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I feel like I bother everyone that comes my way.
I feel like I'm bothering everyone right now and every night I would walk around aimlessly, no specific destination. I just walk around alone. I feel like absolute scum and I really feel like downing my depression pills. I feel like I bother everyone that comes my way. I can feel an end coming, darkness has come already. how can i ever explain that to my friends. the ones who only ever cared about me more than my own family
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Depression has two parts to it. There is the chemical part for which the medicine helps and then there is the part that happens because your body was unable to produce the proper amount of these chemicals that are suppose to keep you from becoming depressed.
When a person becomes depressed they fall into what is called the cycle of pain. In that cycle of pain is poor self-image or self-worth. This is what I am reading in what you have written. This poor image or self worth causes pain. Pain causes depression and the cycle of pain continues.
To break this cycle you need to find out what the trigger or triggers what that brought on this cycle. TO do this your medication should be being prescribed by a Board Certified Psychiatrist and you should be seeing a Doctor of Psychology for talk therapy.
Why a Psychiatrist for medication. The Chemicals that control depression are secreted into the brain. There for a psychiatrist is the best doctor to treat you.
A Board Certified Psychiatrist is the best doctor to treat this as he or she has spent a year in a Fellowship Training to be a Psychiatrist and has past all the test to be certified by the College of Psychiatry. Any doctor who has done a rotation during residency in many states can practice psychiatry but a Board Certified psychiatrist is best Trained for this.
The psychiatrist monitors your medication, it is the psychologist through talk therapy who is going to be the biggest help. For he or she will help you get to the root cause of your problem. This doctor becomes your new best friend. someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to knowing they will never leave the room they are spoken in. Even your parents cannot be told what is said in a therapy session without your written consent regardless of your age. What the psychologist will do is meet with parents or a spouse to tell them what the may do between therapy sessions to help you but will never reveal what is said in therapy.
In short my advice is. If you are not being treated by a Board Certified Psychiatrist then get one. IF you are call your doctor and speak to him about your medication. If you are not seeing a therapist as your psychiatrist to recommend one. If you are seeing a therapist and not comfortable with him or her get a new one. When it comes to therapists you may have to go through 2 or three until you find one you're comfortable with. You may also want one of your same sex. There is nothing wrong with this. Speak up and say what you need.
I have been where you are and there is light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to ask for the help you need.
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Well if you've been prescribed meds for depression, they obviously aren't working for you. You are going to need to see your Dr. and let him/her know and get a different prescription.
You may also need to try something else on top of that. Some people end up depressed because they have a habit of letting their thoughts run away on a negative track without trying to control it. So you get the snowball effect when traveling down hill, the snowball gathers more snow and gets bigger and bigger. Medication can help if you also get checked out to see if perhaps you have cognitive behavior issues, meaning your thought processes are in a habit of being negative and each negative thought builds upon the last until you are overwhelmed and then become depressed. Even the average person tends to get negative thoughts before they get positive ones. The difference is they stop themselves in the middle of entertaining something negative and replace it with a positive thought so that it cant snowball out of control. Ask your Dr. if perhaps Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might help you. I have no other ideas as to what else to check on as I am no mental health professional but I know a few people who benefited from this therapy so I know of it. good luck.
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