Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


Friendship drama


Question Posted Tuesday October 20 2015, 2:14 am

My group is two people who I'm really close with. I'm going to call my friends M and B. So me and M have sleepovers just the two of us, and M and B have sleepovers just the two of them. Recently B realized that we have never hung out/ had a sleepover just the two of us. So we had a sleepover and when M found out today about she got really pissed at us and hasn't talked to us since....

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


theadvicenator answered Saturday October 24 2015, 9:13 pm:
Honestly, what M is doing is not fair to both of you. She had sleepovers with both of you separately and therefore doesn't have the right to get mad at you if you're having a sleepover without her. In this situation, I think M was feeling special because she hung out with both you and B separately and you and B never really hung out so she might have thought she was the better friend. When you and B had a sleepover however, M might have felt mad because she had lost her spotlight. It might sound unreasonable but this is probably what happened. I suggest talking to her and making sure you three only have sleepovers with all three of you so no one feels left out and you don't get stuck in such situations. Hope I helped!

[ theadvicenator's advice column | Ask theadvicenator A Question
]




Dragonflymagic answered Wednesday October 21 2015, 4:20 pm:
If you are teen girls, then there's a good chance M's hormones may be responsible for her getting really angry and still choosing to not talk or associate with you. the hormones of puberty will change a girls emotions so their emotional responses are beyond what is reasonable for a situation. Then again, at any age, a person can be still immature in areas, never having really grown up or learned relationship skills and how to communicate effectively, not just when happy but when upset. Of course, she feels left out. I dont understand why it always was just 2 people and not 3 for a sleepover. I guess she isn't thinking about the times you were not included when her and B had sleepovers. Perhaps no ones house had enough room for a bigger sleep over?
Give her time to cool off before approaching her. Even though technically, you've done nothing wrong, the best way to get her to warm up to you both would be for both of you to apologize to her if it hurt her feelings being left out. Then resolve to find ways where all 3 of you can sleep over. Reassurance is needed besides the apology. Assure her that she is still as much your friend as B. You care about both of them, and one is not any better than the other, her and M both have enough of their own unique qualities that one could never be a replacement for the other. Then stroke her ego next with compliments. It must be genuine where you tell her exactly what it is that you like specifically in her that B or you don't have. Lastly, in resolving issues, its always best to bring up issues using I statements instead of you statements. She still needs to know whether you felt left out or if you felt it was okay that M & B had sleepovers where you were excluded. example: instead of "You made me feel left out," use "I felt left out when I wasnt a part of your sleepovers." Good luck.

[ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: This girl is alway appearing in my dreams?
Next Question >>> Friend might really like me...what do I do!

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker