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advice please!
Embarrassingly I'm 21 and female, terrible self esteem, but I dont find that a problem, as the they say, if you haven't got the confidence fake it! Well here's thing I find myself soo lonely, I'm nearly always broke and I live on my own, I want to hang out with people and make friends, but I dont know where to start, friendships use to come easily, but now, as I've drifted from my last friends I realise I need to make the effort, but I never know what to talk about.. I would invite people to go places but I never have money! On advice on how I can go forward, what I can talk about, any fun/interesting things to do for free? I need to stop being such a loner! Life is so boring!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Adviceman mentioned making your list of things you like. I have something to add. To find others with the same interests, try meetup.com and it will bring up your citys meetups based on where you are using a computer from. Scroll through all the main titles and check out some of the subtitles. I have seen board game playing groups, people into energy healing, walking groups for Moms with kids in strollers. If a group doesnt exist you can create one for others to find although that does cost a little to set up in this site. But i would start with showing up at other groups. All meet in public places like the meeting room reserved for them at a local library, at a coffee shop, at a community center, the cabana of apt bldg, where ever people can meet for low to no cost. You could even host a meet up group in your home with the topic being something near and dear to you. Perhaps if there isn't one that addresses support to others in same boat of single, looking for relationship experience and having low self esteem, low self confidence, then perhaps you could start one. You dont have to have all the answers, this is for the members to discover together. There is much info to be found on the internet that is helpful. I can see a group that meets to view something from the internet together on a tv screen to discuss afterwards, the pros and cons of anyones experiences so far and have all bring snacks to munch while doing so. This way, you'd not only be solving some of your problems but together you all may be able to help each other.
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Surprisingly there is there are many ways to go out meet people and have a good time without spending money or spending very little money. It requires some work on your part but it can be done.
Start with making a list of all the things you like to do. Not a mental list but actually put pen to paper. List everything you might enjoy doing. Maybe you like hiking or taking nature walks, listed them. Do you like reading, list it. Maybe you like Art, photography, science even your church list them all. Now number them from 1 to how ever many you have.
Start with the top 5 and research what activities your community might offer. Start with your local park and recreation office. You can also use the web to find different activities. If reading is your thing many bookstores offer book clubs space to discuss different books they are reading. You would be surprised at the ages of people in these book clubs.
My sister and her friend are knitters. They formed a Knitting & Hookers (Crocheting) Club That club has blossomed from the two of them to over 50 women in our town to clubs being formed in other places. They meet in public places, my sisters meets in a Panera's restaurant during their slack hours in the afternoon and evenings. They have women from 16 to 68 who come to knit. Panera's likes having the restaurant look busy and some of the women buy coffee cookies or cake. Some even stay for dinner.
There are clubs for almost every activity you can imagine. Most cost nothing to join. what is nice about joining a club or activity you enjoy is you don't have that awkward part of not knowing what to say since you already have an interest and can talk with confidence on the subject.
Many of these clubs are coed and you never know you could just find a boyfriend if your interested in finding one, even if your not it could happen.
Give it a try and let me know how it turns out for you.
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