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my parents are so frustrating!!!
i'm from india. I do have the most uncaring parents in the world. They don't care about my emotions. My father always keeps snooping around my things and then there are the questions like, "who's this boy?" or "why do you have so many male friends?" and they really frustrate me. My mom never supports me; they both expect me to spend my days in studies and STUDIES ONLY. If i've to buy a top for myself, its mom who's going to choose the color and design and everything. If i've to wear earrings, its she who'll decide if i should wear gold rings or diamond tops. My opinion is never asked(and my parents are not the coolest ppl around). They want me to cut off all connections with my friends. They are too busy planning for my future to care for my present. And the worst thing is that i'm constantly told that they are spending a lot of money on me, and if it would have been any other person, i would have probably starved. if i ask for something(which i don't anymore) i'm shown the monthly bill. even if they give it to me, i'm not spared of some heart-wrenching comments.
i've got no siblings or anyone i can share my feelings with. my parents pick up fights with me all the time. i keep telling myself that there will be a time when i will be on my own, but its too long (I'm just 14).
i feel suffocated all the time and sometimes i just wish that the ground would open and swallow me up.
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I don't think I can fully explain why your parents are the way they are but I will try.
First it is in the culture of your people that their children must excel at their studies. I see this here where I live in the USA and hear about it from people like yourself writing to us. As a parent I can't blame them for wanting their children to excel in school it is something all parents want for their children so they can have a better life than we have.
As for mom picking out your clothes and what you wear. To some degree I can agree with you, if you lived here in the US that you need to be able to dress to some degree as the other kids in school do. When I say some degree I mean with I the norm of what is fashionable and affordable. As a young teenager you start to learn to sociable and how to exist within the adult world. Fashion and making new friends are all part of growing up.
Once again culture and the fact you are female are getting in the way of what you want your parents to allow. Your culture is very strict when it comes to what girls are allowed to do from how they dress to their social life. In many parts of India a girl is expected to be a virgin on her wedding night. This may have something to do with why your father asks you why you have so many male friends.
Yes your parents are being very strict and there answers to you could be better said but it is there way and you are not going to change them. I don't have any answers for you on how to fix anything for it is my belief your parents are this way because of their belief in the culture of your country.
It is my hope that knowing the why of how they are will help you understand them better. For if you understand the reason for something then you can hopefully deal with it better. About the only suggestion I can offer is to sit down with your parents and ask them why they are the way they are with you. Tell them their strictness cause you heartache and real pain. Hopefully if they understand you they will talk with you and maybe an understanding can be come too.
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I feel like this too. My parents say that they are just "strcit" but there is a fine line between being strict and just simply lashing out at your child and forbidding everything. Please try and wait. I know it's frustrating, but there's nothing you could really do about it. If anything, they just care about your future a lot and that's why they want you to focus on your studies. They don't want you to buy too many things because they want to teach you to save money. Please hold on and try to get through this. I know 4 years may seem like a long time, but it really isn't. It'll fly by.
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