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Why doesn't my mom get why I don't want to go baby clothes shopping?
Why doesn't my mom get why I don't want to go baby clothes shopping with her when she said the reason why she's having another kid so late (I am 19) is cause myself and my siblings are "cursed". Yes, my situation really is that fucked. I'm going to community college for 2 years, so I'm still at home, but I'm trying to become more busy so my mom doesn't get the idea I'm going to put my life on hold because she suddenly decided to have a baby so late in the game. It pisses me off cause she thinks something is supernaturally wrong with her existing children that this new baby will solve all her problems. Our family is already really busy now, and it just makes all she said a joke about us being financially hard up. A pet is too expensive but not another child? She just doesn't like animals. I also don't think I'll be able to bond as a sibling with someone young enough to be my own child. I told this to her and she dismissed it, when idk anyone in our family our community with such large age gaps, unless the wife remarried later on and wanted a kid with their new spouse, which is the only acceptable reason to me, other than adoption. She also thought it was weird I asked about whether she conceived naturally or got a donor egg or whatever, cause she's in her mid to late 40s. I found bookmarks on her computer to fertility places, and questionnaires to potential egg donors. I also know she has been getting shots. But she lied to me that it was all natural when I think she has been trying for the past 2 years, at least. I initially suspected when I noticed she was taking prenatals, years ago. Why wouldn't a parent consider how their 3 other children, mostly adults, would feel about another, intentional addition? I just think the way she's going about it is insensitive and personally I don't want kids til my 30s, when I am hopefully In a decent financial position, and the kids can be close in age. I even only want 2, unless I win the lottery or something. Why are my parents so obtuse about this? They believe in witchcraft and what not and my mom is about to give birth and has hardly told anyone about her pregnancy, barely anyone even in her family, cause she thinks it will protect the kid from spiritual attack. It's like.. She would rather ask a psychic how her kid is doing than evaluate herself, and see how she could do things differently. My life is increasingly becoming chaotic and I iust feel my parents have checked out and barely even support what I want to do. I'd even label them almost toxic influences on me, from certain things I've been subjected to, falling under abuse but seen as "treatment" to them. I don't have close friends to confide such details with so I appreciate your point of view on this complex matter. I envy people who's parents didn't frown on their kids for not entering the medical field, and supported them through their journeys, even through the bumps in the road. I can't say that with my own parents, unfortunately. I mean yes, financially they help me, I still live under their roof, but mentally and emotionally we are just completely on different pages.
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Adviceman covered lots of things and I agree with him wholeheartedly. Be sure to advise your parents ahead not to assume you will become their babysitter.I can see them spring this on you at the last minute after baby is born otherwise.
I want to cover the part you mentioned of your mother believing you and your siblings to be cursed and fearing for people to know of her pregnancy thinking somehow baby will become cursed. Then you say they believe in witchcraft but run to psychic's for all their decision making.
Here's what I wonder...
See, I am hearing what your mom supposedly says and it doesn't match at all what I know of people who are pagan, wiccan and witches. I love a lot of what they do in their beliefs and a true witch is as loving and kind as the next person, but does not practice black magick or devil worship. That is something entirely different as witches and pagans don't even beleive in Satan. Though they do believe in Jesus, just not the fact he had to save them from sins in this one lifetime, because instead they believe in reincarnation.
I also know that a true witch has their own abilities they work on and don't rely so heavily on what any random psychic may have to say, they are in tune with the universe, the goddess (which I believe is another name for the Holy Spirit) or God, which is Jesus, as they refer often to the Lord and Lady, which from my studies equates Jesus and Holy Spirit. They also do not fear cursing or spiritual attack because a true witch knows how to intentionally set up protection for themselves and their loved ones. They put their intent (prayer focus) into setting up a barrier. Many use rituals and spells which are spoken words and use of items which in themself have no power but it helps to keep their mind and intent focused so that they are able to channel the power of the universe or god/goddess. Does this sound anything like your Mom and Dad. My gut sense is telling me that they don't have an inkling of a clue as to what witchcraft is about. They are pretenders most likely and so stumble through life spouting stuff they know nothing about in hopes it will make them look like they know something. Believe me, I have run into even a pychic at a party who was pulling cards and my friends asked me to go take a turn with her. She pulled cards and started telling me what it meant when I knew it to mean something totally different in my life and began to explain it to her how i see it. She was surprised, snatched up the cards into a deck and asked me to do a reading for her and had all sorts of questions for me.
This happens often. Even I know the limits of my skills. I am more intuitive than a full fledged psychic. I could be totally wrong here but if somewhere in the last 5 to 7 years, your mom met a psychic and asked about you kids, it is possible the psychic saw a piece of the future, just the sense that moms current children at the time would be cursed. But they psychic may not have had the explanation to go along with as to what it meant. Your mom in her naivety took it the wrong way. The psychic only foresaw a fact that your mom or both parents would choose to forsake their own children, withdraw from them their love, consider their children inferior or something and thus see you as cursed in their own minds. This was likely to happen even without your moms crazy idea to have another child to right the problem she seems to think exists. You kids aren't cursed by some other mysterious source but by her and she doesn't see it. No, I don't see this as a curse where another is bound and restricted from achieving anything they wish to in life. Perhaps from the same or another psychic she heard something about having a chance to correct things with having another baby. It was likely meant personally for her, to have another chance in life to raise a child correctly as the rest of you are adults now. But she took it to mean that having a baby was going to break a curse some mysterious stranger put on her now adult children. If I am right about what I am sensing here in this scenerio, then your parents are truly gullible, have no clue this is all about their life and they own personal growth when something is shared. Not that something shared with them is for the betterment of humans other than themselves. Thats how its works. Most true psychics who do get certain messages ask the universe first if it is okay to share with someone or not.
I can;t know for certain and have no hunch here...just guessing but Your parents are either extremely naive or have seriously messed up thought processes, very negative thinking, always seeing the worst. For all I know, there could be some mental issues or illness too for one or the other.
You of course can not approach her with what I have shared with you, its a possibility to help understand a reason why she and dad may be acting the way they do. I also wish for you to understand that as souls who reincarnate, perhaps your parents souls have much less experience than your own and yours is a way older more mature soul so it befuddles you to see them act as they do. We can't always have parents who not only have more earthly wisdom but soul wisdom as well. They raised you the best they know how. Think of it as a constant 5 yr old (soul wise) raising a 100 yr old soul in the body of their child. It sounds ridiculous but such is lifes situations often. It can help you to mentally deal with the situation without holding anything against the parents or the new baby who is an innocent in moms naiveness and mistakes. A situation like this will test your ability to be the more adult person in the situation than your own parents. You will likely always feel more like a parent to your new sibling than a sister and thats fine, most people seeing the two of you together who dont know your family will assume its your child, just say thankyou and answer as if you are the mom for in actualily, because of the age difference, you will be in effect interacting more like a 2nd mom with the child than a sister. And that is okay. Perhaps it will bring a little stability into the childs life. So keep your head about your shoulders dear. I know its not easy and I am sorry your parents reject you or keep their love and support from you but theres nothing you can do to change them. Set up a protective bubble around you so that the hurtful things the parents may say or do are only heard and seen, but unable to penetrate deep into your subconscious and your soul to torment you long after done or spoken. This way you remember the words, but they are unable to make you feel hurt or pain. But you have to be conscious of this. Call it witchcraft or simple abilities that God gave each one of us but few every really learn to use. I hope this helps you for a start but if you have need to talk further, you can write me any time through my column.
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As much as you may dislike the idea of a sibling being added to the family at this point in your life. Your parents are under no obligation to get permission from you or your other siblings to have another child . This is something you and are going to have to learn to live with.
I do understand how you feel to suddenly wake up one morning and be told you are about to be a sister to another sibling who very well could be your child. Is very disturbing and could be embarrassing as well. You do not have to bond with this child though I suspect you will once it is born and you have the opportunity to hold it.
Still the decision to have a child is your parents not yours. You are an adult now responsible for your own well being. As the youngest of the present siblings and living at home I suspect your parents may look to you for help in caring for the new siblings.
I would suggest you tell them now not to count on you being available to care for this child; to be available to baby sit while they work. You have your own life which includes school, possibly work and study which all have to come before baby sitting or other assistance with the new sibling.
What I have just written may sound harsh but must be spoken. Your parents may expect that since, for the next 2 years you will be living at home they can count on you for help. They may expect this in return for your living at home and financial help they give you. You have to tell them you will help when available but you have to put yourself first if you have any chance of success in the future as your older siblings have had.
It really boils down to this. There are those people who have plans that fail and people who fail to plan. Which means it is okay to plan and have that plan fail as long as you correct what fails and continue. It is not okay to fail to plan.
At 19 you need to make a life plan and follow it. If along the way a part of the plan fails, then you correct what has failed and continue. This is what you need to explain to your parents and that a new sibling at this point in your life does not fir into your plan. You will do what you can when you can but you will not destroy your plan and fail because they made a life changing change to their plan.
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