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A guy I like at work
I am female and I am 43 years old. The guy I like will be 47 in 3 months. We live in the U.S.A. .The guy I like at work that said he wasn't interested in me is now going out of his way to walk by me since I have started ignoring him. I saw him one time in the hallway at our job,and I was going to go in the area where he was to get to the area I needed to get to but when I saw him and he saw me I looked at him shook my head and went the opposite direction to get to my destination. I didn't shake my head at him on purpose it was just automatic. Ever since then he comes by where I am working and walks by me,looks up at me or glances at me. Some how he was Always scheduled on the same days I was even though he works a different shift than I do and he has a different manager than I do and his Manager knew that I liked this guy. Could he be interested in me now ? How do I get this guy. I don't want to lose any chance with him because I Still like this guy but I am afraid that he will stop liking me if I keep ignoring him. Please I need help with what I should do so I don't lose any chance with him !!
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You say you dont want to lose any chance with him.
But there are a few situations in which you really do not 'have a chance'.
A most obvious one is if he is one of those guys who are into this for the sport, for the chase and once he catches the girl, then he ignores her because he wasn't into having a real, full relationship with her, he just wanted the excitement of the chase. That kind of excitement is like a high, a drug that a guy can become addicted to. What little you've said, certainly sounds like it. If you had begged him to date you after he said he wasn't interested, he would have continued to resist as there was no longer any challenge to pursue once you're caught. However, you instead ignored him, as if you changed your mind about him toying with you that way. So instantly, you became a challenge for him to play his game of pursuit again. He said he wasn't interested by chased you anyhow. The other possibility depending on if he's a bachelor, divorced or married, is that he has a commitment to a girlfriend or wife. And he doesn't dare 'actually' start something with another female if he's happy with the other. He may have the wandering eye and enjoy the high he gets from the romance of the chase but will never make a commitment to you so he simply says he's not interested.
These are situations in which you won't have a chance with him no matter what you do.
You need to ask yourself what you are looking for. Just some male attention? Need emotional bonding only like a friendship? Need your sexual needs met only? Just wantin a guy for a person to do social stuff with? Looking for romance and love and a real relationship? You need to know what you truly need down deep or what you get if you pursue a guy may be less than he is willing or able to give you.
Simply liking a person when we first meet someone does not mean we won't find out after some "in depth interaction" with them in a relationship that they are not perfect for us after all. Right now you're attracted at just a surface level. If all you want to know is if he could have changed his mind, or lied to you about having no interest, is to ask him. If your asking us, you're asking the wrong person. Find a time when you and he can talk privately as it would be embarassing for anyone else to hear this.
I would ask something like this. "Look, I am getting mixed signals from you. First you act like you're interested in me and seem to me to be pursuing me. Once you got my interest and I asked, you told me you were not interested in me that way. So I ignored you as there wasn't a chance of anything with you. Now since ignoring you, you seem to be going out of your way to find excuses to be near me. Are you aware you are doing that? Because you are. That sends the signal to me that you were lying when you said you're not interested or you have changed your mind. One other possibility is that its a game for you and you're into this just for the challenge of the chase. So I am going to ask you right now to tell the truth, are you free to pursue a relationship? And if free, are you interesting in dating me? I will not stand for a guy who plays cat and mouse with me. So if into for the game of the chase, you can count me out as being willing to play the 'mouse'. If you're too chicken to say you're interested and willing to try a relationship, then you're also not for me as I want nothing to do with wimpy 'mama's boys'. I don't know if I'll like what I find when I look deeper but I am willing to give it a try. Are you?"
You have to be direct to get an answer. Watch his body language and facial expressions and his eyes, as this can give him away if he's uncomfortable with discussing this or trying to hide something. Then go with your gut feeling, and intuition.
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Usually when someone does that, it means they like you. With guys, I think you should wait for him to make the move. It may make him like you more considering people want what they can't have.
Hope this helps~
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