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Should I tell him? Why is he acting he like this?
My boyfriend and I have been arguing about random things lately now and then. I sometimes feel that he is trying to find an excuse, I don't know why. Recently he just asked me about my car, and what year it is. (Its a mercedes s550 2007). I told him I don't think a person's car or what they have is what should be important but the person themselves. I said I don't ask about your car or your business. We had fought about my previous car as well, as he wanted to use it for a few days since I am no longer using that one. I feel like he is always analyzing me and trying to figure something out from my answers. Shouldn't the women be doing this? Anyway, today he asked again and I still did not tell him, I asked what does it matter, it doesn't matter for me. He said it does because it defines your personality and if you don't tell me what year your car is then who knows what you won't tell me later on in life if we get married. I wrote back if it's something important of course I'll tell you but unimportant topics like this shouldn't matter. He went offline. We have been seriously thinking about marriage soon but how would it be if we happen to argue lately about everything and our minds are very confused. I just don't know what to do, and should I tell him my car year (aka feed his egoistic curiosity). I don't know anymore. Thank you...
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Why do you have so little trust for him, that it's important for you to withhold the make of your car?
That's your problem. You think he's controlling and petty, and he's pretending the make of your car is a serious trust exercise.
You've both lost the plot entirely.
Is this a long distance relationship?
Should you tell him the make of your car? Yeah. If you want to be a relationship with this person why the fuck would you withhold that information? There is nothing to gain by not telling him. It's even more petty and childish. to withhold that, than it is for him to be asking it.
If you don't want to be in a relationship with him, because he asks petty, childish questions and acts like it's the end of the fucking world if you don't care about the answers, that's as good a reason as any to dump a guy.
I don't know why trust has broken down this badly, but if you actually want to fix it, take a deep breath, tell him what the damn model is, and then tell him why this is not acceptable behaviour. The answer to that question isn't the problem. The problem is utter lack of trust and respect you are showing for one another.
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Sounds like you don't trust him or his motives and based on what you have written here, I would tend to agree with you. Cars do not define your personality! But if they define his, then that is only one of several problems. He is baiting you by promising that you might get married. Men think this is a woman's dearest hope. Not always true these days. It's also not always true that women are supposed to grill their partners and constantly analyze and find meaning in their answers. Trust your gut on this one. If you don't trust his intentions, don't trust them! Stay strong and my bottom line advice? Walk and maybe run from this guy and find someone who appreciates you instead of your car.
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Sounds like both of you come from families that are never up front with their intentions. Maybe families that always have an agenda. Look deeper within yourself, and "clean out" your baggage. If you guys are meant to be together, he will do the same.
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