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Mom Has Kleptomania and Got Arrested For It
I don't even know where to start with this. My grandmother died about seven and a half years ago and it was really hard on my mom. The two of them were extremely close. They saw each other and/other talked on the phone everyday and my mom is convinced that my grandmother's death was her fault. She died from complications of cancer. It was out of anyone's control, but my mom keeps coming up with ways that it's her fault and won't listen to anyone tell her it's not.
She has battled depression since then and because of that depression, she's developed kleptomania. What's disturbing Is that pretty much everything she's been caught stealing is something she would never want, but rather, something she obviously planned to.give to me or my sister. We're the people she steals for.
She's been arrested twice and hard charges pressed against her both times. She hasn't gone to jail YET, however I'm afraid that the next time she's arrested, she will. It breaks my heart that she's risking doing that to herself and that she's creating all kinds of other problems.
We live in a small town and people here know she steals. When she goes in certain stores, the employs are either jerks to her or they watch her like a hawk. They won't let her hold or try on anything and they always try to get her out of the store as soon as possible.
People don't like or trust me either. I go into stores and I too get watched like a hawk. I couldn't get a job at a clothing store in college and I wonder if it was because the owners were afraid I'd steal from them. It's not fair because I'd never do such a thing, but I get judged for being the daughter of a thief. What's strange is that the reason I wouldn't steal is because I was raided against it. My parents taught me that stealing was wrong because it was against the Bible, against the law, and it hurts other people. Once my mom THOUGHT that I had stolen a CD storage case in middle school (I hadn't) and almost had a conniption fit. I was raised to know that stealing is wrong, but people still don't trust me because I was raised by a thief. I was in college when my mom developed her problem.
It hurts me as well to hear the things people say about her. They call her scum, garbage, low life trash, and other such things. They say they hate her, they hope she gets arrested and that they get to be on the jury, and things info that nature as well. It's hard because these people aren't the people she's stealing from. If they were, I'd be more patient, but they're being so judgmental. My mom is not scrum, trash, or a low life. She's a good person with a good heart who just had a bad problem. She's the best mother my sister and I could've hoped for. When I tell people my last name, they as if I'm related to my mom and (unless it's someone who knows about her problem), they go on and on about how nice she is. They tell me stories of acts of kindness she'd done for them and tell me how we need more people like her in the world. She HATES when my dad watches Lizard Lick Towing because she hates seeing people upset, even when they kind of deserve it. She HATES going to the doctor because it makes her cry when she sees someone who is sick, injured, or disabled. She gives to charity and gives the credit for it to me and my sister. All certain people know about her is that she's stolen merchandise from stores and they judge her as being a piece of trash and gate her for it.
After the last time she was caught stealing, which was very recently, she received a huge fine and was ordered to get psychiatric help. I'm hopeful that she will change, but I feel like we have no choice, but to move soon. We need to get away from this small town were people judge and hate us. But what if my mom relapses and this happens again wherever we go. What am I gonna do? Is kleptomania ever cured? Has anyone here ever dealt with this before?
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Well, just ignore the other people. I know its easier said than done but you know, that your mother didn't become a Kleptomaniac on purpose. she was just depressed her mother died. i know how she feels because my mother died from a car accident. we both were very close.
It was likely that she would get depressed.Very depressed but you and your sister are surely there for her, you need to help her, soothe her, and stick up for her. tell her that stealing is wrong. she does it for you right? so she'll listen to you.
YOU can be her medicine.
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To your next job interview, wear a T-shirt proclaiming in bright large extra-bold: "Doth the daughter bear the inequity of the mother?"
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Your mother needs to want to seek help from a Dr. as asked. SHe also needs to be able to admit she has this problem and also want to change. I am no Dr. myself but I do know that sometimes the actions we take are based on our own distorted thoughts. Sometimes, distorted thinking is just a bad habit and sometimes it stems from a mental illness. If she hasnt sought a Dr. yet, I would suggest seeking one who deals with CBT and other non medicine treatments first to see if that helps. CBT is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you live in a small town, there may not be such a Dr. available. So you may actually have to make the moving to a new town but research first to see which ones have Psychologists who do this type of treatment, leaving only medicine as a last choice which often is very few cases. For most, if the patient is very ready and willing to face whatever caused them to go down this path and improve and heal, their issues can be solved. I don't know what can start kleptomania but you did say that all these problems started when she lost her mom and the progression she went thru could easily have have some impact on whats going on today.
As for people assuming you might steal from them and not being able to get work yourself, you can't change their backwater style thinking. Its best to move also for your future in finding work. But unless Mom gets treatment, if a town is small enough, amd Mom goes without treatment or doesnt respond to treatment fast enough before reoffending with stealing, then word will get around and neither she nor you will be able to get a job. If Mom resists treatment and doesnt want it, the only thing you can do is move off somewhere else on your own. It really is her choice to want help or not. And no one, not even you can influence her in any way to see a Dr and embrace the treatments. Good luck dear!
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