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Is It Childish to Miss Your Mom?
Is it childish to be in college and to miss your parents, especially your mom? How do you handle that? Especially when you haven't been away from your mom for more than three days in YEARS. Like 16 or 17 years. My mom's not far away and I'm lucky because I'll never go more than a week without seeing her, but this still sucks. I'm excited about the good times I'm gonna have in the future, but still. I miss my dad too, but I'm used to being away from him (he travels a lot). Does anyone have any advice. Am I completely childish for missing my mom and dad at my age?
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I went to university at 17, and moved into res. It was such a shock that for the first few weeks I sat my stuff animal on the corner of the night stand and each time I left I told him where I was going and when I'd be back.
So, you are less crazy than me.
The answer your question, no. Not childish. Your life has gone through a major change. It's okay to miss the familiar and to love your family. It's great to have those close relationships with your parents. They probably miss you too.
But this is also a really exciting time in your relationship with your parents! You've got a chance now to start building an adult friendship with them as well as your parent-child relationship. There is more you can talk about, more you can share and relate to another. They get to watch you become an adult and you get to meet them - not just as your parents - but as adults.
It is sad to move from home. Change is always a bit sad, but there is a lot of good in it too. Make sure you don't loose sight of that.
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Enjoy the close relationship you have there. A mom will always be a mom no matter how old she gets. So a mom can be in 70s and daughter 50 and a child even at that age can miss mom such as when she passes on. This is a lifelong relationship and the most special one as she birthed you and gave you life. Life can't be the same as when you saw mom daily living under their roof. You will have a life of your own and not see mom on a daily basis anymore but it shouldnt affect your relationship. Even once married and having your own kids, visits to see mom/grandma or her coming to see you and your family are wonderful. Different isn't bad, just different. Give yourself time and you will eventually get used to this new phase of your life but you wont miss mom any less.
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No it is not childish. What you are suffering is called being homesick and is normal. Even kids who have gone away to summer camp suffer homesickness when they go away to college. Part of the reason is they are entirely on their own with no true adult supervision to tell them what to do and when. With the exception of your class schedule your time is your own.
This will all pass as you get into a routine of things in school as will going home each weekend. Slowly but surely you will go home less and less as you make friends and find more things to keep you at school each weekend.
My advice is to relax. Enjoy the college life. Make new friends and get into the spirit of college life. As you do the homesickness will fade away.
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Hi there. It most certainly is not childish to miss your mother while you're away at college. And missing dad's not childish either, though as you point out his job kept him from sharing as much quality time with you when you were younger, so you're a bit mor 'used to' the idea. I'm sure he'd have wanted things otherwise, but of course he'll have weighed-up the fact that his job was keeping you and his family in a secure financial position, able to have nice things and not worry. That's a big responsibilty of many dads and I'm sure he chose right. I'd bet anything too that mom and dad miss not having you around too. The house will feel 'different' for sure, and they'll wonder about you a lot. Are you happy, taking care of yourself and so on. At ths same time they'll take a pride and pleasure that you are making new friends and acquaintances, and gaining a valuable education. They'll like to think that you're enjoying the fun side of a college/university environment, and of course working towards a carrer that you'll like and pays well. What mom won't want to think is that you're feeling unhappy, lonely and home-sick, and missing out on the fun. Being away from home in education is a rather special and unique period in our lives. It can be stressfulat times, but it should also be a lot of fun. So take advantage of this one-off time. Try to engage in all aspects of it. Really, mom's not going anywhere is she? She'll be right there, waiting to share the time you're home, and listen to all the stuff you've been doing at college. You can share a laugh about the fun bits, and talk over the things that are not so good and she can offer some good advice. Or just be a good listener. Dad will want to be in the loop as well, hearing all about how his daughter is making her presence in the world known, won't he? You aren't childish at all. You're not telling me "I can't cope with the demands of life away from my parents." That would be a bit childish maybe? That relationship you have with your mom is also unique. It doesn't depend on living in each other's pockets 24/7. It's a deeper love than that. And it's a life-long thing too. The new friendships and your feelings for your parents are not mutually exclusive. They exist side-by side. You CAN enjoy both. Good luck with your academic studies, and remeber to have plenty of fun too!
ps. Have a good chat with dad. I'll bet you anything there were many times when he was on business travels he would have missed you terribly. Felt that he was missing out on seeing you grow-up day-to-day. He would never have stopped loving you. He handled it. So will YOU!
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