|
i don't want to do sex with my boy friend because i am always so scare about sex.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Just make sure he knows you don't want it. If he cares he should respect your decision.
]
Whatever your reasons are for fearing to have sex with your boyfriend they are justified. While there is no reason to fear having sex as it is a natural act for all of us there is reason not to want to have sex before you are ready.
If you are a teenager the things to fear about sex is of course an unwanted pregnancy which in itself is a reason not to have sex. Then there is the pain of the first sex which is always going to be more painful the younger you are. The reason for this has to do with the muscles in your vagina not being ready to be stretched when your younger. As you get older towards the end of puberty the hormones that allow these muscles to relax and stretch are released making the first time you have sex more enjoyable and less painful provided you are able to relax.
I say this to you as there is really nothing to fear from sex if you take the proper precautions against pregnancy and Sexually transmitted disease. This means you need to be on some sort of birth control and the guy must always wear a condom as well. Never have sex before marriage without the guy using a condom.
That being said and I say it only for informational purposes only and not to convince you to have sex now with your boyfriend. You will someday decide when you are ready, that someday is not now.
If your boyfriend is harassing you or begging you to have sex with him. He is breaking the law ones you have said NO. No means no and for him to continue to push you to have sex with him is sexual harassment which is illegal and he can be charged with a crime regardless of his age if he doesn't stop.
If he says to you something to the effect; "If you love me you will have sex with me." He dose not love you in the same definition of the word love that you have. He lusts for you and is not really in love with you. TO the teenage male lust and love have the same meaning.
Teenage sex is not away of proving your love for someone. Sex is the result of a long term loving ADULT relationship. When your maturity is such that you understand the consequences of your actions.
You need not be afraid of sex. Being scared right now is your bodies way of telling you that you are not ready for sex. Do not let your boyfriend in any way try to convince or force you to give into him. JUST SAY NO.
]
Whatever age you are, if you don't want to have sex and the idea is scaring you it's not time for you to have sex yet. You're not ready. True, you'll be nervous the first time you have sex. And at times in our lives when we perhaps break-up with a partner and come to the moment we first have sex with a 'new' partner, then most of us feel a little nervous all over again. But if you're using terms like "don't want to" and "scared" you're just not ready yet. Wait a while. Until you DO want to. It's your body, your life and your choice when you do it, and who you do it with. Stay true to your feelings, always. If something feels wrong for you there's a strong chance it IS wrong for you. X
]
Although there's no reason to be afraid of the sex act itself, your fear of the possible consequences of having sex is justified. Even with the most stringent precautions, becoming pregnant is a very real possibility and contracting a disease is also a threat.
The very purpose of human sexuality is to produce children. It's really not for recreation.
You would be wise to put off sexual contact until you are in a position to raise children with someone who has made a commitment (marriage) with you.
]
More Questions: |