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My boyfriend is homophobic. Should I dump him?
21/f
I was on the phone with my boyfriend last night. I was at my best friend's birthday party before he called. My best friend is gay and my boyfriend knows that. He said how being gay is sick and how those people should be killed. Needless to say I was shocked. I tried reasoning with him but to no avail. He even got mad and wanted to skip meeting me for about a week. I called him out on that and he said he will meet me after all. I just won't ever feel comfortable around him again. I love him very much,but him saying such things about my best friend is disgusting. He would hurt a gay person for no reason. What if he kills me too? I am,quite honestly,terrified. Do you think this is a red flag? Should I run from him while I still can?
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If these are not your beliefs I cant see how this relationship can continue.
He should be more open especially these days but if you are against his views on this, This is a BIG deal.
you can try to talk to him again to see if you get some clarity but if not it may be best to part ways :(
so sorry
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Yes, you should dump him.
He expressed bigotry and violent intent. That is a person you run from and keep your distance from. Not a person you try to convert or argue with, just a person you get a safe distance from.
Please don't go on trying to convince him. I understand that might feel like the right thing to do, but it's really not. You did the right thing when you reacted clearly and honestly to initial hatred. He's not confused about where you stand and it's not that he 'doesn't know better'. He knows better. He is choosing hate. He is expressing violent intent.
Dump him and keep your distance from him. Not a safe person.
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Tell him about how gay people are no different then other people because someone could probably say to him ew people who date are nasty someone could say that and tell him "How would you feel if you were gay and you get people yelling at you for being gay or tell you that you should die" He would probably respond like "I'm not gay and never will be and they should all die"or something I don't know just tell him that being gay is not bad and say I'm going to give you time to think about what you said about gay people.
If he changes his mind and you love him stay with him if he doesn't change his mind but you still love him then stay with him a bit longer until you are sure you don't want to be his girlfriend anymore.
Or just dump him.
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Yes DUMP him. There is no reason or place for homophobic people in today's society. As you must know being Gay or Lesbian is not a choice it I how they are born. Scientists have proven this. IT is not a disease that should be cured or could be cured.
Strange as this may sound to you and me today but left handed people were looked at way back when as some people look at Gays' today. Left handed people were forced to write with their right hands in school. They were considered freaks of nature. Today we think nothing at all of left handed people it is how they are born.
Hopefully someday society will look upon gays and lesbians as we do left handed people. Until then people that what to do them harm are likely to harm others who do not agree with their beliefs. This puts you in danger.
If I were you I would send him an email and tell him you do not wish to see him any more as you cannot love someone who is so intolerable of others who may not be as he is. Let him figure out what you are saying.
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absolutely you should dump him. Tell him WHY and that you will NOT EVER tolerate ANYONE saying such things about gay people. You are not that way and you certainly dont want a partner who is that way either.
Its OK for him to not feel COMFORTABLE with it, its TOTALLY another to gripe, and say disgusting things like that. Get rid of him ASAP.
I hear that you love him alot but if hes this way with this kinda thing then what ELSE is he capable of in the future, say if you were to have kids with him and one of THEM turned out to be gay?? that child would face a life time of being shamed by their own father. Thats awful and if you can prevent bringing a child into a world like that then you should.
you can do it. good luck ; )
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