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how do i make sex easier?
im 18 f and my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time on the weekend however we had a really difficult time to actually get him to fit inside me. i know that probably just because i was a virgin however i want it to actually be pleasurable for both of us rather than a puzzle we have to solve. i also think that we should perhaps try some other techniques in the bedroom because its probably easier and more rewarding. so i was just wondering wether anyone had any tips ect
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I had the same problem, and tbh I would go to a sex store and get lubricant makes it way easier.
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Sex for the first time is going to be a problem mostly for the women. Even when she is more than willing she will involuntarily tense up the muscles of her vagina as a reaction to the pain she anticipates having in from losing her Hyman if it is intact.
You’re now past this point and sex will get easier as you learn to relax and enjoy it. for right now the missionary position and lots of foreplay and oral sex if your partner will provide it, will go a long way in making you relax and making sure your own lubrication has prepared you for penetration.
Some other things you can do that will help you relax.
1. Make sure where ever you are having sex is safe and secure. Meaning you will not be intruded upon or interrupted.
2. Make sure you have enough time. So having sex at your parental home and trying to do so before a parent comes home is not a good choice.
3. You must be comfortable not only in your surroundings but on what you are having sex on. The back seat of his car, some old couch in the basement or on a rug on the floor of the basement are bad choices for comfort.
4. Lubrication: Make sure you use lubrication even if you are wet, especially for the first few time. Even if you tense up a bit good lubrication will help.
You are 18 now an adult in the eyes of the law. Certain privileges come with being an adult. One of them is having a sex life. TO your parents you may still be a child and they may get upset to find out you have an active sex life. Fact is they cannot punish you for having one. Facts are they can no longer punish you at all; you are an adult now.
Being an adult also means taking responsibility and being responsible. This means taking the proper precautions against unwanted pregnancy. You no longer need parental approval, even if using parental insurance, to see a doctor. Now that you have an active sex life you need to see your GYN for birth control.
Until you are married or in a long term, living together relationship, you must always insist that your partner wears a condom when having sex. This is your only protection against any STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Never believe a partner is a virgin or clean unless he has proof and then still insist on condom usage.
Men don't like condoms because it dulls' the feeling. Tough they are not the ones that get pregnant or who want to get pregnant at some time. If they want more sensitivity they can purchase the more expensive Lambskin condoms.
When I was your age the girls had a saying, "No rubber, no lover." That say was good then it is even better today.
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Being physically a 'virgin', or in other words having your hymen intact, shouldn't be a difficult anatomical barrier to prevent your boyfriend penetrating you when he is fully erect. It's just a very thin diaphragm around the entrance to your vagina, not even closing it in fact. And since women give birth your boyfriend can't be 'too big' to fit, as it were. I'd say almost certainly it's nerves ABOUT starting full sex that is making your muscles clench-up and tighten. It's an involuntary tensing, the way many of our muscles do tense in moments of stress, nerves and anxiety, it's something we've all felt. Once the muscles 'down there' as we might say, tense up it is indeed very difficult for a gut to penetrate you. Think how difficult it is even to open someones clenched-up fist against their will? Because you aren't tightenning up deliberately, it's very hard to relax deliberately to overcome it. Sort out any stuff that's making you consciously or subconsciously nervous. Has he got your full trust? Are you sure you want to have sex yet at all? Have you got a proper birth-control method all agreed and sorted so you aren't worrying about an unwanted pregnancy? Are you nervous about 'how you will be' (performance-related anxiety is the proper term, and very common in the first sexual encounters of a relationship)? Breathing deeply helps us relax, try that? Maybe a glass of wine before you start (alcohol relaxes muscle tension) but DON'T get properly drunk so you don't really know what you're doing, please. Laying flat on your back, with your legs apart and knees raised about half way is a relaxing and comfortable position, which helps. I wouldn't try any more elaborate positions just yet, that will just be a further thing on your mind. This is basically the position most women give birth in, so everything down there is easily accessible and keeping a 'straight(ish) line' of penetration. Lube is a good idea, but making sure you are fully aroused and 'wet' is maybe more important. Just slopping loads of lubricant all over him and yourself will not do anything to relax your muscles. And 'faffing about' with bottles and stuff might actually get you more stressed and even annoyed. Wanting it to be pleasurable, as you say suggests to me that it's just this involuntary muscle reflex when it actually comes down to starting is the problem. And once you manage one or two enjoyable encounters I doubt he'll have any trouble penetrating you again. Good luck. Keep calm and relaxed.
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Congratulations on losing your virginity! Its a special thing to give it up to someone and stuff! I have a few tips myself...
Lubricated condoms or lubrication in general is going to help the problem. Also, making sure you aren't tense or nervous will help! Be relaxed and just have fun!
Different positions may make you more comfortable, too, or even spice things up!
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Ok, all virgins pretty much have this problem and if you dont know too much about sex then heres a tip that will never go wrong. LUBE!!!
buy some lube ESPECIALLY if your a virgin ok. That hole is far too small still and it will take you guys having sex a few times to stretch out a little more so that things are easier.
Have him slow down and little and "work his way in there" not just try to barrel into you. thats not going to work and it will only hurt YOU. Also if your more relaxed and he can finger you a little before he tries to enter you so that your body is "ready" then that can work too.
But the lube can never really do you wrong, because you cant always just produce your own natural lube, the stuff from the store will make up for any shortage you might have. ; )
also condoms with lube are a big help too.
If you get lube, and wanna try a different position, you can put some on his thys and lower stomach. This will allow you to be on top which is how alot of females are able to reach orgasm since some cant do it on their back with the guy on top. ; )
lube is your best friend hunny.
good luck
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