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Info about adoption?
Lets start off my saying I'm only 15, so I have along way to go before I'm even ready to start thinking about taking a child under my wing, but I just want to start by being well informed about the adoption process and how it all works to if I do decide in the future that I would want to adopt, I won't be such an amateur. I can't handle small children, I do a lot better with older children so I probably would want to adopt a child 10 or older. I've tried researching this but all I could find was the adoption process of new borns. I don't know if it's the same of current at all. If any of you know a reliable source, or are well informed about this process, I would love to hear it, thanks in advance!
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If the only reason you are thinking of adopting a child, one that is older because you want to avoid young children, then I feel I must let you know that people change and mature greatly from childhood to teen yrs, and teen to college age and college age to older adult. You may still feel the same once you are old enough to adopt. But you also need to know that scientific testing has shown that the pre-frontal cortex of your brain is still not fully developed and this is one that helps with understanding and tolerating others, making good decisions, able to see possible drawbacks down the road to any choice you make, too judgemental, making snap decisions, etc.
Your body may be fully mature by time you graduate HS but your brain won't be until at least your mid 20s. Scientists settled on an average of age 25 but it can be later for many, not really have the total capability to make sound decisions until you are 28, 29 or even into 30's. So in the time that passes, you may find you do actually like younger children and may want your own or adopt a younger one. As stated already, it is really tough to deal with many of the other children up for adoption as their life may have so far been hell and its so easy for them to have bad attitudes, be drawn to getting into trouble simply to get attention, even bad attention, and so on. It would take someone who has possibly taken some studies in psychology just to know how to handle them. Some kids may appreciate having a loving home but others will still be in the 'lash out at people and the world mode'. And just think, it will be hard to reason with them as their minds are also still immature so they won't be able to realize that their adoptive parent is not someone to fight against.
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Hiya! Dr.D here!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
I have a cousin who was adopted. She is, I think like, 14 right now. Her name is Katelyn.
Before you adopt any child, you should know that if you adopt a child in your home country, the birth parents are allowed to track the child down and take him/her back into custody. So this is where my story on adoption comes in. We adopted Katelyn from Russia.
Now its one of the best places for you to adopt, because the chances of a civilian of getting the money to leave is almost little to no chance. Same goes for China. Actually my best friends sister was adopted and she is from China. Another good place is North Korea...but, we are having some "issues" with them these days.
So make sure your child is from a different country. The best part about adopting a child from another nation is going their yourself! I went to Russia with my cousins so they could go adopt her. We got to see Moscow and red street and peters church. Places like that. Winter palace.
Anyways! As far as the process of adopting a child, there are a few procedures, like one you need to have a clean record, have a steady life. From what I saw my cousins did. They were in a office in the orphanage signing many many many papers.
But I want you to know. That these children, arent exactly stable. When they come out of their, its almost like they feel outcasted, and aren't happy. When my cousin found out about her being adopted when she was like, twelve. She changed. She now calls her adoption father by his real name all the time. And now she treats them terribly. And she'll say things like: "my real mom was a lawyer" or "my Dad would.." so on. we all know its all lies since she was a year old when we adopted her. But she is different.
But if you want to adopt a kid at age 10. Just be careful. These orphanages really mess them up. Just keep them happy, and love them.
I hope I helped. I know your only fifteen, and I bet your a great girl but you should just think about the possibility/difficulty it is to raise one of these children.
-Dr.D
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I am not familiar with the adoption process other than it does differ from state to state. One thing in your favor is you would be looking to adopt an older child which are harder to place for adoption verses an infant or toddler.
The best place to get the information your looking for would be you local Child Welfare Office. while your there asking about adaption information ask about the big brother and sister program. This is a program that someone like you should get involved in a be a big brother or sister to an older orphan in the states care.
What this does for you is gives the agency an opportunity to get to know you and see you interact with the children in the age groups you are looking to adopt. This will definitely help as the preference is to have children adopted by couples. If your looking to be a singe parent you are going to need all the help you can get if you wish to adopt. Being a big brother or sister is a step in that direction.
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