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Is it weird he bought me something?
Hello, I'm a twenty year old female. I work at a grocery store with a bunch of people all different ages. There's this older guy at work that I like talking to. He's older, like I said, and married to another woman that works at the same store. The other weekend he went away to Disney with his family for his second cousin's wedding. He's a jokey guy, always picking on people and making jokes so he asked me the other day before I even knew he was actually going if I wanted anything from Disney. I was confused by his question and didn't put two and two together that he was probably going and that's why he asked so I just said yes. Well, he just got back the other day and he actually did get me something. I just don't know if that's weird or not. He's married and has his own family but I'm twenty years old, he bought me something, comes through my line a lot and work. It just all seems kind of too weird.
Do you think it's normal he actually did get me something? He never got physical or anything with me, just talks to me a lot. What do I do if it is deemed abnormal, should I stop contact with him?
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As far as I can see, there is nothing wrong with him liking your personality a bit more than other coworkers. Maybe he gravitates towards a work friendship with you because you remind him of someone he likes or cares about, a sister, cousin, a daughter and it makes it naturally easier for him to be drawn as just a friend.
There only is a problem is he continues to give you little gifts. And that means there is something more that is causing him to do this, whether its of a sexual nature or not, you won't know but you can always say it makes you uncomfortable and you'd like him to stop. If he doesnt, then talk to manager.
What you might do if its really feeling awkward still or bothering you that he brought you a gift is to say something not that is was bad but about the misunderstanding on your part.
Like, "Hey, when you asked if I'd like something from Disney, I had no idea you were actually going on a trip there and simply thought it was just a teasing comment, not serious so I said yes. When you actually gave me a gift/souvenier from there, I was surprised. I wouldn't have said yes, If I realized you were serious. I know we're good friends at work but co workers don't usually buy gifts for each other...it makes it feel as if we are closer than just friends and makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and am sure you meant nothing by it but thought you deserved to know how awkward it made me feel.
This talk doesnt accuse him of anything so he wont react in self protect mode/become defensive. And if he is a mature adult, he will respect your wishes, know its okay to be a friend at work but not to give gifts. If he does, you tell a manager everything you told me and if you follow my advice on what to say, even this late after the fact, of what you said to him about it and that he is still buying you gifts and it makes you uncomfortable.
So in the end, is it weird? Only if he brought you something and no one else got gifts.
Now I had a coworker going to the Phillipines to visit family and the deals on expensive things are amazing such a real pearl necklaces. She said she'd shop and bring back anything we wanted if we gave her the money to buy it for us. I had her get me a pink pearl and black pearl necklace and yes, they were real pearls. This would not be inappropriate as it is a business transaction, and them doing a favor for you. But thats not what happened.
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