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Feelings are fading.. and growing?
I've known "N" for about 5 years. He's always been so nice to to me.. Last year I walked past him in church and he smiled and started singing Happy birthday to me, he was waving his arms in the most ridiculous way. (His birthday is a day after mine.) I told him when my birthday was about 4 years ago and I was just thinking that he remembered for all of these years. When I smiled and said, wow you remembered.. He looked at me and said "how could I forget?" I've always liked him.
October last year.. I met a guy, "D"..we started dating November 8th. The thing is, he's not Mormon. I don't care if he isn't.. But he doesn't respect my standards like "n" would. "n" is Mormon too. I want to be married in the temple.. And I don't see a future with "D". With "N" I can..
I just don't think "N" likes me the way I like him. I told "n" I was gonna tell him about the troubles I've been having. (self harm.. I think I can trust him.) and during church he kept looking over at me. I have no idea why.
I just am falling out of love with "d".. And more into "n".. Even more than i already was. What should I do.
I talk with "N" tomorrow.
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"N" definitely seems to like you a bit. If you don't have feelings for "D" anymore, and like someone else, then you need to break up with him, because you shouldn't be in a relationship when you feel that way. There's no guarantee that "N" and you will end up together, but it's worth a shot? You individuals seem like a better match, anyway (: hope this helped~
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D is out cus any dude who wont respect your standards shouldn't even be considered as boyfriend material or more. If you decide to stay with him, that means you are settling for less than your own standards and that is something too many women do. Don't be one of them.
As for the significance of N remembering your Birthday, anyone can remember a birthday that is the day before, same day or day after theirs. Other than my own family, I tend to forget others birthdays unless for the reason I just gave. Facebook also gives you a daily list of everyone who is a fb friend, having birthday that day. I wouldn't hang onto this one thing as proof alone that he is the best guy for you or has a deep interest in you.If this event was a year ago and you have nothing else significant about relating together with him as friends on a weekly basis, then I'd have to guess you have a crush on him but that there isn't any interest beyond just church friends to him or in 5 yrs times, something more significant would have happened.
Not trying to burst your bubble. Just bring in some clarity and reality. Guys even young teens, who are interested in a girl will find ways to greet her often, talk to her, find excuses to stand or sit near her, ask for her number and text or call her, flirt with her. I know you are taking the one event as flirting. Maybe it was but males do not flirt just once and stop. If really flirting with you, you'll know it, it's obvious and repeated in many ways on many days.
You mention feeling more into N than before. Cant think of what you mentioned that might cover a change that precipitates this growing of feelings for him when there hasn;t been any encouragement from him, unless you failed to inform us of that.
As another advice giver stated, the bigger issue you have is with the need to self harm and keep it a secret. I am guessing of course that you wish to keep it secret because of your statement "I think I can trust him". Most obvious scenerio in my mind, you want someone you can tell about self harm and he won't tell anyone else. Or are you talking about someone you can tell what you do because you think they will whole heartedly support what you are doing and be okay with it? That is not reality. Last possible scenerio, one you haven't likely given thought to, if you want a guy who really does have feelings and cares about him and you tell him, you are hoping he will encourage you to talk to adults and get help or report you to professionals BECAUSE you can trust him to do the right thing, not just because he likes you. I wonder what in your mind you feel revealing this to him will accomplish? All teens have troubles growing up, it just varies in degrees.
As for why was he looking at you, probably in anticipation of what you had to share with him. Or did you mean that you have no idea why you feel the need to tell someone? If that's it, perhaps your subconscious mind is urging you to tell someone as a self preservation type move, telling another person so they can seek help for you since you may be afraid to do so yourself.
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"d" doesn't appear to be a good prospect for the kind of relationship you want.
My concern is about your troubles with "self harm." This is something that must be resolved before you will be able enjoy a satisfactory relationship with anyone. To reveal this to "n" might not work in your best interests.
I'd like to suggest that you search out someone who you can trust, perhaps the bishop of your stake or perhaps a school counselor and ask them for help resolving your "troubles."
When you talk with "n" keep the conversation on mutual interests, perhaps letting him take the lead.
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