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He won't talk to me now.
We're both 20, I'm female, he's male.
No judging or lectures please, believe me, I got chewed out by my friends afterwards.
My brother's girlfriend's younger brother is best friends with four friends that go to my college. So my brother comes up a lot to hang out with them and usually always invites me. I started getting close to one of the guys that live there so he invited me back the next night without my brother so I went with my best friend.
The next night when we went without my brother, we were all having a good time. One of the roommates was out at the bar, the other one was at the neighbor's and the other two were at home so there was maybe eight of us there. After a few hours, the roommate that was at the neighbor's came home. He has a crush on my best friend and has been trying to hook up with her. So, he got this new fish, right. When he came home from the neighbors, he saw my friend and I there and invited my friend up to his room to see his fish and she knew what he was trying to do and tried to think of a reason to not (she has a boyfriend) but didn't want to be rude so I told her to go and I'll get her in five minutes if she isn't back yet.
Meanwhile, I'm downstairs with the guy I've been talking to - the roommate that invited my friend and I back - on the couch. He was being very flirty, telling me I'm beautiful and he's glad we went back to next night since my brother was intimidating to him.
He would lean over and lay his head on my shoulder or run his fingers up my arm, so I rubbed my shoe down his leg, blah blah.
Then, my friend texted me about five minutes later an sos message so I told the guy I'm talking to to wait and I'll be back. So he waited, I went up to get her and she was pretty upset so I asked what was going on and the guy that was trying to hook up with her started hollering that she's a terrible person and that he lead her on and she shouldn't have done that. So she left upset, saying it'd just be best if she left the house as a whole but I told her to just go downstairs and talk to my guy, he's on the bottom step waiting for me so she went downstairs. She texted me a minute later that he wasn't there so I went down and he wasn't there so I asked the third roommate where he went and he pointed to his room. So I took my friend back to his room and he was on his bed watching netflix, I asked why he went in his room and he said we were taking too long but he asked what happened so she told him and I got mad listening to her talk about him yelling at her so I told her to stay there in his room while I went to talk to him again.
I went back upstairs to have a friendly conversation with him and it quickly turned into him yelling at me then. That he doesn't even like my friend and I, to leave him alone, that I don't even know him, to leave his house and not come back. So, I got pissed and went back down to my friend. My guy asked if it was all good but I told him that I can't come back (mainly because I just didn't want to see that roommate anymore, not because he kicked me out) and he told me that his opinion isn't the opinion of the whole house, the other three roommates like us so we could go back.
Later, my friend's boyfriend came to get her and I stayed back in his room. We hooked up (shocker) and we fell asleep cud ding. We didn't have sex, I was on my period but I didn't tell him that so I think he thought I didn't want to have sex with him because it would be awkward to tell him that the first time we're "together" that I was on my period so we just did what allowed. I then left when he fell asleep to go back to my place.
Now its about two weeks after, he texted me the next day when I texted him to have a good day at work and he said thanks, he was glad I went to his place that night. Now, he won't talk to me. Ignores my texts, doesn't say hi in person.
What gives? Do you think his roommate talked crap on me and he got mad? Do you think he's mad I didn't have sex with him?
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Well, his roommate is an abusive piece of shit. Let's just be clear about that: There is no excuse for yelling and name-calling because someone didn't want to sleep with you. That is always, 100%, an asshole move.
As for the guy you have a crush on - it's impossible for us to know how he felt about what happened. But here's the thing: If he is angry with you for supporting your friend after she was treated so terribly by the asshole roommate, then he is also an asshole, and you can count yourself lucky that he is ignoring you now.
If he's angry that you didn't want to have sex with him - see above. Also asshole, and you can count yourself lucky that he is ignoring you now.
There is a third option tho, and it's the most likely thing:
He's just not that into you.
It sucks, but frankly, that is what is probably going on here. Whatever else might be going on as well, whatever he might have thought about what happened that night, he's also probably just not into you all that much.
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If he is that impressionable that he'd rely on someone elses opinion of even if he first said that persons feelings and opinion don't count, would you really want to even spend time pursuing him? I personally wouldn't. But hey, thats your choice.
I'd rather give him the benefit of the doubt until you can be totally sure whether this is why he's acting different or not. Do I think he's mad you didn't have sex? Hmmm, if I said yes, would that make you become more loose sexually and actually Plan to have sex with every guy you meet on the first day just in case thats the only thing that might make them interested in you? If your target goal is to only have sex but not find a relationship, then that would be that way to go and all the more power to you for it if thats what you want. However few girls want just that. If a guy will give up on you because he didn't get sex the first sex, is that the kind of guy you can see spending the rest of your life with?
If so, continue to chase him and be used.
If you call or text a person too often, you will look needy and that drives them away. Stop contacting him, go on with life and if he's interested he'll get back to you. If not, you wont hear from him. If months from know you get a test or bump into him somewhere (unintentionally) and he asks how you're doing. He's just curious, not interested in getting back together or changed his mind. If he wants that, he will bring it up with things like, I cant get you off my mind, i want to hang out maybe date you and get to know you better. then he's interested. But you need to let him bring it up. Otherwise, tell him you're fine and hope he's the same and say goodbye and walk off without asking him to call or asking for anything or refering to the past.
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