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Its weird when my friends are nice to me?
I don't know what's wrong with me tbh. My friends use to tease me A LOT in hurtful ways but that was like a year ago. I don't know what happened this year but they are much more nicer to me and it freaks me out!
I know I am suppose to be happy but It just feels so alien to me. When they are being nice I don't know how to respond or act, I get shy and nervous.
We fight sometimes and that's like the time I get to be myself.
I avoid hanging out with them because of this, I now usually hang out with another friend who teases and insults me a lot, I also insult back and feel a sense of PEACE and FREEDOM.
Oh and you must think I am some kind of bitch but I am not, I like giving and making people happy and I don't do it to get something in return.
Am I just weird?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
A real friend should not be insulting you or inflicting hurt on purpose. That's not normal unless you have mistaken lighthearted ribbing as something bigger or have a lot of sensitivity. The keyword here is hurtful remarks. Why would they suddenly change their behavior? I don't know.
If your gut makes you feel as though you shouldn't hang out with them now than it's telling you this for a reason. You're better off. You should never feel nervous around anybody or not wanting to be around them. This is your clue that you need to jettison them.
As far as the new friend goes explain to them that you value friendship but think it isn't doing either of you any good to insult one another on purpose. They should agree and all will be fine.
As far as feeling a sense of peace and freedom in retaliation yes, that's weird. Why would you feel happy about the same thing that hurts you being felt by them?
I think what you really need is a therapist to work through all of this and your feelings, self-worth and anxiety.
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Hiya! Dr.D here!
And yes, you are weird... Just kidding!
I see that those friends find you closer then before. People tease, and say things in playful manners. But I think they Just see you as closer. I knew this one guy, and he was just an absolute jerk. Couldn't stand the guy. then next year came. And he was being nice. We talked, laughed, and got closer. He eventually left again but we actually became friends, even though he was a terrible person to begin with. People change. And its not weird. I say if you think they are your friends. Then dont let this opportunity stop you. Take it, and keep it close.
Good luck!
-Dr.D
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If we are talking middle school, HS or early 20's, a change of friends behavior getting better, more mature is actually normal and doesnt have to come with any ulterior motive. The ages I mentioned are times when people are growing and learning very quickly and maturing and choosing to reform their behavior. I know of a couple people who were mean to me all of my HS school days but sometime as it got closer to graduation, these people came and apologized and wanted to recieve my forgiveness. S what you described is entirely possible. The only think that can cause problems for you is your own memories of before, overthinking it and distrust. If you try to be friends with them but can't handle it, then don't associate with them. Hopefully, someday you will mature even more and find it is easier for you to forgive. Forgive doesn't mean you forget what they did. You keep your eyes open for repeating bad behavior and if it occurs, you let them know if they do not stop that, you will stop associating with them. Stand up for yourself.
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