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I think I said too much...
OK so I'm in high school and I have a best friend(let's call her Donna). Donna and I are super close, see each other several times a week, if not everyday, and I have very little that happens in my life that doesn't involve or isn't influenced by her in some way.
So, whenever I'm talking to people, naturally most(if not all) the stories I tell involve her.
Well, about a year ago now, a close family friend, Amy, came back after a few years of little to no contact(she was really sick so she couldn't come visit). And a couple months ago, I got caught drinking by my parents.
(I know it's not a good thing, and I really don't do it that often and I rarely ever drink enough to feel more than slightly buzzed. It was just this time for some reason it hit me a lot harder than I thought it would..plus where I live it is literally impossible not to be around it)
But anyway, Amy helped me with stuff during that situation, so I started trusting her with things and talking to her a lot more.
But my problem is...I have a problem where I tell a story or say something that happened to someone then stop and think "crap..I probably shouldn't have said that..." then feel terrible after. I wont for peoples deepest secrets or anything people tell me not to tell anyone. But just things that are just common sense that it shouldn't be shared...especially about someone else(meaning Donna as explained above)...
And the thing is, recently Donna told me not to tell Amy certain things, and some specific things we have done and stuff. And half of them I already told her, or at least I wasn't sure if I did or not... And that got me thinking and I've told Amy a lot of things I probably shouldn't of...and I feel terrible... But if I tell Donna that she'll be, well... not pleased.(she's really hot headed and stubborn...)
And if I tell Amy just not to bring any of it up to Donna, I'm worried she might forget and slip up or confront Donna about something I was worried about(the later of which she's done before.)
I don't know...just does anyone know how I could possibly fix this before it becomes a terrible situation and any tips on how to keep myself from doing things like this to myself more...I really try not to but when I'm exited or angry things just...come out and then I think about it and feel bad/worried...
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Oh wow, this is just one of those unfortunate situations where you got too drunk and might have talked to her about some things you could have kept to yourself.
the only thing you can do now is if she does say anything just say her and i were drinking, we got a little too drunk and were BOTH telling each other things and that might have slipped out. the only thing you can do is say you dont remmeber but that you and her were both talking about deep down personal stuff and things that were going on with friends and family to each other and thats how it came out but try to comfort her and let her know that your family friend doesnt care and isnt going to judge you on it if SHE doesnt bring anything up about it.
then tell amy that you dont remember everything you girls talked about while you were both intoxicated but that you'd really love for her to keep those things to herself of course just as she would probably want to you to do if it were her telling YOU something private.
Next time if the two of them ever do meet they'll each know this about each other but never bring it up see? ; )
youll be fine and if it DOES ever come up (which it should if they both arent big mouths) then use the "well i think this one time like forever ago when her and i were drinking and talking about deep down personal things i might have mentioned this or that but its not like she didnt tell me stuff too" and use the card to play that you have which is that shes a close family friend and youve been able to trust her before and that she cares and "isnt like that" just apply the "she isnt like that" to anything the friend might say in rebuttal negative she might have to say about amy.
"she isnt like that" "she wont do that" and "you have nothing to worry about shes cool even though she does have her own issues"
thats the only way i can see you being able to smooth this all over before it turns into something huge and out of control.
good luck ; )
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What's done is done and there is nothing you can do about it. If anything, you can tell Amy "I trust what I said when I was drunk stays between us right? I told you that in confidence. Hope you can respect that." Hopefully she'll comply. If you beg her not to tell her, she might wanna do it. But if you say it like she'll be the bad guy if she rats you out, maybe that'll work better.
I've said some dumb stuff I really regret saying when I've gotten too drunk. Then the next day I'm tripping. Going over scenarios or what people think of the things I said. Since what's done is done and you can't take it back. The only thing to do is accept it. No point crying over spilled milk right? Another way to lessen the stress is to think of the worst case scenario. Then think "AND"? as in, and then what? then after that, "AND?" again. Lots of times, you'll find that even the worst case scenario isn't all that bad in the end. Instead of the "AND?" you could substitute. "Why would that be so bad?" then after you answer that, ask again. "and why would that be so bad?"
Learn from this experience and remind yourself when you start drinking that you will not talk about others. Cause you blow it and shit like this happens.
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I can't offer you what to do after its all been said. However, I am as chatty and a big story teller as you sound like. So I have to watch what I share. So for the future, try to retrain yourself to tell stories with "There's a person I know of, and thats not saying whether friend, family member, extended family member or friends of any of those, but here's the story as I heard it. They can guess all they want and not have a clue, if someone asks, is it Donna, or is it Amy when they know you wish not to reveal it, then say, I'd rather not start verifying with yes and no so you can start eliminating and narrowing down who it might be. Or...simply say something that is not a yes and betraying them, and is not a no and lying if it IS about them. If they say its sounds like Amy youre talking about it. All you need to say is, "I can see why you'd guess that, it does sound like I'm talking about Amy." This answer nethier affirms nor negates who it is, but the choice of words will make them think that they guessed wrong. Good luck.
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