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Waiting for my boyfriend who is in jail for a prostituion sting
Ok, so I have been with my boy"friend" for almost 2 years, our relationship has been good, not perfect of course, but I honestly felt like he was my life partner, my best friend. Or so he said! Well I am 7 months pregnant with our first son, 5 days ago I got a call saying that he had tried picking up a prostitute and got caught in an undercover sting. He is looking at several years in prison. He seems really sorry, but he also seemed like he really loved me. Should I wait for him?
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I have to agree with boththe previous answers here. You have absolutely NO idea what is going on obviously if hes facing YEARS in jail. First timers do not get years in prison so he WAS hiding something.
You can call the jail or go to the website for your counties jail and enter his name in and it will tell you his charges. ALL of them, not just the ones he chose to let you in on.
The fact that he lied like this, to ME would say "i have no respect for you whatever ever and your not important enough to me that make me rethink my choices as a man because im with you"
One very important thing ive learned in life is that you cant fall in love with someones "potential" because we ALL have the potential to do anything in our lives or to change and not be the way we were before this. You coming into his life obviously was not enough to get him to rethink doing what hes probably done already multiple times based on what his sentence sounds like here. So i would not want to be with someone like that and i would not wait for him either.
Someone can feel like your life partner but people are also very good at hiding their true selves better then you think. Some are capable of it for longer then you might think and some can only hide things for a short period of time.
We cant tell you the reasons why this happened, or where things will go from here, but youve got that little boy growing in you that will need someone strong to look up to in life thats a good example for him. For now that will have to be you because his father is going to gone for a WHILE.
He didnt just do this to you, he did it to your child as well. so remember that when you go to ask him what he was really doing and what he was really thinking when he chose to hit up a hooker. No only did he NOT think of you, or your safety when it comes to deseases, he also didnt think:i could get caught, this would be a betrayel of my girlfriends trust, i have a baby on the way, OR what will this do to our relationship.
So no matter how much he claims to love you, he obviously was NOT putting you at the top of his list or your life together as a family to be. He broke it before it even got to start and now youll have to handle everything on your own, giving birth, bills, doctors visits, your babys first milestones......i dont think i need to keep going here.
In my mind he was being increditbly selfish to put himself in a position to get caught up like this and land himself in jail for such a long period of time. When you talk to him maybe tell him to cut the B.S. and be honest with you about his charges because doing what he says he did, doesnt land someone in jail for years so it would be best now to just stop lying.
good luck and i really hope things turn out for you and your child.
and of course go get yourself tested for like EVERYTHING.
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In the states, most Johns don't go to jail for more than a month or so on the charge of soliciting a prostitute. Someone who is facing years or a felony charge of solicitation, that person is either a repeat offender, or had been a pimp.
If he is actually looking at several years in prison, you need to consider the behaviour that landed him in that situation, because it's almost certainly not a case of a single stupid decision.
Maybe the prosecution is over-reaching, but really, looking at years for soliciting a prostitute means there is something else going on here.
He's the father of your child, so he's always going to be in your life, but if he has made repeated poor decisions and landed himself in jail for years, then he is probably not a good person to be in a relationship with right now.
You don't need to have all answers right now, or to make the decision right away, but you should go see a doctor right away and tell them that your boyfriend had been soliciting prostitutes and you need to be checked for every STI. Some STIs - even those curable ones - can complicate or even endanger a pregnancy, so do that right away.
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There is something odd here. Being a John in a prostitution sting is usually a misdemeanor offence. After being booked, if they are formally booked, a desk appearance citation is issued. This is either not his first offence or he is on parole for something else and this is a violation of that parole. The Johns don't usually go to jail for several years for solicitation of prostitution.
The first thing you need to do to answer your question is to get the facts. Find out why he is being held. Court and police records are public records open to anyone wishing to see them. I am almost positive it is for something more sinister than solicitation of a prostitute.
Once you have the answer to that question and decide if you can live with someone who has hidden whatever it is he may have done. Then ask yourself these question.
1)Your his girlfriend; you're available to have sex with him; why is he out soliciting a prostitute?
2)Is this really his first time or has he done this before?
3)Is it possible he will continue to solicit prostitutes and is it possible he will bring home an infection to me? Would I still want him?
Regardless of how you answer these question; see your doctor or GYN immediately and get tested for STDS and HIV/AIDS. You can't be sure if this was his first time and you need to make sure he hasn't infected you or your baby with anything.
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