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Would it be rude to ask my roommate when she's moving out?
So long story short I live in an apartment that I pay for through my college and I paid 2k for summer housing and was told I wouldn't have any roommates.
I was really excited because I've been living with my current roommate for a year and until about 3 months ago we got along fine, but then she started becoming more and more irritating. She would constantly invite friends over until 3am in the morning, was having her boyfriend live in her room (and trying to pretend he wasn't), was becoming a huge slob completely wrecking the kitchen to the point it was so gross I didn't want to step foot in there, got in an argument with my dad twice when he visited (which was only twice), and invites her ENTIRE family to stay in the apartment without my permission.
Obviously I feel very uncomfortable with her now and I was really looking forward to her being gone and having a place to myself for 3 months (I'll be getting new roommates in August). Well summer started two weeks ago and she's STILL HERE and I'm very aggravated.
She was supposed to be gone by latest last Friday. Last night I walked into the living room and her family was sleeping on the floor, which made me angry.
I feel like I cant go to the kitchen or even leave my room so I keep having to eat out when I just bought groceries to avoid running into her or her family.
I want her OUT! She has all her stuff all over the living room like she's planning on leaving, but she doesn't. I feel like she just plans on staying until the school finds out and kicks her out.
However, I also don't want to make a scene if she managed to get late stay and I just wasn't informed since I'm actually moving into a new apartment in 4 days.
Should I just wait it out or should I ask her when she's leaving?
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The question is who is responsible for the mess. If you can wait just 4 days and then beat it with no backlash than great. Keep you head down for 4 days and then split.
If you are responsible for keep the place clean and it is trashed, you may lose your deposit. You may need your roommate help cleaning. Just try to get the plave clean the day before you leave.
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First of all, it was wrong for your dad to give her family permission to stay. The second mistake was your going along with it without going to student housing and reporting this. From apartments I have rented, only the people on the lease are able to live there and responsible to pay. You did not mention if roommate was there unofficially or if she is on lease. If she is on the lease and was supposed to leave by a certain date, you can also complain to authorities about that. I assume she pays to stay there. If she doesn't, she had no legal right to continue to stay. Check with student housing. You may have to give another week deadline and if they are not out the next step would be calling police to have them all removed including her.
I would think that back at the time she was consistantly staying up til 3 AM. I know that police can be called if neighbors hear too loud a noise at the wee hours of the day. Not sure it works for a roommate but it would've been wiser to also share that complaint with student housing. When someone is being a problem in your life, especially in serious situations, you want some kind of track record of their behavior and your complaints. Since you are going to a new apt in a couple days, You won't have to worry about this anymore. Although if she is breaking a rule by allowing her family to stay in her apt. and you have knowledge of this and didn't say anything, once found out, it could affect and jeopardize the apt you have to yourself if they want to be sticklers and say that you should have reported that. And since you didn't, that they don't trust you now either. When ever someone else is doing something wrong, its best not to choose action or inaction that will make you look as if you were in on it, agreed and was okay with breaking the rules. I understand there is a grace period for having visitors to come stay with you for whatever is deemed reasonable. But if they have actually moved in to live, and its not a stay during a vacation, then it is likely not okay. Any special 'housing' usually has those rules. When I left my husband, I needed a place to stay until I could set in motion a place for me to go live and went to stay with a close friend who was disabled and on low income housing. Can't remember the time limit but I remember it being a few days to a week at most or she could be in danger of losing her place for letting anyone start shacking up there with her. So just make sure that you are ok, on the level and blame free with student housing cus you don't want to wait until they discover it if you haven't said something first. I know many of us don't like to be labeled a 'Squealer' or a Narc but if anothers actions are going to possibly affect your good name, then that takes priority and you are not exposing roommate and family just for fun and to be mean. But doing so to protect yourself in case this could possibly come back at you and bite you later, is a very important thing.
Wishing you good times at your new location.
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Hiya!
Your roommate sounds very impolite, messy, and, a child. She clearly does not sound like an adult. Or act like one. I say ask. Dont say it in a rude way, just say: "I thought you were suppose to leave Friday? And are you staying here longer?"
Because its true, she is violating the agreement made when she is suppose to leave. Also, you seem to have more power over the apartment. You pay for it clearly, but how is she? You can't have her treat you like this. Ask, and if she is staying, then go down, and make the place kick her out.
Over the summer I had my nephew over, and trust me, I love the guy. But sometimes he can be a slob, and doesnt do anything to live here. So I went straight up to him and said to him "If your gonna live here, you need to play by these ground rules. And you need to make a contribution to this place."
I hope it helped. Help yourself, not that parasite.
-Dr.D
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Why make a scene with her if you are moving to a new apartment in 4 days. Go to student housing and find out if she has received a late stay. If she hasn't then inform them she hasn't moved out and let them handle it. Inform them her family is living in the apartment as well. This could be a violation of the fire code. If so they will want to correct this immediately as well as to bill her for her and her family for staying in the apartment.
If she says anything to you about you going to student housing, just ignore her and say you know nothing about it. Just go about getting ready to move to your new apartment and make sure you move out when you are suppose to if the new apartment is ready.
IN short it is best to let the school handle these things.
Should something like this happen with your new roommate, such as having her boyfriend live with her fulltime, an occasional overnight should be expected, you should let student housing handle the problem not start a fight with your roommate.
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