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Should I talk to him?
So about 8 months ago, me and this guy started talking. We didn't talk in school, we only texted (just friends).
Later we got into this HUGE fight and I told him I didn't want to be his friend anymore only because I was mad, not because I meant it.
Anyway, he got mad at me and didn't talk to me. Then when I finally got him to talk to me again he said he doesn't think he should be friends with a person who doesn't want to be friends with him (even though I told him I didn't mean it).
We don't talk anymore and it's really awkward at school. But my problem is that we're not friends and I don't exactly know why. It's not because of that one thing that I said.
He told me there are a few more reasons. And I can't live with an unresolved conflict. Like I need to figure out what I did wrong or end the friendship. It just kinda got cut off.
This happened maybe about 8 months ago? Would it be weird if I bring it up to him again?
I have dreams about him over and over, and in the dream I'm scared to talk to him.
Idk what to do, he won't talk to me, please help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Thsi si going to happen in life over and over with people through your life. Theres GOING to be unresolved fights and things liek that even if youve done your level best to fix things with them.
It take time but if youve already told him that what you said you didnt mean and you were just really heated at that one moment in time but that your sorry then he may realize later in his own time that you were genuinely sorry and didnt mean it. This is also a lesson on thinking before you speak even in the most heated of moments.
Ive actually been on the other side of this coin where a friend said some really messed up stuff to me during an argument, even going as far as to dig up things from ten years back just to be hurtful! so trust me i can understand him never wanting to talk to you again, no offense.
You will learn this as you get older and how to control your mouth and your emotions because they can both be connected and sometimes too much. normal adults, even during arguments KNOW what and what not to bring up even when their upset and angry and i think youll grow from this experience. Your hurt from losing a friend over it will teach you and stick with you for along time and the next time your heated youll remember what happened and choose more selectively what to say.
we're all a constant work in progress and we never stop learning and should never stop improving.
Your going to have to let him go, because he has the right to never speak to you again and to keep trying would be harassment on your part. the only thing you can do now is give him space and hope that eventually he will come around.
We've all had this happen to us before, its part of life, and youll get through it. Some lessons are harder than others but you can watch others, learn from THEIR mistakes and make sure not to make the same ones. thats the only way to safe guard yourself against this kind of pain again.
good luck.
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Learning how to be okay with not having all the answers, is an important life skill. The better thing for you to do here would be to learn to accept and be at peace with the situation, rather than going on the offensive and trying to pry out more answers from him.
It's been months. Frankly, he doesn't remember exactly what he thought or felt at the time, and neither do you. Any questions you ask him would be invasive and rude, and you wouldn't get the answers you are really looking for anyways.
Learn to live without resolution to every conversation. That is probably more important to your long-term mental health than this person is.
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I think he took what you said way too seriously, but you should not have said that in the first place. But anyway, if he isn't making an effort to at least be friends again then how could you consider someone like that as a friend? He probably isn't worrying about your friendship as much as you are. But if you really want to be his friend again try to give him a little bit more time to think about your situation and approach him or you could let him approach you if he cares enough.
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