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9 year old son
My son is 9 years old. He has been diagnosed with aspergers. We have tried counseling , therapy , medication with no avail. We recently just switched to another therapist this past week after being with our last for two years. He has anger issues. My ex husband was abusive as far as locking the kids in bedrooms pulling down his pants to spank him kicked him with a steal toe boot etc. His best friend was taken by social services recently and we haven't seen them since. Another friend and down syndrome and passed away. I bought him a puppy to try and help with the loss of friends and responsibilities he wants nothing to do with the dog he says he loves him but doesn't want to take care of him
He is constantly yelling and screaming calling us all names. If I ask him to do something it's no no no until I hate to actually yell at him to get him to do anything. I have spanked him before I feel like I spend all day yelling and him and it's not good for either of us. I just don't know what to to anymore.
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He needs a psychiatrist to intervene not a therapist that doesn't have the skills to tackle the situation. Spanking and yelling do nothing but make the issue 10 times worse. A general doctor should not prescribe medication for a psychiatric issue. By all accounts what you think is Asperger's Syndrome may be a bigger illness that needs ruled out eg: borderline personality because many of the symptoms look similar or bipolar. I cannot diagnose and will not but have persnal experiences where I would recommend you get him a psychiatric evaluation. He can look sweet and normal or different to a general practitioner but a shrink who spends considerable time figuring him out can see exactly what truly transpires when he is at home.
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I suggest support groups for parents of kids with Aspergers. Or you might find the help by searching first for the broader group, of anything that qualifies as part of the Autism Spectrum disorders of which Aspergers is one. I have heard of so many great steps in understanding of all the autism spectrum disorders and how to best meet the need of those with the symptoms and the parents and family of those who have it. It just sounds like you have not yet come across the right health professionals here.
I am sure you can find many support groups on line. I did a search for aspergers suppport groups and got a lot of hits of which here is one. I think it would be good for you to search for more.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Talk to your family Dr. and ask to be recommended to a professional who specialized in aspergers or autism spectrum disorders so You can have the best help possible or ask in the support groups on line.
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This is a tough one because only YOU really know your son and its not for us to tell you how to raise him basically.
What i CAN say is that at his age, a child can get VERY fuckin sassy, and give you a bunch of guff about every little thing until you enforce the rules on him in a way that will let him know "im mom and you WILL do as a i say without complaint" Some kids can just be harder to discipline then others and sometimes it TAKES a doing whatever you have to do in order to get through to that child.
Its always been my belief that even a child that has learning set backs and things like aspergers can still do as their parent asks them to do in a timely fashion. This is alot of times from what ive seen with other friends who have children with this disorder that you have to be more on top of them than ever before.
It might help that when you need him to do something to walk up to him and ask him to stop what hes doing and stand over him while he does it so that he knows you WILL stay on top of him while he does what you ask UNTIL he can do what you ask WITHOUT you having to stand over him. Also the sooner he does what you ask, the sooner it'll all be over with and he can go back to doing whatever it is he wants to do.
Theres no reason to yell and scream in order to enforce. With my son and i its a simple request that i make, and if i dont see results, i ask him if i should get the slipper.
No one here can tell you "the right way" to raise your child or what method of discpline to use, that all depends on you.
I personally use the slipper or shoe method with it comes to spanking, i use the same shoes i wear outside and when they act up i tell them calmly to look at my shoe. They remember that thats the shoe i used on them the other night and that im ready to take it off and use it on them if need be in a private place like a bathroom.
they then see it and comply and no one else knows what im talking about.
good luck
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