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would you go or no?
my cousin is engaged to be married, well the bum she is marrying physically abuses her and sadly she had two kids by this bum...well the bridal shower was yesterday and I did go to that and gave a gift, the bum wasn't there, just the family.....and not his family....lmao.... I figure id go to something since I do not want to go to the wedding....I can't bear to witness an abuser marrying his foolish abusee ...what would you do? boycott the wedding and don't go.....or just go....
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Sometimes isolating and rejecting a victim of abuse is the worst thing you can do to them.
If you want to be someone your cousin can turn too if she needs help, then you should go.
If you can't be respectful of the event, or don't want to be the person your cousin turns too for help about her relationship, then don't go.
But please, don't publicly declare a 'boycott'. You'll simply cause more drama in the family - drama that could further isolate your cousin and limit her ability to seek help from family members if she needs it. If you personally, cannot bare to go, then don't, but also do not pass judgement on those who do. It's a complicated choice and everyone who goes is doing their best to act out of love. Don't be an ass to them just because they have chosen to show love in a different way than you have.
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You may not agree with the choice of person she is marrying however, you LOVE and support her. Not going to the wedding would crush her and likely lead to tension between you. I would go to support her and by ding so that doesn't mean you endorse his behavior either.
You could tell her that you hate what this person has done to her and her kids and that you really have a hard time with it and going but want to support her but don't like him. That could lead to tension but if you feel you need to get your feelings across than do so but expect blow back.
Also, you may not know the full story about this man and his struggles. Abuse is never to be tolerated however it may be fueled by addiction to alcohol or substances and 90% of the time he may be loving and a decent father to those kids. That may be why she stays. They need professional help and not scorn from others but it's up to her to get it.
It is your choice not to go but you had better have another excuse or something conflicting with the date rather than telling her it's about him and abuse as it will be like standing on a hornets nest. You can just not go and if it comes up explain you couldn't make it but I think you should go to support her especially if others plan to not attend for whatever reason.
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Hey!
If I were you I just wouldn't go to the wedding at all. In my opinion, I don't think it's right to boycott a wedding because it is supposed to be their special day. One reason why she is marrying this guy could be because she's scared of him. Another thing you should do is bring this to your family's attention that she's being abused, and that it is wrong. It's also wrong to be raising children in that type of environment, this man could easily start abusing his own kids. So bring this up to your family, and your cousin. If they ignore you then just don't go to the wedding at all. I hope this helps!
-Swimmer133
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