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Why?
My boyfriend said he wanted to take a break because he knows himself and knows that he might hurt me. He says he isn't ready to be exclusive right now. He said he hella likes me, that he likes me too much to hurt me. He said he liked me too much and that's why he was doing this. He called me over the phone to tell me this but we agreed to talk about it in person soon. What does this mean? Is it just bs and he doesn't like me? He's cheated on his girlfriends in the past is he not the type to commit or just not to me? Is this the end? He said he didn't want to lose me forever and still wanted to be cool with me he said he was always here for me. Is this a breakup or just a break. He offered an open relationship. He said later on wed probably be exclusive but he's not ready yet when I asked. He said he definitely still wanted me in his life. Any advice, be completely honest.
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I would just go with what he says.
He said he's not ready to be exclusive. That's all it means. Don't start reading into anything.
The advice I can give you is to not wait around for him. You don't know how long it will be till he is ready to be in a relationship.
He probably does still want you in his life, just doesn't want to be exclusive and see other people. I don't know him, but just based on what you've said.
By him offering an open relationship, it means still mess around but still seeing other people.
So I'd take some space to yourself and keep your head up. Don't wait for him and try to move on.
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Some people simply aren't wired to be monogamous just like some people are gay or transgender for a couple examples. You don't choose it, its part of who you are. Young people often are still trying to figure out who they really are and learn to not fight against it.
He offered an open relationship. There is such a thing as open relationships but usually that means two people are already committed to each other for long term like marriage and then both the guy and gal have other relationships outside theirs, outside the marriage but still maintain the core relationship with each other. Maybe this is who he is and he hasn't realized it yet. In that case he would need to find a gal that he can fall in love with and commit to for life and later on in the relationship, both seek extra partners outside the marriage. Some dedicated couples go into Swinging but still there is the core relationship. He may be afraid to commit to any one girl because he thinks it's a matter of him not having grown up yet or got it out of his system. In arrangments such as open relationships, swinging, or polyamory, more often than not, it is actually the female who brought up the subject and convinced her guy to try it with her and not the guy doing it as a way to get away with something. I would know as my ex and I spent time in a swing club and being naturally curious, I asked every couple I met how they came to begin attending such a place. Its not just the average person who finds they desire the extra activity on the side but many of those who were members were Cops, DA's, Judges, Presidents of companys, teachers, and the list goes on. Singles were not able to get in, it was for couples.
You could sit him down and say you have some questions and tell him you won't go crazy on him, you just want to know if maybe he wasn't born to be monogamous. But that it doesnt mean you can't be married or committed long term to one person. It is mostly couples who are committed who have open relationships, etc...and ask him if he thinks that maybe this is who he is, not intentionally cheating and not caring about one main lady in his life. Then you need to decide if you are willing to be with him under those terms or tell him perhaps he needs to look specifically for women who understand those concepts and welcome them. There are plenty of singles having trouble finding partners because of being this way. I don't recommend though starting a new relationship with the premise of being 'open'. It takes time to establish a solid relationship together. Perhaps some people can do that in 2 years time and then move on to the open concept. But in all of this, he'd have to be committed to not seek to please himself only, but be tuned in to his partner and their needs and if his partner needs his full attention for a couple weeks, then so be it cus she's his first commitment and always comes first. This is too much for most young people to handle. Young guys who haven't figured out who they are, will struggle with this...its way more complicated than working on just the one relationship.
Then again, he may just be a player and not willing to give it up. If he says he's that in to you and cares enough about not wanting to hurt you, then he's got a conscience, sounds like a good guy, not a player, and needs to work through his feelings and concerns with someone who is willing to talk to him without any placing of blame or accusations. Its only because of how you described him and what he said that I went this road of explanation. I wouldn't normally even bring it up but I feel it just may be the situation here and he's just not aware of that.
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