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This girl is alway appearing in my dreams?
So I have this friend let's call her Natalie,we've been friends since kindergarten and let's just say I was never the best friend she could ever have growing up but I've changed and matured as a person, when we were an elementary school I wasn't the best at keeping secrets but now I learned my lesson and keep everyone's secrets. So basically me, Natalie and this girl were friends, Natalie and the other girl claimed to be "sisters" I was the third wheel with them and tbh the only reason why Natalie and I were still friends were because we've known each other for a long time, it was a new school (high school) and our parents are close. So summer of grade 10 Natalie had a crush on this guy, but the guy had a crush on my other friend. Natalie told my other friend to stay away from him cause she liked him, my other friend aka Natalie best friend that she calls a sister didn't listen and long story short that friend made out with him at his house, so Natalie cut him off. They made this whole situation my business when they would fight over me at lunch to see who i would hang out with. Natalie would always say "I've known you since kindergarten you've only known her since grade 6 so hangout with me at lunch" when in reality I'd rather hangout with the other girl cause she's always treated me better than Natalie ever did. So I told my mom about the situation not knowing she would tell Natalie's mom and Natalie's mom told Natalie and then September of grade 11 Natalie yelled at me in front of everyone saying I should mind my own business and I shouldn't have told my mom, cause I knew better and that I'm fake. Then later that month she forgave the other friend even after how many times they fought and even after she went for the guy she liked, but all I did was tell my mom and she cut me off. That's when I knew that Natalie and I were never friends to begin with, she was waiting for the moment that I would do something for her to be mad at me so that it would give her an excuse to cut me off. So The whole school year Natalie ignored me, if I walked behind her she would close the door in my face, if I was near her she'd give me a dirty look. By June of grade 11 it's like her spirits changed cause she said hi to me and she was smiling and she said sorry when she bumped into me. I'm the type of person who doesn't like knowing if someone doesn't like me, you can dislike me all you want but I don't want to be aware of it, so since I knew she disliked me it bothered me the whole school year till that day she said hi so it made me feel better. It's senior year now and I don't really care about her anymore we don't talk but since our parents are friends my mom is always talking about her mom so Natalie's name is brought up in my house one every two weeks. So my question is why does Natalie keep appearing in my dreams when I go to bed? It's annoying sleeping and waking up to her I my head they're not good dreams either they're always of us fighting cause that's technically how we left the friendship, in a fight she never apologized for yelling at me that day btw. I tried talking to her all grade 11 year but she ignored me until June and I don't wanna talk to her now because she's really really rude and she'll make a scene what do I do?
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While asleep, its our subconscious mind that takes over the running of everything, making sure we take our next breath, wakes us if theres a sound out of the ordinary, and it controls our dreams. This is our emotions are tied to the subconscious mind. It can be good things, things we fear, or things that make us unhappy. If you are seeing her in dreams that are more of the same trouble you already have, your subconscious mind isn't ready to let the issue go and ignore her as your conscious mind wants to do. Your subconscious is trying to tell you that while everything is over and good in Natalies mind, its not over for you, there are resentments and hurts that have never been taken care of and healed. Going to her and talking to her/having your say, is not going to make you feel better. It could rock things up and get her harrassing you again. You dont need to have anything to do with her to deal with her in your dreams. While awake, you need to work with your conscious mind. A few truths about what happened in the past, about life in general, if you can accept and be okay with them, is generally all you need to stop a recurring dream on a subject matter. I would guess that you need to inwardly forgive her. She doesnt need to hear the words cus shes not hurting, you are. What you think or better yet, speak out loud and address to your subconcious mind will eventually have its effect.
So here's 2 things that I think may help. First, the hormones of puberty in girls don't stop affecting them once they start a period and their breasts have grown, they continue on to run havoc with emotions which go out of control. Instead of just sad, they have crying fits or depression, instead of just a little irritated, they have uncontrollabe anger and for no good reason at all.
So its hard for teen girls to treat each other well cus the people they dump on while their emotions are out of control are those closest to them, either Mom, sisters or girlfriends.
Second: All humans have bodies that mature long before the brain is done maturing, or specifically the pre frontal cortex which partly is responsible for making good decisions. It doesnt finish growing until our mid 20s so any good decision or problem solving is very difficult and non existant in some teens.
A combo of the two are likely responsible. You were affected by and still likely are, by these things which are a phase of life. Because its not entirely intentional, due to these things, forgive her. ANd have sweet dreams.
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