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How can I stop being so awkward when messaging my friends?
Hi there. I have social anxiety. Lately, it's really gotten to be a problem when it comes to interacting with other people, especially my friends. Even sending messages online is incredibly awkward. I take a long time to respond to the simplest of messages because I overthink things, but even though I know this, I still can't stop approach it any other way.
A lot of my friends have stopped talking to me online because it's just too awkward. Half the time I end up repeating myself, contradicting myself, or I put my foot in my mouth and say something I shouldn't have. I don't know what to do about it. Any advice would be welcome.
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Hi Hon. social anxiety is fairly common today, even more so because so many have cells and text and haven't learned as they grew up, how to converse with people. In my time it was called being shy but I had a fear of people too and what they would think of me.
What you have may be just that but if you are doing a lot of the overthinking and talking yourself out of, vasciallating back and forth on what to do and not able to commit to one idea in any situation or area of your life, then it may not be related just to socialness but be a plain old Anxiety disorder which is a disorder that many suffer from today so you're not the odd ball out.
Social anxiety is the more common known thing and heard out and about. However, there is something else that comes close and only a professional can diagnose either and give the proper treatment.
This other disorder, less known but equally a problem today is a Cognitive Behavorial disorder. Cognitive means thinking, thoughts and is more of a learned bad habit with your brain so it can be un-learned and not require medication. The solution in this case is not medication for anxiety but Cognitive Behavioral therapy. Sometimes you can get a lazy Dr. who just wants to prescribe meds and not send you to a specialist Dr. to do tests, ask you questions to determine if your problem is more CB caused but your thinking process or just anxiety. Both which have the same end result, you not taking an action and unable to decide.
So if you haven't been seen by a doctor and diagnosed, this is an issue hon, which needs professional help. Doesn't mean you are broken or less of a human. It is just how you were born or a product of how you grew up. In my case, my mom was extremely shy, had zero friends, afraid to talk to people and as a little kid, she was my role example. Little kids learn to copy their parents so I little by little learned to become so, then by time I was in grade school it continued. My dad was the total opposite, very out going and made friends easily so by my last two years in high school, I was tired of being so shy/socially anxious and worked hard on my own to overcome it and did, but generally most people are not able to push themselves to do something despite their fear and anxiety and need professionals to help. I suggest you talk to mom and dad about this. Show them my response. Most parents want to know and get their child help. Only a few odd ones react opposite, not wanting to acknowledge there is something wrong with theire child thinking it reflects on them. That is not the case. they can be great parents and still this is the case. My parents were great parents and I had issues too.
If there are problems and they aren't willing to help, show them my response here. If that doesnt help in case theres an issue, talk to a school counselor and ask them to get you help. You deserve to not have to live with this the rest of your life. Good luck dear.
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