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I need to know if my moms behavior is normal.
My mom just completely freaked out, yelled at me, and cancelled a trip because I drew on myself. To me, it seemed like she had overreacted, because she talked about how stupid it was and compared me to a baby. I'm 16 and female. I just don't know is this behavior is normal. I feel like it isn't, but she is always insisting that this is how it's supposed to be. I just don't know what to think.
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This is emotional abuse.
Your mother obviously did not want to go on the trip in the first place and she is using you as an excuse.
Karate chop that sow!
Miss Piggy
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I remember kids in school using markers to draw on themselves, usually nothing controversial or in bad taste, like best friends drawing a heart and writing their names and 'best friends'.
Now depending on what you drew, if lets say you drew a person being hung by a noose or wrote the word SLUT on yourself somewhere, I can see Mom being upset. As a parent tho, I'd have to side with adviceman, the punishment seems extreme if you indeed did draw something very bad or distasteful.
However, I have a different background and perspective based on whats happened in my life. My first husband was verbally abusive so when you mentioned the examples of things she said, a lot depends on tone of voice, not just the words said.
I'll explain.
Take the comment, "Gee, don't you look nice today." It could be a true compliment cus your friend is dressed up in a cute outfit. But on the other hand, use a different facial expression and a teasing tone, and the compliment now becomes a friendly jab at how weird or wild they look, like perhaps a strange Halloween costume.
There are better ways to get ones point across without demeaning someone or belittling. My ex would chew me out in front of family and friends saying things like are you a stupid child or are you an adult. I have many many people who will attest to the fact that when I was verbally abused, there was never even a slim reason for an immature person to react in such ways and treat me so. This went on 30 yrs til I divorced him.
I am wondering if this is a one time incident for you. My guess is that it isn't because of how I interpret, I just don't know is this behavior is normal. I feel like it isn't, but she is always insisting that this is how it's supposed to be.
Its the word always, which you used. If left out, it would mean in her self defense she was speaking of this one incident as how a parent is supposed to treat their child. With the word 'always', it means that this is an established pattern of how she overreacts or treats you including belittling, shaming, basically verbal abuse.
I wonder if there is a father in the picture you can talk to? If so, and he has not been a witness to the times she's treated you this way, then ask him if he's seen this behavior because in truth, either your mom is extremely stressed about something going on in her life and could use some counseling support or it may be a sign of mental illness as it was for my ex. IN that case, she'd need a mental health professional working with her but she'd have to be willing to admit she has a problem and wants help and most people in this situation are in denial and will subconsciously do things to point the finger at others to get attention off themselves and get others to thinking someone else is the reason why they lose their temper and over-react.
If there is any more info you can share, things she's said, exactly what you drew and where and the actual words you said to her in response that may help a little. And if there are other past instances of this kind of behaviour and whether you're the only one she's doing it to or other siblings or husband also, that may have some impact on this problem.
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Did mom overreact? Without being there and seeing what you drew and the circumstance surrounding her actions it would be hard to say. Remember there are two sides to every story.
Mom may feel drawing on yourself is immature. I on the other hand may not. so if I were to judge her simply on the grounds that you drew on yourself then I would say she over reacted.
What you need to do is find out what mom really felt. Was she really upset at the fact that you drew on yourself or over what you drew. If it is the later then she needs to explain why she found it offensive.
There is also the possibility that you drew on yourself because some of your friends are doing so. While my mother would have said just because Jane jumps off the bridge doesn't mean you have to follow her.
What I'm saying is maybe there is a reason you have for drawing on yourself. Maybe you wanted to see what it is like to have a tattoo. While the thought of a tattoo will really freak her out the ink you used will wash off a tattoo is permanent.
Do you see what I'm getting at. Mom has to hear why you did what you did. You need to find out why mom freaked out and we need to hear both sides of the story to tell you if she went to far.
Would I have cancelled a trip? That depends a lot on the other side of the story but it would be an extreme punishment for an extreme misdeed and at the moment I don't think you have reached that point.
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