So a couple months ago I moved to a new state. Me and a few of my old friends still keep in touch. Lately I've felt pretty jealous of my friends. When I call my best friend, all she talks about is what her and my other friends have been doing. I miss my old life so much. We don't talk as much anymore and it honestly really hurts, some don't even talk to me anymore. I don't blame them in any way, I know how hard long distance friendships can be. I really don't wanna talk to them about it, I've never been very good with that kind of stuff. Is there any way I can make these jealous feelings go away?
DrD answered Wednesday May 24 2017, 2:55 pm: Hiya! Dr.D here!
Jealousy. It can make us do some stuff we are not proud of, or make us feel emotions that we can't tolerate. I bet you loved your friends. And you miss them so much. But the key to moving on is going forward. You should try to focus less on your friends before, and try to focus on making new friends now. Be in the moment, dont let the past get to you. And I have a friend, me and her are no where near each other. But we make it work. We lose contact now and then but she is still one of my greatest friends. Trust me. Your friends wont forget about you, and you shouldnt forget about them. But I suggest you do things now like your hobbies, focus on your new school and making new friends there. And since you've moved I bet you got a cool new room. They say when you have a house, you have a hobby. Think about all the ways you can decorate it!!!! It will take sometime, but thinking of other things will help distract you from what you miss.
I hope I helped. Take care, and good luck!
-Dr.D [ DrD's advice column | Ask DrD A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Wednesday May 24 2017, 2:22 pm: Before getting rid of jealousy, one must understand what jealousy actually is. It is connected to the emotion of fear, specifically the fear of loss. It can be loss of anything, a boyfriend, a job, etc. This fear of loss doesn't usually manifest until there are other people that you are comparing yourself to and feel they are a threat to you getting the guy, or you getting promoted at work, etc. Envy is wanting what some one else has and knowing its not possible.
So plain and simple, you are envyous. Maybe jealous that they have each other and since you are not around, worried that they will no longer want to be your friends. Still I feel that since you didn't mention new friends yet, that you are envious because they are having fun and you are alone. So it would seem reasonable that the solution would be to make new friends. If that is hard, then get involved in activities or special classes in your area. Go after things you have an interest in, if hiking, join a liking club and make new friends who have that in common with you. Like playing board games, there are clubs for that and many other meetings at Meetup.com not a dating site, just organized meetings/groups. Practically anything you have interest in, you can find groups and thereby easier to befriend people with same interests as you, Once you feel you have the same things they do, local friends that you can actually do things together with, then you will no longer feel envious or jealous as you call it. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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