q: Male, mid 20's.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I don't think I'm ready. She keeps pulling this "why am I with you if we aren't going to have a future" bit, and if she was being bitchy about it, I'd snap back at her, but instead, she just keeps crying and crying.
I mean, I want to keep her in my life, but how do I make her stop pushing so hard to get married if I'm not ready?

Have you explained to her WHY you're not ready?

I'm not in this exact situation, but I've been with my boyfriend for a very long time and we've discussed this when our friends have become engaged.

I think that maybe your girlfriend is hurt by the fact that you're not ready. This is nothing personal against you, it's just how us girls work. When we hear that you're "not ready", that makes us feel like you don't love us enough to devote yourself to us for the rest of your life. Crazy as that sounds, that's what happens. So, I think you should rationally sit down with her and explain to her why you aren't ready, whatever the reason may be. Reassure her that you love her and it has nothing to do with that (as long as this is the truth, which i'm assuming it is), and just explain that it's not the right time.

Q: for my birthday, i'm having a glow party. i already got 1000+ glow sticks, so i'm set there, but idk what else to do. i really wanted to get these glow cups that i found, but i'll be too expensive, since there's going to be about 50 people there. so any ideas of what else i could have? i found a bunch of glow in the dark puffy paint that i could put on a white sheet or something and lay it over our couches, and i also am going to have a couple of blacklights, but any other ideas?

you could have everyone wear like black & neon colors- like bright yellow, bright pink, neon green, etc.

so you could wear like all white, and then stand out! (:

Q: 15f doees anyone know w here to find a sweater like this:
http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/b9/a/AAAAAqiGI_AAAAAAALmqoA.jpg
ivee been looking for something like that for a long time and it was in hollister like a while ago and i never got the chance to get it.
thannkss! :))

this doesn't look like it in the photo, but it's an off-the-shoulder:

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?catId=cat90040&productId=prod4240050

you wear it like the girl in the picture on this page (she has on that sweater):

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/category_feature_item_guide.jsp?catId=cat90040

Q: i was on this one girls facebook and she photoshopped her eyes a different color....does anyone know how to to this? i have photo filtre..if anyone else has it and knows how to do it..i really wanna do it , thanks!

I don't think it's possible on Photo filter. It's something pretty much only Photoshop users can do.

Q: my friend wanted to suck my blood because he claims hes a vampire. so i thought, cool! why not? well, when the time came for me to slit my wrist, i dug a little to deep and went a little fast, because it CUT MY WRIST, WIDE OPEN. i had used a razor and it made a very fine, half-inch-wide cut on my arm. i freaked out, and had to show my parents. but to keep them from thinking i needed help, i told them it was blodlust. but now the think im losing my faith in God, and my moms mad cuz she knows i wasnt raised this way. i was raised in a christian environment. and i know that. im not losing my faith, im still a christian. but i do have a fasination with dark stuff. eg: im emo/goth. i wear all black and really thick eye liner and i dyed my hair black. ive been severely depressed for about 3 years. i used to cut, and they found out. i also enjoy twilight and other vampire stories. i like scary movies that have to do with demons and vampires and stuff that really would not please my parents. i dont know why i like that stuff, but its a lot better than romance novels and chick flicks, in my opinion.

but my dad is sort of in shock about the whole bit on my wrist, and for today, at least, they have locked me up in the house and i cant leave unless its to let out my neighbor's dogs. i dont think what i did was a very big deal, and i dont think they care about my well-being at all. i think they just dont wanna look like bad parents because their oldest daughter slit her wrist so some guy could suck her blood.

they think i need help and i know there is nothing wrong with me. so now they barely let me out of their sight and im sick to death of it!! all i can do is schoolwork and get on my computer or read and im totally done.

what do i do? how do i convince them that nothing is wrong?? why cant they just let go?

im 16/f, btw.

NO BIGGIE? This is exactly the opposite.

You thought a guy was a vampire? Hate to break it to you, but they don't exsist.

"i dont think they care about my well-being at all." Except the fact that they were worried when you told them you CUT YOUR WRIST? And when you said your mother was upset about you losing your faith in God? Your parents sound like awesome parents to me.

ANy why do you feel the need to label yourself as a goth/emo? Just find your true self and don't just settle for what society thinks you have to be like (or not be like). Even if you don't like romance novels & chick flicks, there are other non-dark things to read and watch. It's not just black and white with entertainment, white being the romance/girly stuff and black being the dark stuff. There's so much in between, so go find something like that.

I know this isn't what you WANT to hear but it's what you NEED to hear: you do need help. You need to realize there is much more to life than cutting, vampires, and being "gothic".

Q: I am not sure what color shirt to wear under it. I was thinking brown. Help! :)

Pretty much any color looks good with cream. I personally like navy, red, bright coral, black, or green.

Q: One of my good friends just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I went to the hospital the next day and took a bunch of pictures, and I want to put them into a video scrapbook. I want to use a background song, of course, but am not sure what to use. I've looked for songs through yahoo answers, but I didn't find many I liked.

About the couple:
It's their first child & the first grandchild on both sides of the family.
The baby is a girl, so I either want gender neutral songs or girl songs
They listen to country music
They're Christian-baptist, so religious music is okay to use
I use ruckus player because it's free, so the song would have to be something I can get on ruckus.

The song doesn't have to specifically be about a baby girl, but it does have to make sense if I used it as a background song for a baby movie.

The songs don't have to be country, but those are the best because I know they would know the song.

Any and all suggestions are welcome. Please make sure you spell the song & artist correctly so I can google the lyrics. Thanks :)!

sugarland- love your baby girl

it's not really about a baby, but it's a cute song about growing up and stuff.

Q: i made out with 3 guys on saturday.
now im sick with a bad headache, really tired, fever, and my throat hurts really bad.
one of the kids i kissed is a man whore!
he kisses tons of girls apparently, which i found out on sunday! haha.
the other kid i kissed is feeling sick, and so is this girl he kissed after me.
does that basically mean the man whore guy probably gave me mono and i gave it to the other kid, who gave it to the other girl? lol

and is it even possible to get mono only 5 days after i kissed someone or does it take more time to start feeling sick..?

thanks

this could definitely be mono but no one will know except the doctor. so, go.

and btw, you sound kinda of sluttly. you might want to stop kissing so many people. you may not realize it now, but you're reputation is going to suck when you get older if you keep this up.

*EDITED: haha, i'm a hypocrite because i said i CRIED and COMPLETELY REGRETED someone taking advantage of my while under the influence? that's a COMPLETELY different situation than yours. hahaha. but whatever, i'm not going to argue with a 14/15/16 year old that thinks i'm a hypocrite.

Q: i was wondering wether i was a slut or not. i am 16 and have had 8 boyfriends, 6 of which i had sex with. i enjoy frequent sex with my current boyfriend who is 19. i also enjoy giving him blow jobs and taking his come in my mouth, on my face or on my breasts. i also enjoy it when he plays with my breasts in public.

yes. you pretty much sound like a slut.

why do you let in play with your boobs in pblic? that is digustting and NO ONE wants to see that.

giving him sex whenever he wants it makes you pretty easy. is there any love in the relationship at all? or is he just using you for the sex? because since he's 19 and you're only 16, that is definitely how it seems.

why don't you take a break for a while, hmm? go without six and a boyfriend and focus on finding someone you actually might love and can see yourself being happy with for a long time. being a slut is no way to live your life.

Q: First off, Im 17, and my bestfriend is 21. Just lastnight he admitted that he really can't have fun without drinking (I noticed he drank every night, but never thought much of it). Anyways.. I promised him that today and for the rest of forever we would find better things to do so that he could hopefully have fun without alcohol. The problem is, we live in Mount Carmel, Pennsylvania - also known as the 'coal region' where there's absolutely NOTHING to do. And I do stress on nothing. I'd say we could just walk around, but the weather is cold, and I hate the cold. Anybody have any ideas of anything we could do? Ive said bowling, but at our bowling alleys there's alcohol because your allowed to drink there. I also said laser tag, but the closest one isnt't opened today. Ideas?! please,thanks :]

I totally feel you on the living in the middle of nowhere thing- I live in West Virginia and there's nothing to do here.

A lot of people have bonfires, since it's cold here too. Invite some friends and make smores and stuff.

My friends and I go to our local park at night, haha, very late, and swing and slide and all that. Just make sure there aren't any creepers around.

Go rent movies and buy some popcorn or candy and have a movie night by yourselves or with friends.

If either of you have a game console (Wii, PS, Xbox, etc.), pitch in and buy a fun multi-player game like GH2 or Mario Kart or something and play that. What guy wouldn't love that? Haha.

I think that's all I've got besides the ones already mentioned. (:

Q: For Halloween I am going to be a lifeguard because I have been a lifeguard for two years so I already have a lot of lifeguarding stuff and it seemed like the most economically sound costume option (me being a broke college kid and all).

I was planning on wearing my bathing suit with black soffee shorts, my whistle, and a red bow in my hair (I wear my bangs swept off to the side usually with a bobby pin so I was just going to find a cute bow clip to put there instead). I want to wear one of my lifeguard shirts, however I don't want them to get ruined. I was thinking maybe I could make another shirt and put puffy paint on it. How should I decorate it? And should I cut it so it goes off my shoulders? Any other ideas on how to make this "costume" cute would be great. I am open to any ideas and your advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you =]

I'd go to like a craft store and get shirt paint or something like that to make a shirt. And yeah, I'd definitely make it a cut-off type shirt. And maybe you could wear like a lifesaver ring around your waist or those "water wing" things on your arms, haha. And wear some sunglasses, too (:

Q: today i cheated on my boyfriend of 8 months (don't tell me im a skank or anything like that because i obviously think i made a big mistake)
i was at my ex's house, seeing his sister and we sat down on his bed when his sis was downstairs, well he kissed me when i turned around and then i kissed back and i kept telling him no and i dont want to but he like kept guilt tripping me and saying nice things like i have pretty eyes and stuff well one thing let to another and we had sex for like a minute and he ended up cumming ha and like he didnt even tell me he was going to or anything he claims he took it out before he did but i dont know..

what do i do from here i seriously do love my boyfriend a lot and i want to stay with him but i dont know what to do next or who to tell or what to say?

please help me!

I have been in a msimilar situation. I didn't have sex with the guy, but he tried to finger me while i was too intoxicated to know what was going on (seriously bad decision on my part). But we did make out, and I cried for a while thinking about what a terrible thing I did.

Here's your options..
1. Tell your boyfriend and pour your feelings. If you still like this ex, then you should break up with your boyfriend.
2. If you simply got caught up in the moment and just wanted the sex or whatever, then either tell your boy or just keep it the biggest secret ever. That was my decision, and it's been fine. The guy meant nothing to me and I was actualyl disgusted by it. And I have put myself through a lot to kind of punish myself for it.

I just want to say you're not the only one in this situation. While having sex with an ex is definitely not right, things happen. We ALL make mistakes. Anything else, just message me in my inbox (:

Q: 14/f. I'm a freshman. I want to find a sport. I'm not like good at anything. I want a sport I feel like i'm wasting my life. I can't think of anything. I used to run so I can run long and short distance. I don't want to do track or cross country. Been there done that. I like football, not that great. And i'm a girl. So yea. I know I could still do it but it'd be harder you know? sport suggestions?!?!

I'd definitely suggest soccer. If you like to run, that would definitely suit you. Sadly, soccer is a fall sport and is probably almost over. Tennis is a fun sport too, and relatively easy to learn. And it's a spring sport so you can play this year.

bio

hiii! i'm caroline. i'm eighteen years old, and just started my freshman year of college. i have a magificent boyfriend who i love more than anything. we've been together over three years. he's also my best friend. speaking of which, my other best friends are also pretty fantastic. another huge part of my heart is devoted to god. he's blessed me with so much more than i deserve, and even though i fall short on a daily basis, he's still there for me, every step of the way. i'm a pretty simple girl- i love anything fun, texting, being outdoors, swimming, playing soccer, frisbee, or watching football, spending time with my family, and most of all- living my life to the absolute fullest.

to be frank, i'm not going to answer your questions about girl drama or pregnancy, because i have no experience in either of those categories, nor do i want to listen to you whine about how "we didn't use a condom" or "she's such a &*^#%!!!!". however, i'm totally open to anything else. drop something in my inbox and i'll get to it pretty quick- i'm quite the net nerd (: