|
missing my dad !
My name is Rachel and i am a 26 year old female and Father's Day is this Sunday and my dad died when I was 12 and my parent's divorced when I was 3 years old so I don't even really remember him.
How can you miss someone you don't even remember ? The other day I went it to the store and I caught my self buying circus penuts because the only thing I remembered about my dad was that he always had them in his pocket and I don't even like Circus Penuts .
I always go to the cemementary every year on Father's day even though I know that he is not there it's just his body but it's just because he is my dad . How do I get over missing my dad that I never really new ?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Its ok to miss your dad. The thoughts normally for people in this situation is the "what could have been" sort of stream of thought and the "how could my life have been different if he'd lived" as well.
I think its great that your still honoring your father by visiting what Is still left of him where he is buried, that just shows him already that you cared all along and im sure he knows it.
What ive told family members and people that have lost someone close to them (even years after theyve passed away) is to think about them before you go to bed. Tell them that you'd love to sit and talk with them sometime in your dreams and that you'd be open to them "visiting" you there. Dont EXPECT anything to happen just let things go after that, relax, fall asleep and just see what happens.
psychics actually run in all the women on my fathers side of the family and we all receive messages in our dreams because thats when you are the most "open" and vulnerable to spirits.
then in the morning before you wake up and open your eyes, try to lay still and "rewind" on the dream like you would with an old video tape! remember the "be kind rewind" thing? imagine that in your mind and try to remember as MUCH as you can before you open your eyes because the moment you do that, your brain already starts to process what your seeing for the day and the memory of the dream will slip away from you SO easy.
if you CAN manage to dream and you see your father but didnt quite master that last part of remembering it, dont worry, he will come back and try again. they always do ; )
good luck and just try what i suggested and see what happens.
]
Hi there. We certainly can miss things we never had. The saying is simply untrue. There are an awful lot of complex reasons why our minds can be aware of the 'absence of a presence in our life' and not just 'the presence of an absence in our life'. Indeed, the mind cannot clearly differentiate between the two. The sense of loss is pretty much identical in either case. As a general and not too complex overview, there is a world of objects and a world of thoughts. The thought of a chair is not itself a chair. You cannot sit on the the 'thought of a chair'. Yet they are linked, and the link is all but impossible to break. Nobody has ever really explained the 'bridge' between the world of objects and the world of ideas. You must grieve the loss of "the thought of your dad" in the same way as you would grieve the loss of the physical person, though the physical person is not clearly defined in your memory. Though you did not know your father closely, the thought of Father's Day is still a powerful trigger. Visiting his grave is something you can share with those who knew him in person. I'm afraid I have no religious conviction myself. I can't tell you the dead somehow watch over us, or that we meet again in an afterlife. But I do believe that the dead live on in us as long as we keep the memory of them alive. We see flashes of the deceased in their sons and daughters. Though you never knew him well, it is only through his existence that you are here at all. You carry that genetic code. You are his daughter. Keep him alive by being the kind of daughter he would have been proud of and pleased with. Perhaps you could talk to people who knew him well and talk to them about what sort of a man he was? Celebrate the fact that he existed, and produced you. You are his legacy. I reckon that's the kind of epitaph any man would like. A real living one. That's what you are.
]
More Questions: |