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Biology Boy Dilemma
Hi, I'm 19. Currently enrolled in a biology lab class. Anyways there's this guy in my class who is in my lab group and also lives in the same dorm hall as me. I decided to build up enough courage to ask him for his number today. I went up to him and asked him if he wanted to trade numbers for lab class. Should I text him and ask a question about the lab, or just start a normal conversation? I'm afraid if I text him too soon he will think I'm creepy. I should have just asked him for his
number, not added the lab part in there. We talk casually during our lab and I think I might have a chance.
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You asked another question of me in responses and normally if we don't catch those within 24 hrs we're not allowed to answer a new question here, I can only edit my previous response which is why my old answer is below. For next time, if you have more quiestions to ask a responder, go to their column and then click button to write direct to them.
Now for calling same day or after, if you feel better making up something related to lab, it better be a valid question you want answered, otherwise your call will come across as fishy unless of course you say why you really got his number. think about this, what would you do if he answers the question and then makes as if to hang up. The purpose was help with lab, he gave his answer, he's done and so it's natural to hang up now. Don't count on a guy wanting to just do small talk and chit chat then. There's a chance if it wasn't his idea to call you that he may be busy and focused on completing another too and he won't see a need to continue conversation. Would you be happy with that? If so, what did you accomplish towards getting him to know that you have an interest in him? All he knows is that for some reason you chose him to help you with lab. If a guy did that to you, would that be enough information for you to know 100% for sure he is interested in you? Maybe you might but the majority of girls I answer every week seem to always question a guys action as it could logically not be interest but simply asking for help or just being polite to talk to you. Its not enough info for you likely to just ask him out. Same for him. So just in case you do call just about lab and try to chit chat but he has to go, then in the end, you will need to eventually say something to him in lab to get across the message that you are interested in him. And it wouldn't be too late to tell him in lab that the reason you got his number and called was because you are interested in him. The worst that could happen is that he says he's not interested in you as anything more than a classmate. I know it's scary, but at some point in life, we all learn to be more direct to get what we want in life. Unfortunately for me, it took most my life to learn to not fear people and their responses. I am of course an older person in 50's but young at heart and I finally decided lifes too short to mess around or beat around the bush. At your age, I was just like you, worried about what my actions might have on a guy. I will say there's more chance that telling the truth will get you somewhere with him than not. If a guy was raised to believe old fashioned ways that it is the guys jjob to make the first move towards a girl, that's the only time it could rub the wrong way with him. But luckily, 99% of guys your age range raised in todays time find it perfectly normal and actually welcome the fact that a girl has taken the scary burdon of first contact off his shoulders. I learned thru life to pick up on body signals and other non verbal signs that a guy has some interest in me so its easier to make the first move. So there may be some signals like that you aren't noticing. But if chatting in lab is by choice and not an assigned lab partner, then he likes you enough to be in your presence to talk. A person who is not attracted to you would back up a step or two to create at least arms length space between you and him. What if a guy who you are grossed out by started following you around lab like a lost puppy dog always trying to get close to you even just to do lab stuff, wouldn't you feel uncomfortable and want to step away from him? That's one of the body language signs. And this is stuff most of us do without being aware of it, subconsciously. I will also say when I met my 2nd husband, now knowing better, I could feel the attraction between us and see his interest but I had to make the first move when seeing each other to even just kiss. I was so special to him he didn't want to scare me away by making a move too soon even though he greatly desired to. Either he could have said, um I'm interested in you just as a friend, nothing romantic, or a guy will respond back in a kiss which no person can do easily if there is no chemistry, otherwise it feels like you're doing a romantic kiss with your brother, yes, that icky. LOL. I've experienced it. Guy was hot looking but the kiss ended it all for me when feeling that response. So really, no matter at what stage of a relationship, there's always the next move to make and someone has to do it and guys these days tend to leave it up to the females. there are more females doing that than ever before so my opinion is that it's half and half to maybe 70% of girls making the first move these days. And it most situations, the guys are flattered and respond positively rather than saying no. Go for it dear. If he's so picky that he truly is offended for some reason, then he has some serious personality/characters flaws and probably isn't worth your time. I actually found it great if I could eliminate a guy as a prospect early on rather than go on dreaming about him for a year...again this feeling that my life is too short to waste time on a person not knowing if we have anything in commom and would work out. Whatever you decide to do, think it out with several different possible responses on his part and what your next step will be to get past that. If you don't think it out now and have at least some rudimentary plan, you'll just freeze up on the spot and not know what to do and then feel bad thinking you looked or acted dumb or foolish for fumbling and not knowing what to say next. Plan out for several scenerio's and tell yourself its okay no matter what his response is because the object of this exercise is to find out IF he'd like to become a friend outside of class and soon after to determine if he's romantically attracted to you. Good luck.
If you text too soon and he thinks you're creepy it's only because you're not giving him the truth. Even if he's not into you but you explain you asked for his number using lab as the excuse when you were just simply attracted to him and wanting to talk to him. If you say this, it's more likely he will feel flattered. Guys are like girls in this, they love to be flattered, they crave compliments, and they love someone flirting with them, paying attention, and enjoying being touched as much as any female. Just aren't as open as females about it. Or you have the option to chicken out for now and make up something about lab and tell him later long after you've established a solid friendship just for the laughs. I know my husband and I confided things to each other as to what we were thinking when we first met that we didn't dare say at the time that weren't cool to share. Like he confessed to trying to take peeks down my shirt without me noticing the day we first met in person and he's right, I didn't notice, he was real sly. LOL I'm sure it'll be fine, no matter which way you decide to go.
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I think you should start out talking about lab like a question or something, but once that is done, have a normal conversation. You go girl!
Hope this helps~
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