Today me and my niece got in a fight. Shes 6 years old. She stays in a different city and slept over by us. She kept having an attitude and then when i was geaching her to swim we got in a fight. She kept going on that my house is so boring so i said if shes so bored she can then go back to her dad. And we kept fighting. Eventually she started crying and said she wants to go home and we spoke and cuddled and we seemed alright and then she went home. I feel really awful about it because i dont see her much and i really didnt want to hurt her shes like my little best friend. Do you think she'll still remember about it tomorrow? Or not want to come again?
I wasn't there but people with experience around kids over time know what to let go of immediately and or make an issue of. Getting into a fight with her is a line as her aunt and not her parents isn't right. That's why you feel badly as it should not have reached that point.
If she has enjoyed being around you at previous visits and seems fine around you afterwards than in all likelihood she's fine with you. Perhaps it's a side of you that frightened her at first and wanted her parents out of being uncomfortable.
To be honest with you nobody can tell if she will remember it or is upset by it but her and or her parents. If there were a pattern of this kind of thing between you, their daughter and or other kids than maybe she won't be back in the same setting. I'm being honest that it's a possibility. When a parent gets offended over something like this that the child relates it can be like that.
However, I think this isn't like that. However, you need to talk to her parents tell them how much you love your niece but that something happened at the pool, she wouldn't listen and it became an argument. Tell them how awful you felt about it and don't want it to impact the future. It probably won't if you explain what occurred and that you want to correct it.
Tell them that you feel they aren't around enough and had been wanting to see her more and not drive any of them away. It should be fine for you would have to have done something so awful or said something that was to get them all angry or offended. I doubt that this is that situation.
Also, other columnists below mention that kids often express anger is HUGE fashion be it tantrums, throwing themselves down on floor, yelling or telling you they hate your guts. Minutes later if left alone they go back to being fine. In all likelihood it's a bigger deal for you than the 6-year-old in end but do have that talk with her parents and explain you know nothing about raising kids and din't handle this right. That's all you can and should do. [ solidadvice4teens's advice column | Ask solidadvice4teens A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Friday December 23 2016, 5:23 pm: I assume you are not a mother yet as you ddidn't mention no children/cousins.
Plus you don't see her often enough to learn by repition whats the best way to handle children. Lots also depends on their individual personalites. I couldn't train one child the same as the other, didn't work. So don't feel so bad about yourself. Chalk it up to a learning experience. Now you know the way you choose, wasn't the best way.
This is typical behavior for a child. For some, it is hard to be away from parents, or with relatives they don't see all too often and may not feel very comfortable with. Temporary change like this is enough to put a child out of sorts. When the attitude began to show, it was a cry for help and understanding. I am a grandmother and have more experience now. What I would have done is ask her what was up. "You must be feeling bad being away from Mom and Dad. I'll bet you miss them. I really wanted to see you because I'm your Aunt and I love you. The plan is for you to stay with us for a few days. I think these days might be happier for you if you could talk to your parents on the phone and tell them what you've been doing here. How about we call them now?"
Emotions are strong in children but they also have no control over them. Her crying and stating she wanted to go home was one of two reactions a child will have. The other is to yell that they hate you. They are smart and know that hate is a strong word and they use it again as a tool to convey to you how frustrated they are with you that you are not figuring out what they need even when they aren't quite sure what that is either.
She might remember something of fighting with you. Depends on how much of an emotional impression it made with her. But with kids, its like temporary storms that come and go, not lasting long. She may remember being bored at your house cus its not set up for kids, even if she brings her own toys. She wants something new and exciting that she doesnt get at home. I had nothing at home for a grandchild so I went to dollar stores finding whatever I thought might entertain my granddaughter or even something not quite a kids project. Example, I make my own bracelets and necklaces with stretchy cord and let my granddaughter make her own or help her with it and then she had a memory to take home with her. Got play doh and we did all sorts of things that she had an interest in. Your sibling could let you know what she is really into these days, like for example "Dora the Explorer" and then you could have a coloring book of that waiting for her next time. The thing will be to build up her anticipation for all the special things she has to look forward too next CHristmas, starting with calls a few weeks before she comes. The boring last CHristmas is quickly out of mind when shes focused on the things to look forward to. You could make it more special by taking her to see the Santa in the mall and getting her picture taken, keeping one for you and giving one to her parents. When you think back to what made holidays fun for you, even baking a some simple Christmas cookies will be exciting for her. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
rainhorse68 answered Wednesday December 21 2016, 8:46 am: It's not that usual for a child of develop and bear a lifelong grudge against an older person based on one bad experience. Their attention span is not really that long, and their responses to good and bad experiences is often passionate, but somewhat short-lived! You (as an older, authority figure) are either hero or zero for a brief spell, and either way you tend to begin with a clean sheet on the next encounter. Perhaps you could send her mum an email (to be reported to her, of course!), saying sorry we got into a silly fight before we parted...love you...can't wait for next time...let me know what you'd like to do...etc. That will probably make her feel awfully grown-up and important, and planning the next meeting. Or you could just let it go. It's all hate you...love you....hate you again...and so on... at that age but like we said, the emotions are as fleeting as they are powerful in the moment. [ rainhorse68's advice column | Ask rainhorse68 A Question ]
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