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February 27, 2005Answers:
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Forget rationality.Inanity is the only way to go.
advice
i got my period last month on the 9th .. i am 17 years old and dont have a set schedule yet for my period...i have had it for 3 years now yet dont have a regular schedule..anyhow, i got it last month on the 9th ..it is now the 13 and i still havent gotten it for this month...does this mean i missed it or should i give it another week or so until i start panicking? i am sexually active and there is a possibiltiy i could be pregnant, but do you think i should start worrying NOW or not yet? thank you so much in advance, ive been driving myself crazy here.
I dare say the stress of worrying about it wont be doing your cycle any favours either. So in short, stop worrying. Take a test in a week or two but until then try and relax.
ok so ive just had a rumor spread about me. they say that as soon as this girl at my school (that i dont like)and her bf break up (cause he is moving)that i will ask her out. now im not shady and would never do this to my two best friends. i just wanna no if i should kick the kid who started the rumors ass or should i let it pass and what should i do about it please help me
Ignore it. If you think the girl and the bf have heard the rumour, and they are your friends, you could mention to them that you know about it and it is just BS. Otherwise just let it pass. If you kick his ass, which is tempting, you just make it seem like a bigger issue than it is. It is just gossip. Leave it at that.
Okay, so I played the lead character opposite a guy friend of mine in our school's spring play. The only problem was, we were good friends before, but we had to actually kiss onstage, no stage kissing, no angling it - it was real.
The first time he kissed me, it was during an excercise we were doing for our drama teacher to "develop our characters' relationship," and we both got really into it.
The day after that, he wouldn't look at me, and ever since then our friendship has been...awkward? I mean like, we used to talk about everything, now every conversation we have seems to be awkward and forced, almost as if we're afraid to talk.
The play's over now, and our friendship is sort of going back to normal, but there's still a little...awkwardness to it. I never got a crush on him, but my character definitely liked his character, and his definitely liked mine. But we never liked each other as who we really are...if that makes any sense...Why do you think all the awkwardness happened? I'm just curious to see what you all think.
It could be because he developed feelings for you, or just as likely, he is worried you now have feelings for him which he may not be able to return.
The only way to deal with this to remove the awkwardness is talk it through with him. Just tell him that you have felt a little awkward since as it got a little confusing having a relationship on stage that was different from your real life one. But if you are not interested in him in real life, make sure he knows that. Tell him that now the play is over you hope you both can go back to being friends like you were. Then he will know where you stand on it and I think it will go away.
I'm 13f and my second grade teacher, who I really really liked got charged with sexual abuse. I don't want to believe it but at the same time I know it's true. I even know the guy who was abused. It's always desturbing when it's someone you know and trust, but I don't understand why I'm so confused about this.
A teacher is in a position of trust. Part of your liking the teacher is probably a degree of trust you placed in the teacher to do right by you. Now you find the teacher isn't everything you thought.
It is hard to let go of the trust when the abuse was not directed at you. It is better to disbelieve than think your instincts could be so wrong about someone.
But they can.
A hard lesson learned. Trust sometimes gets abused.
I am 14 years old and me and my friend were ''playing'' around w/ this guy and after my friend gave him a blow job he fingered me. I would like to know how many days until I can take a pregnancy test and what are my chances of being pregnant. I am very worried because I am very skinny from anorexia and I'm afraid I will die if I am pregnant.
You're not pregnanat so stop worrying about that.
But, please talk to your parents, a counsellor ( although I'm not sure if they can discuss it without your parents permission) or even go to your library and learn more about how you can become pregnant and what sex is. At 14, you are at an age where you are starting to fool around, but you obviously don't know what you can do safely and what you cannot. Learn about contraception, safe sex, the whole lot. Then fool around knowing you are doing so safely.
Then there is the matter of your anorexia, but that is a whole other issue. You need to del with that urgently also. It can and does kill people. Do not accept it as just being part of who you are. You need professional help with that and you must do something to get it.
My best friend and I got in fight like a month ago and it awas the stupidest fight ever I cant even remember what it was... well we kinda lost communication cause she just started ignoring me(and what sucks is we hang out with the same ppl so I will be standing next to her but we wont talk) and then like last week i was aim and we started apoligizing and got everything worked out... but at school its like we still arent friends cause i will be standing right next to her and we wont say one word... it feels really awkard... but i miss her so much and I dont know what to do I mean Ive told her how much I miss talking to her... I feel like Ive been replaced... I just want my best friend back and I dont know how to do it? I have cried so much just because of the fact that i cant talk to her and tell her everything anymore... it hurts me so much at school to be standing next to her and not talk... i cant really tell anyone how im feeling cause I just want to cry... I am trying to make my self realize that were just not bestfriends anymore but its way too hard... i need advice do I need to make myself realize were just not the same or do i gotta do something and get My BF back and if so HOW???
PLEASE HELP!!!
SIGNED:I WANT MY BF BACK!
You say you have apologised and got everything worked out but that doesn't just mean your bf will suddenly be in your life again like nothing happened. It will take a little time for her to feel that close again. Next tiem you are standing next to her not talking, talk to her. don't wait for her. Just start talking to her and telling her the things that you used to tell her about your life. She will realise you want to be back as best friends simply by the way you open up to her.
Weird question, but okay.. do you find it normal to like someone alot that you've never met? I think that its normal to an extent- like a celeb.. but what do you think?
Yes sure it is normal. But try and keep it in perspective. Usually the reason you like people you have not met is because you fill in all the "blanks" as to who or what they are and what they are like personally with your own imagination. Basically, anything you don't know about them becomes what you would want it to be. In reality, they may be very very different.
What would you do if the guy you used to have a crush on that had already moved away, and you didn't think you had feelings for him anymore called your house at 10 pm and asked for you. But you trult thought you didn't have feelings for him because you already had a boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend are in love. I can't stop thinking about what I am going to tell Michael tomorrow(my old crush) when he calls! I don't want to hurt his feelings because my grandma said he was about to cry. I don't want to not pick up because thats mean. There's nothing lft to do but the wrong thing and I don't want to do that either!
Be honest with him. Tell him you have a bf that you really care about. It is OK to soften the blow by telling him you cared about him but now you have someone else in your life. It is hard, but any story, lie, deception or even just being nice to the point where he thinks you are still interested will only cause him and you more pain later on. It takes courage to be honest sometimes but even though it might hurt him a little now, it saves you both more heartache.
Okay, I'm really confused about this guy, it's drving me crazy. This boy and I are in the one of the same classes together, and we talked somewhat, and I did flirt with him, but didnt expect anything to come out of it. Well, we started talking on the internet a lot, and he admitted to me that he liked me. So me and him started going out. Well in school he doesnt talk much and it's kind of awkward between us, and sometimes we don't even talk. It doesn't seem like he wants to be around me much. For that first week, he was online all the time, and was the sweetest person to me, always telling me how much he wanted to see me, and now he's hardly ever on. I confronted him and asked him if he still wanted to go out with me and he said he did. it just seems like he acts like two diffrent people. At times he'll seem like he doesnt wanna be touched, and then the next second he'll put his arm around me and pull me closer. And he doesn't talk to me on the phone, and he doesnt make much of an effort to see me on the weekends. But, he is really nice most of the time, and really sweet, there's just nothing to talk about between us.I know this sounds trivial and unimportant, but it really bugs the hell out of me. So could someone please help me and tell me what's going on or what to do?
Who knows what is going on in his head. Perhaps he doesn't know. Instead of asking him whether he still wants to go out with you, you should have been asking yourself whether you want to go out with him. He maybe sweet and nice some of the time, but unless you are happy with things as they are now, walk away. There is little point trying to change someone. They will do it themselves when they are ready.
What do I do when I am trying to get over a guy that I am not sure ever loved me but dated another girl across the country while dating me and I try to ignore and try to not show that I still have feelings for him but I know I still do and he has been in all my dreams lately? What does it mean? How could I get him back and keep him from lieing and cheating on me if I did want him? Do my dreams mean anything?
(I am 13 female)
Your dreams only mean he is on your mind. You are confused because you still have feelings for him and you are not sure they are returned. But I doubt your dreams mean anything more than that. As for how to get him back and stop him from cheating, I would first suggest you ask yourself why you would want him back. You are 13. There will be any number of boys/men in your life over the following years. Why waste worry time and heartache over someone that does not respect you enough to be honest with you? Concentrate on yourself. Have fun with your friends or family. Enjoy the sunshine or whatever hobbies you like to involve yourself with. When someone comes along that deserves you, then this guy that has mistreated you already will simply disappear from your thoughts. You will realise that he was never worth the trouble of thinking about him. Good luck and write again anytime.
hey evryone! this is kind of a weird question, but i need help. see, i write HORRIBLE stories! it's not because i don't have a good imagination or anything, just that i always have a bad time starting (how to start, WHAT to start on, etc.). then, when i finally do, i think up this awesome story, but then i can't stop! i have so many ideas, that in the end, since i don't have time to write it all down (my awesome story) i end up having to end it with something quick and dumb. so i have a great beginning, and a very detailed middle, then in the end i write the first and quickest thing that pops into my mind and that kills the story and it sucks. so how can i find a way to start a story in the least amount of time, and how do i control all of my ideas so that it doesn't take too long so that my story doesn't suck?
Any well written story does not come about by sitting down and writing the story from start to finish. You are putting quick endings on because you are waiting until you have the middle before you come up with it. Plan your story. spend the time to come up with the ideas, then note them down just as a few words. Arrange them and make sure you know where the story ends, before you really start writing anything in full. The advantage of this is sometimes, as you know the ending already, you can put twists and turns in the story to misdirect the reader and add surprise to your ending. If you don't know the ending, you can't put those in as you write. In short, spend a lot mroe time planning and less time writing.
Hey, um, I used to go out with this dude and like we loved each other a lot. When we broke up it hurt like shit loads and like I still love him. But I hide it from all my friends and everything. I still have dreams about him and I can't stop thinking about him. Like long story short, I still love him like a lot. I've told many people that I have gotten over him and that I love someone else and whatever. But truth is I haven't. How can like how can I forget about him and just move yet like just be friends with him. Because everytime I try to get over him, but like the next time I see him I fall for him again. How can I just look at him as a friend rather than as a boyfriend or as a crush? How can I move on?
Signed, Troubled Child
It is always hard to get over someone. Time helps but it sucks because it is a very slow healer. It will get easier once you really do move on with your life. Don't go out looking for a bf just to move on, be happy being independent for a while. Once a guy worthy of your attention comes along, then yes, you will move on naturally and it will be much easier to put the ex into perspective. Friendship is easier once you have both moved forward. In the meantime, there is no magic formula to help you forget him. Just keep yourself occupied with things that don't involve him and try and make the most out of every day and every moment. Enjoy life as you are as much as possible.
So, i like this guy that i've liked in the past. We spent alot of time together over the summer of *04 and we got to know eachother. We snuck out at like 2 once and hooked up. Slowly, we stopped talking. We started talking again in January, and now were all flirty again and i think I like him again. But my bestfriend called him me "hook-up buddy" and i guess we are. But i still like him, alot.
I dunno what to do about this bc I mean I like him but at the same time i cant, i dunno why though, please help
I think your confused because you don't want to just be a hook up buddy, but you don't knwo if there is more to it. Try and work out if you like him enough to want to be a little more serious about going out and if so, talk to him and see if he might feel the same. Obviously you do like him and he likes you but I think you are feeling like he hasn't respected you too much as yet and if he wants things to heat up again, he should do so. But if he doesn't know that he will just think you aren't interested.
13/f
i can really get a guys attention weather i want to or not. the problum is im a really big flirt and people who like me think i like them, they ask me out, and get really imbarrised. i dont like turning guys down cause it makes me feel bad sence i made them think i like them but i also love love LOVE flirting for some strange reason. some people get jellous 2. it would be really hard 2 stop flirting sence i sometimes find myself flirting without meaning to. can someone help me? thanx
You are beginning to realise that flirting has its consequences. I don't want to tell you not to flirt, because personally, I have always been attracted to the girls that knew how to flirt. But maybe you need to try and keep it control when it isn't someone you are interested in. Either that, or learn how to say no very nicely and put up with the jealousy that will follow you around.
Some girls are natural flirts. You sound like one. Just try your best to be more aware of what you are doing and with who.
Hi everyone, I'm 14/f and I was j/w if it would be bad if I eventually went out with a 19 year old guy. I'm going to be 15 in May. I've been talking to this guy for a year now. He seems really really sweet, but we haven't met yet. I just feel like I'm starting to like him now. We were going to go see a movie one time, but we didn't end up going because it was really late. I decided not to go. He always used to say I'm too young and everything, so he was afraid to meet me, but then all of a sudden that one time he was going to go somewhere with me. He doesn't seem to care about my age all that much now. I'm not sure if he likes me or not, but I'm just saying if we met and everything, would it be wrong for me to be going out with a 19 year old? In my opinion, it's not that bad. I know we could both get in trouble, but he's really sweet. I've talked to a lot of people that I don't know on the internet, and he doesn't seem like one of those guys that only cares about sex. He never tries to talk about it with me like other gross guys do. I was also wondering how I could maybe hint to him when I'm talking to him on the internet again that I like him. I'll probably be talking to him tomorrow night. If we ever met also, what are some suggestions as to where we could meet and hang out since it'll be the first time. If anyone can, please answer! I just want a few suggestions. I'm soo very sorry that this question is so long. And I also know that you'll probably tell me it's a big age difference, but age shouldn't matter if you really like someone right? You could always keep the relationship a secret, and not do anything illegal with that person until your old enough and you know you won't get in trouble. If your nice when you answer, and you give good advice I'll rate you a 5!!!! Thank you so much again, and sorry about the length. :-)
Is the age gap too much? Not to me because age really shouldn't be that much of an issue. But there is the matter of expectations and you will need to deal with that if you do go out with him. At 19, he probably would be wanting or expecting some kind of sexual activity with a girl he went out with. Maybe not all the way, but he is unlikely to be happy for long with just holding hands. So that is a major issue you will have to deal with. I see nothing wrong with you going to the movies with him, dating him, but just don't let his age dominate how fast you move with him. Wait until you are ready and if he isn't willing to wait, then maybe things wont work out. Do not ever let him pressure you or feel like you should because otherwise "he will find a girl that will". That is a crap reason to decide to go all the way.
By the way, keep it simple sure but don't necessarily keep it a secret either. That rather implies there is more going on. If it is just going out and you are not doing anything wrong, there should be no reason to keep it a secret.
One of my best friends just told me that she liked me today. She asked me if i had any feelings about it and i said not yet. The problem is that i don't really know if i like her as more than a friend. I used to like her like about a month ago, but i stopped. This may not make any sense but i want to like her as more than a friend because she is one of the nicest people i know, but i just don't think i see her that way. Is that possible? I don't want to hurt her and tell her that i'm not interested but i don't want to go out with her either. What should i do?
Be honest with her.
Tell her how much you do like her as a friend but you simply don't know whether there could be more and at this stage, you are not ready to find out. If you are sure the answer will be no, then tell her that now and save her holding out for something that may not happen but if you really dont' know, tell her that instead.
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There is no "right" way to masturbate.
It is just whatever feels good.
The answer in your case is to play around and find out what feels good to you.
As for whether or not it is a sin, that depends on what your religious beliefs are. I don't think it is, but some churches think differently. Either way I don't think it is so bad :)
I RATE 5'S FOR ANYONE WHO ANSWERS! I PROMISE!
ok.. right now i have a very small quantity of friendds... and my one BEST BEST BEST friend... well she's friends with my boyfriend and they're both on the same bus... so they spend a lot of time together... but i don't see my boyfriend as much as she gets to and yea im jealous of that because they are really tight... so she walks with me and him into school and thats like the only time i get to see him... and i never get to spend time alone with him in person cauz she's always there... and she knows i don't like that she always has to be there cauz ive talked to her about it... so now i wait for him at his locker in between 8th period and 9th period but only every other day cauz of my schedule.. and my friend got mad that i wasn't gonna wait with her anymore and i explained to her that i never really get to see him and i really wanna see him and she was like "so!!! i want you to wait with me!" but i said no! so today i was waiting at his locker and he came over and then my friend was right behind him... and she's like "Whats up?" and i got sooo upset because she always has to be there... and when some reason... when she's around i get really shy in front of my boyfriend and i don't say much and i don't know why... so she walked with us in the halls and he was barley talking to me... because me and him are both REALLY shy and since we don't get to see eachother alot... its hard for us to have a good conversation in person... but online... we talk for hours... so i got really upset and wouldn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day and i wanna talk to her about it... but i don't want her to get all upset because i value my time with my boyfriend since its very limited and i don't want her wasting it!!! im just sooo furious... please help... sorry its sooo long
p.s. i don't hang out with my boyfriend outside of school cauz he's one year younger than me (he;s in 6th grade and im in 7th) and his parents won't let him.
also, my friend said that the first time i have my boyfriend over my house i have to invite her cauz she wants to be there... and i told her i can't make any promises.
Tell your friend again that you are fine with her being there sometimes, but sometimes you want to see him on your own. If she is a worthwhile friend she should understand that.
If that doesn't work, tell your bf the same thing. Tell him you want to see just him sometimes and you are fine with him hanging out with your friend as well, just not all the time. Again, if he is smart, he will understand that also and maybe he can speak to her. She might push her relation ship with you a little but wont if both you and your bf are giving her the same message.
She is probably just feeling left out if you meet alone so be nice about it. She can't help it if she gets jealous sometimes either.
*sorry this is so long but i really need help!* okay so my best friend has been with this one guy *bob for like 5 months. they never stop fitin n im always in b/w it! c *bob hated me for the longest time and he wud always start fites with my friend and tell her how she shudnt be friends with me... well she didnt listen but she also never stuck up for me! but dont worry im over that now! but just recently they broke up and fought every day since and then yesterday they got back together and broke up last nite. the problem is me and *bob put all of our feelings of hate aside and now we are friends! im really glad we dont fight anymore but now its causing problems with my friend! she always wanted us to be friends but now wenever we talk she usually comes up in the convo bc *bob still loves her! i feel really bad and idk wat to do! so my friend says she hates him and he makes her sick and stuff... but she still talks to him! (??idk y??) so now hes askin me to tell her that hes sorry and all this stuff and shes asking me wat to do! ive been in b/w all of their fites for 5 months and i really dont want to be involved anymore! i tried to tell my friend this but she doesnt listen and juss got mad at me... so my question is... do i help her? or do i try to stay out of it? please help me!
Stay out of it and make it clear to each that you are not taking sides, not helping one and not the other, just staying clear of it because you are friends to both of them. They should respect that.
Hey, okay i'm very attracted to my best friend. I would like to go out with her.Were both girls and i'm 14 and she's 13. She said a few times it would be easy if she could be with me and that i understand and care for her better than anyone. We have experimented 3 times and we loved it just being with each other being close and intimate. I want to tell her how i feel but i get more scared when i get infront of her face. I hate rejection! It's not that i've been rejected by my friends or guys or anything i just hate it. I even feel bad and low when i call someone and they can't talk or when i ask her if she can come over. I end up getting this pity look like she's doing me a favor if she went to my house. I hate it because i make good time to be over their at her house and she can't because of her mom and her little sister. I'm very afraid and when i wanted to ask her today i just looked at her like i was doing the worst sin in the world. I feel dirty when i wanted to tell her how i felt today. I just wanna keep it a secret that i have feelings for her so i can not have rejection and still have her as close to me as we are now. I just feel like a complete loser for asking a girl to be with me. I want her to do that and then i would fall into her arms and we'd feel the love between each other and i wouldn'r feel like a loser.
OK, well there is no way to go through life avoiding rejection unless you want to lock yourself up in your room forever. So it is the fear you need to deal with before anything else. Froming reading your post, it seems you are very insecure about who you are and whether you are a worthwhile person. You lack confidence. There is no easy way to gain it, but you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Once you start to gain confidence you realise it doesn't matter if you get rejected, because you are strong as an individual and someone elses choice is up to them but shouldn't affect how you see yourself. The mere fact that you have a good friend like this and feel so close suggests to me that there is a lot to like about you. You need to start to see that for yourself.